90 in 90
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 146
90 in 90
Quick question for experienced 12-steppers. This "90 in 90" thing. When I first came into AA (which is only 45 days ago!), it seemed cruel and masochistic. Of course, how insane is that--hello, what is drinking yourself into a stupor? Kind and caring?
I'm wondering if any of you did the 90-90, 30-30, or any variation? What did it do for you? My sponsor is a tolerant person--not given to making strict demands and she suggested at least 3 a week, ideally more. I'm feeling myself drift these days and as I drift, I start thinking "I don't need to go to 3 meetings, certainly not more than 3." So I manage 3 for a while, then cut down to 2 to 1 to...er...nothing. Which is where I'm at now. I thought that maybe I should do one everyday for a while. I heard a guy say once that doing one a day helped him get himself into the mindset of AA and deal with the voice in his head that's always arguing and resisting. Right now everything in me rebels. I want to be left alone and detest the idea of going to meetings where, horror upon horrors, I may have to talk to people and share my own experience. All I want to do is hang out with my sweet pitbull, flop onto my couch with a book, watch tv, and maybe call a friend.... I am incredibly immature!
Anyway, I'm wondering what your experience is.
Zorah
I'm wondering if any of you did the 90-90, 30-30, or any variation? What did it do for you? My sponsor is a tolerant person--not given to making strict demands and she suggested at least 3 a week, ideally more. I'm feeling myself drift these days and as I drift, I start thinking "I don't need to go to 3 meetings, certainly not more than 3." So I manage 3 for a while, then cut down to 2 to 1 to...er...nothing. Which is where I'm at now. I thought that maybe I should do one everyday for a while. I heard a guy say once that doing one a day helped him get himself into the mindset of AA and deal with the voice in his head that's always arguing and resisting. Right now everything in me rebels. I want to be left alone and detest the idea of going to meetings where, horror upon horrors, I may have to talk to people and share my own experience. All I want to do is hang out with my sweet pitbull, flop onto my couch with a book, watch tv, and maybe call a friend.... I am incredibly immature!
Anyway, I'm wondering what your experience is.
Zorah
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
My experience was this. When I got sober, the "90 in 90" was just starting to
be heard around AA and it came from some 'treatment centers.' Well I asked
my sponsor about it and she said, "it can't hurt, give it a try."
So I did, however, I was so anal that I figured if 90 in 90 was good then maybe
more was better, lol I managed about 10 meetings a week, adding in addition
to my nightly meetings a Saturday Morning and a Sunday Morning meeting and
at Midnight on Saturday Nights a Candlelight meeting.
So at the end of 90 days I had done approximately 130 or so meetings.
Did it help? I personally believe for me it did. It got me into a NEW HABIT of
attending meetings EVERY DAY. It got me feeling more and more SAFE in
meetings. It set the stage for me, as the fog lifted and the mush cleared out
of my brain, that this was a habit I LIKED. Hearing all the things I heard in
all those meetings, it also made me more receptive to do the steps.
I admit, I was a very sick cookie when I found AA. I had already died, I was
very far gone, and even though the booze was gone, I was an absolute basket
case.
It also helped me to set up and actual 'schedule' for me to live by, and in
those early days I did need a schedule badly, lol I had a certain time I had to
get up, shower, walk my dog, get ready for work. Go to work. After work,
come home, walk the dog, grab a bite to eat, go to my meeting, maybe go
to coffee afterwards, maybe not, come home and walk the dog and get to
bed as work was tomorrow. (Unless I had an insomnia night, then I stayed
up and read the BB). Weekends, in addition to those extra meetings, were
to do grocery shopping and clean the house on Saturday. Then Sunday,
after the Breakfast meeting,was a day for fun with other sober alkies.
So did that 90 in 90 help me. Yep it sure did. Helped me to find some new
'habits' to replace those nasty ones I had those years and years of drinking.
