Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Dubai
Posts: 10
Hi
I have been an addict for 4 years, grew up with three abusive addicts (brothers) and I've tried to quit by myself but it didnt work and only recently did I seek help, right after my father passed away in January of this year I started using 10 times more and things were getting really bad and I was having more and more seizures and so I went to seek treatment and in my country they don't really have any rehabs for females and I don't want to explain the reasoning behind that because I'd have to delve into crap I don't want to. So the professionals I asked for help from tricked me into going to a psychiatric hospital they just left me there with all these mental patients there wasnt even any available beds some of the patients had to sleep in the hallway. The first two days they gave me something for the withdrawl symptoms but it did jackshit it was a sedative and I still couldnt sleep after 2 days they stopped and I was about to hang myself by the 4th day from horrible my withdrawls were they just tied me to the bed and gave me an injection. That place was horrible I don't know how they expect to treat an addict this way..they wouldnt even let me leave finally after threats and crying and screaming for one month they let me go "against medical advice" sign a paper and all that. Did I mention the psychiatrist saw me only once during my one month stay and ignored all my appeals for him to come see me or discharge me? All in all it was a horrible experience and I was traumatized when I got out I was clean and happy to be sober I was hopeful but after a week I was starting to lose it my depression got so much worse Its never been this bad, I feel crushed and hateful of everything and everyone myself especially when I try to talk to someone like my mother they tell me that I did this to myself and that I should just snap out of it ect ect all the crap people that havent been where we are say, I feel hopeless I want to kill myself its all i can thiink about I've had previous suicide attempts and Im trying so hard to stop thinking about it but one day I'll snap and do it, I'm trying to deal with my fathers death and the guilt is killing me I put him to shame, I don't have a support system, I don't have anyone that would give a **** they don't understand they think its easy and how do I explain to them that its not? I ask for help but it just falls on dead ears. I've been shunned out of my community I have no friends, my family disowned me except for my mother my own sisters wont even look at me even though my three brothers are still using they're not treated the way I am because I'm a girl and having a penis exempts you from all sins and responsibilities. I'm sorry for ranting but I wanted to explain the reason why I joined this forum. Support and knowing there are others struggling with this and still standing. I need to know there is hope.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,966
Welcome to SR Yazooii. SR is a great place for support and understanding.
I do know what it is to have hellish drug withdraws. All the horrid symptoms, cold sweats, the shakes, restless legs and a few more disgusting things I'll leave out.
Continued participation here is a great start to your recovery. I use an recovery action plan, do you have one? The plan can be as simple as staying connected to here at SR. Mutual-aid groups like NA or out patient programs can be part of a plan. The links below can also be valuable as a way to learn and practice recovery tools, again another activity to add to a recovery plan.
Good to have you here with us at SR
I do know what it is to have hellish drug withdraws. All the horrid symptoms, cold sweats, the shakes, restless legs and a few more disgusting things I'll leave out.
Continued participation here is a great start to your recovery. I use an recovery action plan, do you have one? The plan can be as simple as staying connected to here at SR. Mutual-aid groups like NA or out patient programs can be part of a plan. The links below can also be valuable as a way to learn and practice recovery tools, again another activity to add to a recovery plan.
Women for Sobriety, Inc.
SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools from cbtrecovery.com
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well.
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (The Advanced Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)]
I recovered from a very nasty lifestyle of addiction and no coping skills to help me to deal with life. You can be recovered too! SOS Recovery and LifeRing Recovery
SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Addiction Recovery Tools from cbtrecovery.com
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health Great tools for maintaining sobriety as well.
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (The Advanced Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)]
Good to have you here with us at SR
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
yazooi, you came here so i dont think you really want to kill yourself, but you dont want to live like you are any more? and want help from people who have been where you are because thay understand and have a solution how to get out from under??? and are willing to do whatever ya gotta do to get and stay clean and sober?
getting sober, clearing away the wreckage of your past, putting in the footwork to change yourself is simple, but no, it isnt that easy. but staying sober and living in today is easy.
let us love you until you can love yourself. yer not a bad person, just sick.
getting sober, clearing away the wreckage of your past, putting in the footwork to change yourself is simple, but no, it isnt that easy. but staying sober and living in today is easy.
let us love you until you can love yourself. yer not a bad person, just sick.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Use this site for support...And call the help number on this site...Or check if they have a meeting near you...Support is a great way at increasing hope.
Welcome to NA in the UAE
Welcome to NA in the UAE
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
I learned a very important thing in my recovery. Most (not all) Psychiatrists write perscriptions first and listen to what's behind the issue second, if at all. Psycologists, on the other hand, while the can perscribe meds, have a greater desire to help with the underlying issues. Any of these 2 professions, I've come across anyway. I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule in both cases.
I've found that being male doesn't necessarily exempt you from judgement, although in your case, it certainly appears to be the case.
What you've gone through, is horrible. I'm sorry that you had to experience such incidences, but there is ALWAYS 2 ways to look at things like this. You can look at them as things that have pulled you down, or things that have made you stronger.
