Leemzer

Hi all,
I have been very engrossed with the idea that there is a HUGE difference in simply quitting drinking and being in actual "recovery".

One of the main ideas, I think, however we choose to phrase it, is that we have to learn to "live differently."

For me, and many, if not all of us, this involves having a good deal more time on our hands, or if we are short on time, more sober time with the time we have. Being intoxicated is a very time consuming pursuit, not merely in the time we spend drinking itself, going out, etc, but also in the dreaded suffering period of hangovers, withdrawal, and often depression associated with our actions.

I feel to truly be in recovery you cannot just stop drinking alone, but pick healthy replacement behaviors or you will be faced with this HUGE vacuum of time and unspent energy that could very well take you back down the path to a relapse and full-on drinking again.


For me, I have found that bringing exercise back into my life is HUGE. I have been seriously working out for the past 19 days of my recovery, and I can already see and feel major results. It also feels good to get my body moving and seems to calm my mind.

As for drinking, I am drinking TONS of water and sports drinks because of the exercise. When I would have something alcoholic I have sparkling water or club soda with lime to give a bit of that "bite".

The naps are getting less frequent and shorter for me, because I am finally resting properly at night....for once in YEARS.

I have also been reading more and spending more one-on-one quality time with my kids and wife.

In short, I feel like if we want to be successful, we all need a tool box of replacement bahaviors to turn to when the urge hits us or we feel the old boredom or mindset creeping in....

So........what replacement behaviors are you guys trying? Maybe you have the perfect idea for someone else who feels stagnant right now.

Thanks!
Lee

Paulie1

For me, time dragged by while wasted for 30 years. Now with 3 plus years in recovery, there isn't enough time in the day. Recovery is where it's at and thank you for the post.....

Sapling

I like to go to meetings...Went to a great one this morning....It may sound strange...But being around other alcoholics keeps me sober.

Weasel1966

I am still very new. I know that alternatives is important. I spent my first few relapses convinced there was nothing to do but drink. Oh well might as well go to the bar.

I have broken that mindset in that I can see when it is happening. That's when this list is needed.

I started writing again. Looking into an art class. Love going to dinner so have gone to new places each of the last few weekends.

I bought a really cool life fitness treadmill. I try to use that when walking outside is not possible.

I go to walk the west side parks of NYC. They are beautifully kept and fun to people watch.

The strengh I get from SR is vital to me. Knowing so many fears and issues are common to being an alcoholic reassure me that recovery is possible. Each in our own way but still all together.

Thanks for the post.

EXM6

I'm just in the beginning after totally tearing my life apart... Day 2 and with how overwhelming the future looks trying to piece everything together... I am having the hardest time to do even the smallest chores.

Ive decided to be patient with myself... As long as I'm not drinking at this point, WHO CARES what I'm doing or not doing. Today I picked doing some laundry and making my daughter and I a great meal are a good place to start. I've always been extremely ambitious so it's weird for me to have this much trouble with the simplest tasks. I know this isn't a good long term goal -- you're definitely right about substituting healthy habits for the bad ones we're walking away from. I'd like to start getting physically active as well and make my life about healthy living. I know I have to do things I enjoy, alongside getting my life together or it will feel a lot harder than it really is.

Thanks for this post -- it's something to definitely think about.

bryangt

I enjoy doing outdoor work...you get a sense of achievement when you get projects accomplished. I never enjoyed reading much, but now I try to read recovery related subjects to keep me aware & learning.

Godzilla

Exercise is huge as well as gardening and reading. 3 things that I have not done much of over the last year or so.

HitRockBottom70

Hey Lee,
Love the post!
I am picking up an extra 12 hour shift each week. I agree keeping yourself occupied makes you much less likely to relapse. The 12 hour shifts are very draining though and I have not started my exercise program yet. I know I need to. I was toying with the idea of signing up for a sprint triathlon (mini triathlon) later in the year. It will give me a goal to train for.
Good luck everyone and I will love to read what everyone is doing when I get home later tomorrow morning.

badatbooze

Lots of gardening. Planting food everywhere! Good fun and very rewarding

Tuitiefruitie

Well...I've finally stopped making my son go looking for cushions for my patio furniture. I still haven't gotten any, but I don't feel the need to walk aimlessly around the stores looking at cushions to let the cravings pass. He is most thankful. lol

OCDDan

Good post Leemzer, you are right, i should work on the reason i drank in the first place, even tho just not drinking has made me ten times happier than when i drank, i do know in the back of my mind i should be working on myself, thanks for bringing that up.

Tippingpoint

One of the first things that I took on when I quit last June was training to run a marathon. I didn't want to just complete a marathon...I wanted to run it in a time that I could be proud of if I ended up never running another one. I quit on June 13th and the Marathon that I ran was in the middle of October - just enough time. On race day I completed the run in 3 hours, 27 minutes - a time that I'm proud of.

During all that training I got myself down to 175 pounds - territory I hadn't experienced since about grade 12! I vowed to stay in that neighbourhood - this morning I was 179.

Getting lighter and getting fitter was a kickstart to my squash game - I played at a pretty high level before I quit drinking but I've upped my game substantially since quitting...at 43 I'm a better player now than ever previously.

I've devoted my time at work to actually being really good at what I do. I've grown a great deal professionally over the last year and am working for and asking for promotions...something I never thought I deserved in the past.

And, I spend oodles of time with my two boys. I'm a much better father than I was.

lilac0721

I found myself feeling angry and very frustrated at work. I thought about drinking, but instead finished the priorities on my to-do list for work and came home a bit early to check SR. Then I went to the gym (second time today, but hey better than drinking).

I am currently winding down, going to read and am sipping a fruit-flavored sparkling water. Refreshing.

tomsteve

i always have something to do. one great thing about being sober is i no longer get bored, but i can get lazy. i never was lazy when i drank, mainly because i was too busy running from myself. but i'm good with it. this broken down body needs more rest than it used to.

Leemzer

Also, trying to mix up my work outs more between morning and evening. Don't go a ton in the morning because I already have to be at work early, but the times I do go it is nice to have a great workout done for the day.

oh2exhale

Great topic! Things I do different now- wake up and turn it over to God. Read a meditation, something out of AA. Go to meetings. Make a "to do " list. Make a "wish" list. Treat myself to something like an ice cream, a massage, a facial, a movie rental a latte, etc. Have gratitude for my "treat". I am grateful for a sober life!! Keep it simple!

flutter

I did everything I could to fill up my time.. reading, working out, movies, video games etc.. but over time and as I worked on recovery I became more and more at peace with myself and didn't need a literal distraction from drinking.. I could just be with myself. I have no idea (now) how on earth I had so much time to drink, there's so many other things to do even if it's a whole bunch of nothing.. but it took a while for 'nothing' to be ok.

WingsFan13

I have replaced my love of beer with Revive Kombucha - revive drinks

It's been a great substitute. Has a nice fizz to it, super healthy and tastes a heck of a lot better. It's become my new "reward" on Fridays after a had week of work

Fdm

Cheerwine and Sundrop.

sugarbear1

Vacuuming, dusting and helping inside of the house will help the spouse and teach the children that "if ya make it dirty, ya know how to clean it" and it will do wonders for your marriage....

Stay strong!! Stay stopped!