Give it a shot, it cannot hurt you.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
be heard around AA and it came from some 'treatment centers.' Well I asked
my sponsor about it and she said, "it can't hurt, give it a try."
So I did, however, I was so anal that I figured if 90 in 90 was good then maybe
more was better, lol I managed about 10 meetings a week, adding in addition
to my nightly meetings a Saturday Morning and a Sunday Morning meeting and
at Midnight on Saturday Nights a Candlelight meeting.
So at the end of 90 days I had done approximately 130 or so meetings.
Did it help? I personally believe for me it did. It got me into a NEW HABIT of
attending meetings EVERY DAY. It got me feeling more and more SAFE in
meetings. It set the stage for me, as the fog lifted and the mush cleared out
of my brain, that this was a habit I LIKED. Hearing all the things I heard in
all those meetings, it also made me more receptive to do the steps.
I admit, I was a very sick cookie when I found AA. I had already died, I was
very far gone, and even though the booze was gone, I was an absolute basket
case.
It also helped me to set up and actual 'schedule' for me to live by, and in
those early days I did need a schedule badly, lol I had a certain time I had to
get up, shower, walk my dog, get ready for work. Go to work. After work,
come home, walk the dog, grab a bite to eat, go to my meeting, maybe go
to coffee afterwards, maybe not, come home and walk the dog and get to
bed as work was tomorrow. (Unless I had an insomnia night, then I stayed
up and read the BB). Weekends, in addition to those extra meetings, were
to do grocery shopping and clean the house on Saturday. Then Sunday,
after the Breakfast meeting,was a day for fun with other sober alkies.
So did that 90 in 90 help me. Yep it sure did. Helped me to find some new
'habits' to replace those nasty ones I had those years and years of drinking.
Give it a shot, it cannot hurt you.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 464
Over 22 years ago, I did a 90 in 90. I met a real BB sponsor on my 90th day and haven't had a drink since. 90 in 90 is not the program, some folks bash it. I am thankful I was cognizant enough to take this suggestion
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,242
For me, it was suggested that if I went to
any lengths to drink, then, if I wanted to
stay sober each day then I should go to
any lengths to stay sober. Whatever it takes
for me. And I did many many meetings
with 2 little ones, husband, marriage, the
works while incorperating the tools and
knowledge of a recovery program to live
by for a many one days at a time to get
me where I am today. 21 yrs. sober.
And that is how it has worked for me.
My recovery journey continues with gratitude,
blessings, and promises coming true as stated
to us in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It can be for you too.
any lengths to drink, then, if I wanted to
stay sober each day then I should go to
any lengths to stay sober. Whatever it takes
for me. And I did many many meetings
with 2 little ones, husband, marriage, the
works while incorperating the tools and
knowledge of a recovery program to live
by for a many one days at a time to get
me where I am today. 21 yrs. sober.
And that is how it has worked for me.
My recovery journey continues with gratitude,
blessings, and promises coming true as stated
to us in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It can be for you too.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
We're all our own person, respectively, and so finding each our own workable realistic schedule is the best choice, in my past experience. Going as often as you honestly can makes the best sense for early sobriety, yeah? Making yourself go, and not "being there" in the present moment, being distracted with personal issues, etc., won't be much help, no matter if you go twice a day...
It's what happens at a meeting which is important and valuable, not how many times you physically make a showing. As well, the fellowship after the meeting is way important too. Sharing friendships at coffee meetings, and getting to know others, working with others, are important experiences within AA even though these don't happen at the actual official AA meeting usually.
Think quality before quantity. This motto has always served me well.
It's what happens at a meeting which is important and valuable, not how many times you physically make a showing. As well, the fellowship after the meeting is way important too. Sharing friendships at coffee meetings, and getting to know others, working with others, are important experiences within AA even though these don't happen at the actual official AA meeting usually.
