helpless26

Hi everyone. I have gotten up the courage to talk to my friend and let her know how I am feeling. It has taken to long as far as I'm concerned...(2weeks). She is my best girlfriend and we have been very close for 26yrs. I am scared to death at how she will react, but I can no longer "pretend" that I don't know what she is doing (especially since she has a small child). I am not a "betting" person at all, but I am willing to put our friendship on the line because I love her and hope she comes to realize that is why I need to do this. I KNOW that I cannot "fix" her or "make" her get help.....BUT what I can do is let her know how "I" feel.

I used to belong to an Al-anon group years ago when I was married to an A, so I still have both of my books..One day at a time in Al-anon and Courage to Change. I have been looking through them and reading and I do honestly know that there is nothing I can do for her......and that this is all out of my hands, but I am still scared.

akalacha

(((helpless))) Yes, it's very scary to realize we are powerless over alcohol, we are powerless to change another person. But in some ways it is very liberating too. It is up to the A to want to find change for themselves. And it is up to us to take care of ourselves. Thanks for sharing, please keep reading & posting.

Tuffgirl

Good for you for pulling out the readers and giving it some time and lots of thought. Having these kinds of conversations are always scary, even for the most practiced person. Be kind and understanding but firm with your boundaries and you will be ok!

Keep us posted! Prayers,
~T

helpless26

Hey again. So, I talked to her (my friend). She was not mad. I was very surprised. She stated that she wasn't trying to "hide" anything and that I knew that she did drink...which I do but I know she is more of a "functioning" alcoholic now. I did not argue with her, as I know it is not and was not what I wanted to do anyway. I just wanted her to "know" that I knew. I agreed with her that yes, I knew that she drank beer.
My personal feeling on the whole issue........she is in 100% denial. BUT as I know, have learned, and what my books say.......I need to 'LET IT GO'. I did what I could, told her how I felt and now all I can do is pray that she thinks about what I said and something "clicks". I now do not have to feel total guilt if God forbid something happens. It was a HUGE weight off of my shoulders, but the hardest part of this all..........not doing anything more.