irishgirl05

day 3 here and i have no desire to drink, which is really nice. i feel ok physically, good even, although i haven't been very hungry.

also, i am so UNMOTIVATED!! i am usually a very productive person- putting my nose to the grindstone during the week and binging on the weekends... but today i have a ton to do and i don't want to do any of it... just want to lay in bed :\

i'm going to take a shower and a walk to see if that helps. we all know the homework won't do itself, right?!

Threshold

I know this feeling. I call it "waiting for the other shoe to drop", as if my body and mind..and maybe my emotions as well are all saying "Ok, now what?"

When I first got clean, and heard about this "pink cloud" thing, boy oh boy was I ready for it! Bring it on! But I wasn't a pink cloud person. I was clean...and life went on, and my body and mind needed time to adjust and accept the change, and mourn the loss.

I've shared this story on SR before, but I think it's worth sharing again because it was my experience (and continues to be) in a nutshell. It was originally shared with me by a therapist of mine.

There was a young enthusiastic monk in a monestary, he went to the elder and asked "Master, what do I do to become enlightened?"

The Master said "polish your rice bowl"...so the monk did.

Seven years later, looking more serene, he returned to the Master and said "Master, I have reached enlightenment, what do I do?"

And the master said "polish your rice bowl."

I got clean so I could live, fully, richly. Do the day in and day out things ( not so mundane really when I am sober and can appreciate the shine). I got clean to live, so I might be capable of polishing my ricebowl, filling it with good nourishing food, sharing food with my fellows, etc etc.

My addiction was fueled by my seeking that pink cloud. Always thinking I needed more etc...I got clean and was still searching for that pink cloud...for the BANG POW moment. Then I listened and learned that a good bit of life is about the pure simple pleasure of having a rice bowl, tending it, and appreciating the sheen when the Sun hits it just so...

We put ourselves through a great deal of stress while we were using. Our bodies deserve a break. Healing takes place, energy rises. Taking care of ourselves (like you walk and homework) bring us enlightenment.

Anna

It's probably a good idea to be patient with yourself as you adjust to your new sober life.

I wasn't a 'pink cloud' person either and the first few weeks of sobriety were just me making myself accomplish certain things each day. It does get easier as time goes by.

Change4good

Push on through. No way around it, just go through it. :-)

(And I love the ani difranco in your signature line.)

BobGT

Hi irishgirl, it takes your body a while to get used to no alcohol. Alcohol becomes an easy source of energy, so now your body has to adjust to using normal food.

Since you feel ok but just have the blahs, it sounds like you are adjusting well to the change. I'm not a doctor or anything, but hang in there, and hopefully you will get more energy in a day or two.

The most important thing is not to drink. If you drink, you have to start healing all over again. Best wishes.

Fdm

Sometimes a good nap will do wonders.

sugarbear1

I thought it was my brain healing. That "unmotivated feeling" does change in time.

Congratulations on 3 days!!!

miko67

Irish girl its taken me a couple of weeks. Right now im tired and im doing nothing today I went out this morning but that's all I want to do. Rest I think is important. I need t clean up but il leave it till I have a bit more energy. Its a Monday chill, ur gettin healthier!