Think quality before quantity. This motto has always served me well.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 449
I've yet to do a 90 and 90. When I first showed up at AA it was recommended, but I had ASAP counseling as well and that interfered with one meeting a week. I had no real life. I had a job, during the week I went to AA, ASAP, then home to sleep. On weekends I went to meetings and did yard work at my sponsors house. This went on for a year. Some weekends I went to 2 - 3 meetings on Saturday and Sunday.
Year two was a bit more of the same. Somewhere between year 2-3 I copped a resentment and didn't go for a month or more. I got woke up from that.
Since then, I've been hitting at least 2 meetings per week PLUS working with other alcoholics through the Big Book.
Year two was a bit more of the same. Somewhere between year 2-3 I copped a resentment and didn't go for a month or more. I got woke up from that.
Since then, I've been hitting at least 2 meetings per week PLUS working with other alcoholics through the Big Book.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by zorah 
I want to be left alone and detest the idea of going to meetings where, horror upon horrors, I may have to talk to people and share my own experience.
I came close to 90 in 90, I didn't make it and yet God didn't come down and strike me drunk, LOL...
The idea behind going to a lot of meetings is precisely aimed at what you don't, yet, want to do... to meet people, share your experience, help others, not isolate, all that... in other words, to get recovered!
Can't hurt... and by doing so, you'll have a better chance of finding those meetings that have the qualities you need in a meeting. Then you'll have a home group.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,969
I hit 3 meetings a day this time around as I couldn't trust myself and I was very lonely. 4 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday as I don't have a vehicle.
Then I started to get to know people. They got to know me. I started talking here and there, usually before or after a meeting. I met a few people who kept me sober for a while.
On day 12, at the noon meeting, I met my first sponsor. That was the time that all of those meetings helped me out the most--finding a sponsor who could guide me through the steps.
After that, I still hit as many meetings as I could. I liked those people. I had made friends. Then I had to change sponsors.
It was suggested to me that I commit to a specific number of meetings. We are notorious for not meeting our commitments. Sponsor started to work with me on the big book. Things made sense. Sometimes I made more meetings than my commitment.
I asked this sponsor about the 90 in 90 and I was told that they didn't work that way, if they wanted me to go to 90 in 90, then they better be willing to go with me so things could be discussed more thoroughly (I have questions, you know).
As it turned out, this sponsor had been helping me get to literature meetings in different places anyway, and we would discuss things on the ride home. It all turned out nicely.
Some people say "I drank daily, I get to a meeting daily."
This sponsor suggested that the steps, not the meetings, are the program of recovery. They are to help me obtain a conscious contact with a power greater than me.
I was asked, "What are you going to do if a meeting isn't available and you are relying on the meetings for your sobriety?" Hmmmm.
Everyone is different. Each person's journey is personal.
Then I started to get to know people. They got to know me. I started talking here and there, usually before or after a meeting. I met a few people who kept me sober for a while.
On day 12, at the noon meeting, I met my first sponsor. That was the time that all of those meetings helped me out the most--finding a sponsor who could guide me through the steps.
After that, I still hit as many meetings as I could. I liked those people. I had made friends. Then I had to change sponsors.
It was suggested to me that I commit to a specific number of meetings. We are notorious for not meeting our commitments. Sponsor started to work with me on the big book. Things made sense. Sometimes I made more meetings than my commitment.
I asked this sponsor about the 90 in 90 and I was told that they didn't work that way, if they wanted me to go to 90 in 90, then they better be willing to go with me so things could be discussed more thoroughly (I have questions, you know).
As it turned out, this sponsor had been helping me get to literature meetings in different places anyway, and we would discuss things on the ride home. It all turned out nicely.
Some people say "I drank daily, I get to a meeting daily."
This sponsor suggested that the steps, not the meetings, are the program of recovery. They are to help me obtain a conscious contact with a power greater than me.
I was asked, "What are you going to do if a meeting isn't available and you are relying on the meetings for your sobriety?" Hmmmm.
Everyone is different. Each person's journey is personal.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
i had heard the 90 in 90 while still in a fog. it didnt really matter iffen i heard it or not. i wanted what everyine in them meeting had and was willing to do whatever it was to get it. i coulda did 180 in 90, but goin to meeting and not drinkin doesnt treat alcoholism.
i didnt make 90 in 90, but i do recall 15 in 7 days in that period. yeah, i was a wreck.
i didnt make 90 in 90, but i do recall 15 in 7 days in that period. yeah, i was a wreck.
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
Think quality before quantity. This motto has always served me well.
However at 45 days, you might need to force yourself a little bit more, as from your post, you're not going to any.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 32
for me, i needed a meeting everyday. sometimes i thought it was getting a bit silly, but if i didn't go, i wouldn't feel right. and i formed great friendships. what's one hour out of the day or night compared to all the hours we were drinking/using? you should definitely at least do 30 and 30. i got some sober time, however i did relapse but that was because i wasn't working the steps. good luck and congrats on 45 days! oh and every time i get sober i just love being a home body.. not a good idea. gotta get yourself out of your head and out of the funk. we need structure. idle time is the devil's playground!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I did a 90 day in-patient rehab and then 6 days a week for the first year. I needed it.
I don't believe that you should only go "when you feel like it" or you won't be present. What you hear , whether you want it or not, will get planted in your headbone and will not be wasted time.
I do believe that a newcomer should do what is suggested to break the "self-will" cycle that we are caught up in.
Your very best thinking and efforts got you to the edge of death and insanity... time to let someone else steer your bus.
I do believe that there are 24 hrs in a day and when I give 1 hr to AA the other 23 go a heck of a lot better.
I believe that in the beginning if we are not in an AA meeting we are trying to figure a way out of going to an AA meeting. That's the disease.
I believe that I have a daily reprieve if I work my program, that quitting drinking is just the beginning.
Zorah, I wish you the best. If you stay close to AA you will get the best.
Ask the oldtimers in your group how they did it.... then do yourself a favor and do what they did.
You will get out of it more than you put in. Someday you will be a sponsor and hold the life of a newcomer in your hand as surely as a heart surgeon holds a life in his hand. Be sure you have the best to hand down to that newcomer.
AA is not a game or a social club, it is life and death. We can't forget that.
All the best to everyone.
Bob R
I don't believe that you should only go "when you feel like it" or you won't be present. What you hear , whether you want it or not, will get planted in your headbone and will not be wasted time.
I do believe that a newcomer should do what is suggested to break the "self-will" cycle that we are caught up in.
Your very best thinking and efforts got you to the edge of death and insanity... time to let someone else steer your bus.
I do believe that there are 24 hrs in a day and when I give 1 hr to AA the other 23 go a heck of a lot better.
I believe that in the beginning if we are not in an AA meeting we are trying to figure a way out of going to an AA meeting. That's the disease.
I believe that I have a daily reprieve if I work my program, that quitting drinking is just the beginning.
Zorah, I wish you the best. If you stay close to AA you will get the best.
Ask the oldtimers in your group how they did it.... then do yourself a favor and do what they did.
You will get out of it more than you put in. Someday you will be a sponsor and hold the life of a newcomer in your hand as surely as a heart surgeon holds a life in his hand. Be sure you have the best to hand down to that newcomer.
AA is not a game or a social club, it is life and death. We can't forget that.
All the best to everyone.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
20.6 years ago I did 90-in-90 and where I live it's still the norm for serious newcomers. I think it helps to substitute one habit (daily drinking) for another (daily meetings) because it was a huge jolt to suddenly have to deal with life without anesthesia. While I've been sober a while denial is always perched on my shoulder so it's two to three meetings/week. I know I have another drink in me but I don't know I have another recovery in me. I doubt it but who knows.
Everything is a suggestion. AA is for people who want it, not for people who need it. When it comes to getting sober, it's not one size fits all, it's what works for the individual.
