Luling

As I mentioned in another thread, I have to spend time on Saturday with my sister and her family, and my mom and stepdad. They don't drink, but they make me want to drink. My sister is INSANE. So much tension and drama in their house. Every time we're around them, my husband and I come home and drink the tension away.

So this Saturday, my husband will drink the tension away as soon as we get home, and I'm going to be sorely tempted. I know it's possible to quit when there's another drinker in the house, and I've been fine this week, but I'm worrying about Saturday.

It's hard enough dealing with the people in my own house. My 13-year-old is a highly strong, type A drama queen. My husband is a totally uptight worry-wart who nags, reminds, and repeats himself in case you don't understand the first 100 times he says something.

Since I can't run away from home (or can I? Hmmm....) I need some relaxation tips, please! I'll try anything -- hypnosis, exercise, ****** ...

BillyPilgrim

Luling
For relaxation, the easiest is take deep breaths. Seriously you can go to an expensive shrink and they will say the same

Try other things, go for a walk (not a drive, easier to buy some booze and smuggle it home), I am sure others will come up with suggestions too.

In the early days times like this are triggers , so you are doing right trying to work out how you will confront your triggers.

Billy

Easyrider

Go for a walk maybe?

Luling

SIGH. He just came in with 3 cases of beer and 3 bottles of wine. (I don't drink ... I don't drink ... I don't drink ... I don't drink ...)

It'll be fine. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think it will be.

Elisabeth888

Oh man. I know exactly how you feel. My husband drinks. He keeps all the alcohol in his mancave and in the garage refrigerator. That helps not having it in my face all the time.

Agree on how long you are going to stay at your family's. Make it as brief as possible. There is no reason to put yourself under all that stress if you are newly sober.

How about having all your favorite non-alcoholic beverages on hand. I like freshly brewed ice tea with mint, hot teas, coffee, orange sodas. For some reason the extra sensory of the hot drinks helps me. You will be so glad that you did not drink the next morning.

Try meditation and anything else you find relaxing. Do you have any hobbies? If you don't, get a new one! I bought some water color pencils and some paper and started watching youtube videos as tutorials. It's fun!

San Pellegrino (sp?) blood orange drinks are SO GOOD. They are in cans on the water aisle.

Yogagirl1969

Try to be strong despite your surroundings. because sometimes you cant change what is around you, but you can change your reaction to it. Maybe tell them your trying to get clean and ask them to respect your decision. Maybe take yourself out of the situation and go to a meeting or a library and read a book. take a class on something that interests you and gets your mind off the situation. go to lunch or dinner by yourself. I know for myself I separate myself from anyone who will drink around me. you need a strong connection to people who will encourage and support you. Maybe if it is a situation that is going to trip you up and you know it is going to, maybe you shouldn't spend time with them until you are ready. hope this helps!

artsoul

I had to smile at your first post describing all the "characters" in your life!! Sounds so familiar! Are you the peacemaker? That's always what I was, trying to make everyone happy - I should have resigned from that job a long time ago!

You know, I think we need to see the issues in our lives as a separate issue from the drinking - maybe there are some things you can do to make the visit more tolerable for yourself. Maybe you need to detach more, or honor your own feelings more...... Maybe you need to stay home...... I don't know, but every challenge, as they say, is also an opportunity to grow.....

aeo1313

You don't drink. You don't drink...

Stay your ground, post on here, take a walk, read a book, lock yourself in your room, watch a movie, make a ****** doll

EXM6

Gosh darn you're strong! I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I refuse to go visit my mom because she downs beer after beer, with your husband you don't really seem to have a choice. Mad props to you my dear, that's inspiring.

I know you're on a strict diet, but I would consider not letting non-alcoholic drinks that you really enjoy be a factor into this. At least while you're watching your husband down drink after drink, you are drinking something you LIKE to drink... Instead of sipping on water to limit your calories or whichever reason you may do that for your diet.

As for stress reducing techniques -- I write. I know writing isn't for everyone, but try it out if you don't already do it. Don't limit what you say, GET IT OUT! Definitely the walk going that people are talking about works well. I know listening to music loudly helps me, when I don't have the option of being obnoxious with it, I put in some ear buds. On the one hand, be grateful the people driving you to drink WON'T be drinking and try to deal with them as best as possible and try not to be too envious of your husband as he drinks. Definitely much easier for me to say this to you than actually do... but remember how STRONG you are being, that's something to be PROUD of!

You don't drink.

Luling

Elisabeth -- I actually have some watercolor pencils that I've been meaning to bring out again. I've been wanting to play around with them; it really is fun. Okay, maybe I'll get some tea and so something artsy/crafty. Good suggestions!

ImLearning2Fly

When you get home, look right to these boards for support!!

You won't drink. You will be strong!! Your life sounds like mine (kind of exactly!) except dh takes a percocet or Xanax instead of the drinking. It's hard to watch but you are doing what you are doing for you!!

Maybe meditate or exercise when you get home?

I'll be out of state at our usual vacation spot struggling myself watching others imbibe. I'll just hang with my dd and feel great for what I'm doing for me!!
Oh, and I drink lime seltzer w/ a splash of cranberry!

Sapling

I can't believe he just came in with that much alcohol for himself....These people must be insane....I agree...Limit the stay...Do you have any non drinking friends you can plan something to do with when you get home?...Go out for coffee or a movie or something?

Luling

You mean you can resign from the peacemaker job? LOL! Seriously, it's so draining, isn't it? Oh well, thank goodness they don't drink; I'd have to leave the country.

Luling

I might just take my girls out with me for a while. My son is going to a friend's house, so maybe we girls can go out for some frozen yogurt or smoothies. Then maybe we'll put the 2-year-old in her stroller and go for a walk. I might as well start showing them a good example of healthy ways to de-stress; God knows I've done my part to show them unhealthy ways to de-stress.

Duke10

All sounds like good ideas. I think maybe the ****** thing is best. Let me know how that works out for you I love movies and have been to a few on my own just to pass some bad times. Yeah I am that loser by himself. It does not bother me at all. A lot of us will have long weekends. If you have a smart phone get SR on there and let us know how you are doing.

Sapling

That works.....You don't have to get that healthy....You could make it ice cream with toppings.

Elisabeth888

Amen brother.

Luling

I like the way you think ... I know just the place.

Sapling

Don't we all think alike Luling?

Dee74

Sticking close to SR is a pretty good move too Luling

D