What you said about your immediate family sure resonates with me. My mother has been the only one in mine to support me through my recovery. I've a sister, who after 34 years, still believes I'm drinking. I spent 20 of those 34 trying to get her approval and acceptance, going batty in the process. I finally realized I didn't NEED anyones approval, other than my own. It would have been nice, still would, but the fact is I might never get it, so why agonize over it?
The point is that you need to get better for you, no one else. I think you see that, but I can tell you from personal experience, that it's next to impossible to do on your own.
There's a whole passel of people out there that have experienced what you have. Some one part, some another but they all are champing at the bit, to tell you how they did it. Get yourself into a 12 step program, if you aren't already. We're not, at all, bible thumping individuals, who just sit around drinking coffee, talking about all the drunks we've had. We're world-wide groups of friends that help each other learn how to live, and enjoy living, without drinking or using.
Here's the 90 day guaruntee: Try us for 90 days. Take in 90 meetings in 90 days and if you don't think you can get anything from it, we'll gladly refund all the misery, pain and heartache so that you can go back out and pick up where you left off.
Here's another one: If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value most in life...keep drinking/using...you will.
You're going in the right direction
I've found that being male doesn't necessarily exempt you from judgement, although in your case, it certainly appears to be the case.
What you've gone through, is horrible. I'm sorry that you had to experience such incidences, but there is ALWAYS 2 ways to look at things like this. You can look at them as things that have pulled you down, or things that have made you stronger.
What you said about your immediate family sure resonates with me. My mother has been the only one in mine to support me through my recovery. I've a sister, who after 34 years, still believes I'm drinking. I spent 20 of those 34 trying to get her approval and acceptance, going batty in the process. I finally realized I didn't NEED anyones approval, other than my own. It would have been nice, still would, but the fact is I might never get it, so why agonize over it?
The point is that you need to get better for you, no one else. I think you see that, but I can tell you from personal experience, that it's next to impossible to do on your own.
There's a whole passel of people out there that have experienced what you have. Some one part, some another but they all are champing at the bit, to tell you how they did it. Get yourself into a 12 step program, if you aren't already. We're not, at all, bible thumping individuals, who just sit around drinking coffee, talking about all the drunks we've had. We're world-wide groups of friends that help each other learn how to live, and enjoy living, without drinking or using.
Here's the 90 day guaruntee: Try us for 90 days. Take in 90 meetings in 90 days and if you don't think you can get anything from it, we'll gladly refund all the misery, pain and heartache so that you can go back out and pick up where you left off.
Here's another one: If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value most in life...keep drinking/using...you will.
You're going in the right direction
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Yazooii 
I didnt even know they had NA meetings in the UAE thank you I really appreciate it
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,966
Originally Posted by Sapling
Use this site for support...And call the help number on this site...Or check if they have a meeting near you...Support is a great way at increasing hope.
Welcome to NA in the UAE
Welcome to NA in the UAE
Good looking out Sapling.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 164
Hi Yazooii,
Please know that you have people that care about you here on SR. Some of us may be half way around the world, but we can all relate to your struggles with addiction. I am so sorry to hear about your past abuse and the fact that you don't have much support at all from your family. No one should be treated the way you were in that hospital (if you want to call it that), and you are right that men and women should be treated equally with respect. Whenever you feel frustrated or at the end of your rope, don't give up, we are here for you!
Please know that you have people that care about you here on SR. Some of us may be half way around the world, but we can all relate to your struggles with addiction. I am so sorry to hear about your past abuse and the fact that you don't have much support at all from your family. No one should be treated the way you were in that hospital (if you want to call it that), and you are right that men and women should be treated equally with respect. Whenever you feel frustrated or at the end of your rope, don't give up, we are here for you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi and welcome yazooii
Please do save this link in case you feel low again - there's not only things to read but a lot of numbers - international ones - for support and hotlines etc
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
Not all Doctors are the same either - do you think it might be worth trying to see a different one specifically about your depression?
D
Please do save this link in case you feel low again - there's not only things to read but a lot of numbers - international ones - for support and hotlines etc
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
Not all Doctors are the same either - do you think it might be worth trying to see a different one specifically about your depression?
D
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Yazooii,
I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to find treatment in the UAE. You have cultural obstacles and stigmas working against you that many of us in the 'West' don't have to face. One thing I might suggest is that I know there is a sizeable ex-pat community of 'Westerners' working in the UAE and I am sure there are 12 step meetings such as AA and NA serving this community. Have you considered this approach?
I can't imagine how difficult it is for you to find treatment in the UAE. You have cultural obstacles and stigmas working against you that many of us in the 'West' don't have to face. One thing I might suggest is that I know there is a sizeable ex-pat community of 'Westerners' working in the UAE and I am sure there are 12 step meetings such as AA and NA serving this community. Have you considered this approach?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Dubai
Posts: 10
I haven't thought about it thank you for the suggestion but I wouldnt even know where to start looking. Everything is kept discreet here because everything is taboo.. I noticed a few expats in the NA meeting and they were all so nice but I was too shy to say much.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Just keep going...That's payback enough for me...I just like to see you have hope. And don't be a stranger here. Nice job Yazooii...The more comfortable you are there...The less shy you will be.
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