SoaringSpirits

Yesterday I saw my counselor. She specializes in addiction and codependency. She is a straight shooter, and sometimes I find it hard to hear the truth.

What I learned yesterday is that I'm a "rescuer" in codependent terms. I grew up with two great parents who were not alcoholics and who have done a lot of counseling themselves and are, in general, very healthy people. So here I was thinking that *I* did not grow up in an alcoholic family, my husband did!

But....I learned I DID grow up in the "family disease" of alcoholism. I had an older brother who had serious a drug and alcohol addiction and caused my parents (and me indirectly) years of heartache. I fell into the role of "good kid" and the "rescuer" who could give them solace and support.

The counselor pointed out how I took this role into my marriage. My husband was always unsure of himself, and I was always in the confident "Don't worry baby, we'll figure it out!" role. Over the years, I wearied of always being the confident one who assured him it would all turn out OK.

That was a lightbulb moment yesterday, my "rescuer" role in the whole codependent thing. I left the session with a much clearer understanding of some of the dynamics of my marriage, and this HUGE weight just suddenly lifted from me for the first time in several years. It was a profound experience.

So here's where my Higher Power comes in. I got into the car, and the song "Faith" by George Michael was playing. I have never paid attention to the lyrics before, but yesterday, it was like they were coming at me with such clarity. I laughed, and drove along with a much lighter heart.

Yeah, I've got to have faith, faith, faith! I swear, it was like my HP was sitting there with me:

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you
Oh, but I've got to think twice
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them too
Oh but I
Need some time off from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man, baby
But I'm showing you the door
'Cause I gotta have faith...

Oooo I gotta have faith. I gotta have faith, faith, faith,
I gotta have faith, faith, faith,

Ah, baby
I know you're asking me to stay
Say please, please, please, don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues
Maybe
You mean every word you say
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to loverboy rules
Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
Yes I've gotta have faith...

(Chorus)

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Windmills

Ah I introduced my daughter to this song today too, I was singing along having an AHA! moment too. Small world
I'm pleased your session went so well, it's amazing when something just 'clicks' isn't it?

Lilmssunshine

Thats crazy because its SUCH an upbeat happy sounding song lol. I never actually listened to the words. Its perfect for you! This cracked me up.

LifeRecovery

I am not sure I could believe in a Higher Power that did not enjoy 80s cheese.

I had a similar experience to Never Surrender by Rick Springsteen years ago and it still holds a tender place in my being.

What a wonderful experience when the puzzle pieces come together. Being congruent always helps me to be more present.

lillamy

But of course. My HP likes 80s music, too.

Fathom

I LOVE IT! I'm gonna have to rummage through my cassette tapes for that one. What a great theme song.

Thanks for such an uplifting share!