Everything is a suggestion. AA is for people who want it, not for people who need it. When it comes to getting sober, it's not one size fits all, it's what works for the individual.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 120
IMHO, 90/90 is not a rule, but it's a healthy prescription to follow compared to the other self-prescribed rules I followed (and failed) on my own. I will say in my personal observation most of the long-term recovered people I see in AA strived for the 90/90 and/or met/surpassed that number.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
For about 18 months I did go daily...before work and more on weekends.
I consider it was really positive and gave me a solid base with new friends....
A re location at 3 years ..new job...less abailable meetings...I did drop off
to 1 or 2 ....but kept in AA touch via phone.
These last 12 or so years...back to 2 or 3 weekly....simply because
I wish to continue my AA connection
No I will not drink again nor will I give up AA meetings.
.
I consider it was really positive and gave me a solid base with new friends....
A re location at 3 years ..new job...less abailable meetings...I did drop off
to 1 or 2 ....but kept in AA touch via phone.
These last 12 or so years...back to 2 or 3 weekly....simply because
I wish to continue my AA connection
No I will not drink again nor will I give up AA meetings.
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 146
"I believe that in the beginning if we are not in an AA meeting we are trying to figure a way out of going to an AA meeting. That's the disease." Thanx 2granddaughters for this! I am there. Too much time between meetings often becomes even more time until, eventually, so much time that I can buy that wine on sale at whole foods and ponder when i should attend my next meeting or if i even need to.
right now i'm not feeling much at meetings; just a lot of hell because i'm only an inch ahead of my monkey mind and it's always devising new ways to get me to give in. i'm in so much pain because i don't have my numb-out medicine anymore and the second 30 days are harder than the first 30. i almost bought a bottle of wine tonight and the only way i got through the moment is by telling myself i could drink tomorrow. that helped me to walk away--throwing a banana for the monkey in my head.
so i'm going to try doing these early morning meetings near my apartment.
zorah
right now i'm not feeling much at meetings; just a lot of hell because i'm only an inch ahead of my monkey mind and it's always devising new ways to get me to give in. i'm in so much pain because i don't have my numb-out medicine anymore and the second 30 days are harder than the first 30. i almost bought a bottle of wine tonight and the only way i got through the moment is by telling myself i could drink tomorrow. that helped me to walk away--throwing a banana for the monkey in my head.
so i'm going to try doing these early morning meetings near my apartment.
zorah
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey Zorah!!
Those early days of sobriety certainly do suck, huh? I remember. Don't want to do that again... You are doing well, even if it may not seem like it! Hang in there...
My early days got a whole lot better once I had a meaningful 3rd step experience. I still had some work to do, but once I let go, the edginess left me.... How are you doing there, in the steps? Is there someone you are working with?
Keep posting, you can do this!
Those early days of sobriety certainly do suck, huh? I remember. Don't want to do that again... You are doing well, even if it may not seem like it! Hang in there...
My early days got a whole lot better once I had a meaningful 3rd step experience. I still had some work to do, but once I let go, the edginess left me.... How are you doing there, in the steps? Is there someone you are working with?
Keep posting, you can do this!
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
I didn't do 90/90 because of my work schedule, also I had 30 days clean before I went into AA. I did do about 40 meetings in that time span though, and that was great for me. I still keep going about 3-4 times a week
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 56
From Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers page 192: “Bob said there was the hard way and the easy way. The hard way was just by going to meetings.”
Well since I am in this book,
From page 227
“And it has become increasing clear that the degree of harmonious living which we achieve is in direct ratio to our earnest attempt to follow them [twelve steps] literally under divine guidance to the best of our ability.”
Meetings are great. However; I always remember the steps are the program.
Well since I am in this book,
From page 227
“And it has become increasing clear that the degree of harmonious living which we achieve is in direct ratio to our earnest attempt to follow them [twelve steps] literally under divine guidance to the best of our ability.”
Meetings are great. However; I always remember the steps are the program.
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