butterflyluver

I apologize for any typos in advance as im doing this from my phone. Also my post may be all over the place because my mind is running wild. I have 4 addicts in my life. My step sad he is in recovery ten yrs from alcohol...my brother hes 25 and in recovery from heroin for 2yrs my father who is in active addiction and probably wont stop seeing he is in a pain clinic..he also sells and my bf who is active doc pain pills. This is who I am struggling with. Its been 5 long years and I know its about time to let him go but dont know how. We have a.4yr old son and this is not the lifestyle I want him growing up with. He is already having some issues of his own. So right now abf isnt abusing pills but smoking that synthetic marijuana that you can buy in the store...aloha or cloud nine. He doesnt see it as a problem because here its legal butt to me its a problem when he comes in from outside stumbling and slurring and looking hakf in the bag. I know I am a codie so thats probably why he is still here even though I know he shouldnt be. Can anyone give me advise on how to start taking care of me so I can leave him?? Thanjs so much for reading!

Heartbroken0608

I'm very sorry for your situation. The stickies at the top of this forum will provide a lot of insight for you as will just reading through some older posts. Im certain you will find that there are many here who are/were in a similar situation.

My advice? Stick around here, find a meeting (or 2 or 5) to attend - alanon, naranon, families anonymous. The face to face support is invaluable. Read and learn as much as you can. "codependent no more" by Melody Beattie is a great book to start with.

Most importantly, my advice would be to put the needs of your son above all else. Growing up in a home with an addict is extremely detrimental to a child. It sounds like you already know this. You are the only one who can protect your precious baby. He doesnt get a second chance at his childhood. You said he's already showing some issues. The only thing that will change that is to remove him from this unhealthy environment.

There are many on here who have similar stories and will be able to provide support for you. You made a great decision to reach out for help!

LoveMeNow

I am so sorry for your pain. I have to tell you that cloud nine (k2) stuff is very dangerous. It's sold as "not for human consumption." I would NOT want anyone I love around someone who was smoking it. I have heard some horror stories about it and from a very knowledgeable and reliable source.

Read here and as heartbroken said....alanon and naranon are will help you far more than you can imagine.

Please be safe and keep your son safe too. And read supportforme post. Very honest, very painful!!!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ed-spouse.html

Pock89

Welcome!
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I agree with Heartbroken0608...go to meetings! By doing that, you will gain enough strength to make the right decision for both you and your child. That decision will come from within you, and you'll get that ah-ha moment of clarity.
My piece of advice for you is to read, read, read. Hang out on this forum. The people here are amazing, increadible, and caring. And the best part is, we all understand it!
Read the stories that relate to your situation. I know I gained strength from other's experiences/stories. I also found a lot of comfort in knowing that I wasn't alone, I wasn't the only one going through this.

Keep posting. This site is a life saver. If you reach out for help, you'll get it!

Kindeyes

When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, I found the strength and courage to do what I needed to do for me. You will too.

Welcome to SR. You are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke