john44

and I'm an alcoholic. Hurting badly..relapsing and terrified of the withdrawals I know I'll have to endure. AA has helped in the past and I'll go to a meeting tomorrow. Need some support and kind words now though. God bless you all.

Sapling

Welcome to SR John...Probably should hit a doctor before you hit a meeting....Don't play around with detoxing on your own...There is some great support here...Glad you're here.

2granddaughters

I'm going to a meeting tomorrow too, John. It's kept me sober for a long time.

Go to the meetings regularly to get sober, stay sober and grow.

All the best to you.

Bob R

Anna

Welcome John,

I know you will find lots of support here and I'm glad you found us. Talking to a dr is a good idea, too.

john44

hi sapling. I've been through detox quite a few times. I haven't been drinking long enough this time to need detox, but I know that I'll suffer.

it really ticks me of. I had some good sobriety time, was feeling better, now this. I hate alcohol.

Dispatches

Welcome John,

This place is great, its good you're here.

We have all been where you are at right now, and we got through it with support from others. I'll say a prayer for you.

Sapling

As long as you're OK with it...I hate alcohol too...Kicked my ass for 35 years. I went to my first meeting in July of last year and haven't had a drink since...Go to meetings...Get a sponsor...Work the steps...Simple as that.

artsoul

Welcome John!

Sorry you're hurting right now - I hope detox isn't too bad for you. Coming here and reading really helped me get through the first few days. Glad you've joined us - hang in there.....:ghug3

Firehazard

Hi John, Those withdrawls you are worrying about pass and can be managed. It does get better but the drinking will only make it worse. AA sounds like a great idea.

Hevyn

Hi John. We've all been there, and we feel for you. Once you get the poison out of your system, you never have to go back there again. I have 4 yrs. after drinking a huge chunk of my life away. I never thought it could be possible - life without alcohol - but it's wonderful. You can have your life back, too.

Keep reading and posting - we care about you & want to help. I'm so glad you joined us - you're not alone anymore.

john44

My God. Thank you so very much. This is how my aa meetings were a few weeks ago. Total love, total acceptance.

I pray constantly. I love God and know that He does provide miracles. I need one now.

Danica2011

Hi John, you've come to the right place. These people on these walls are wonderful. You will get support and learn more than you ever have about this disease. Everyone here is on your side. Feels good just knowing that you're not alone. I have two weeks today and am feeling really good! Best of luck and keep coming in here.

john44

thank you Danica. This is a horrible disease and it is comforting to know I'm not alone. I'm scared and shaking now. Been there before...ill get through it.

Scolova

You only have to go through detox once... you know it just gets worse.
Keep journal about what you are going through, it really helps keep your mind set on recovery, can also help if you struggle with thoughts\words at the Dr. office or meeting.
I drank lots of sweet tea early on, helped with the compulsion of just having a drink in my hand, plus the sugar helps during withdraw.
Wish you the best.

desertsong

John, promise me that you'll go the ER or urgent care if you start feeling really bad. Detox is dangerous no matter how much/little you've been drinking. Don't take any chances, please.

Yes, alcoholism sucks. I hate it. You are definitely NOT alone. Hang in there, buddy. Get the help you need and come to us for support. We've all been where you are ... some of us even worse than where you're at. You can do this.

Dee74

Hi again John

I still recommend seeing a Dr - not to scare you but my last detox (after 20 years of detoxing without apparent ill effect) was a doozy.

Not saying it will happen to you of course, but why not play it safe?

D

keepfinding2

Hey John,
Best of luck to you. I'm sending good vibes your way even though I don't write on here much.

InsertNameHere

Hey John,

Read some of your other posts and just wanted to say here is one more person hoping you the best.

Itchy

Good start John,
Regardless of whether you go to a doc or not, which I also recommend, if you are still able to decide not to see a doc get to the meeting. I can imagine what you feel like. How? Because I relapsed every day for the last two years I drank from the moment I woke up until I passed out 18 hours later or so. My Doc and the VA Doc helped me get into a 7 day in hospital detox which finally ended the daily oath to stop . . . tomorrow.

That was 19 months ago. Never again. I am a normal drinker in my mind now, but will never fall for that self delusion. See, alcohol changed my body to crave more of it, yet left my mind thinking I was still in control. So I can never drink again, and now the cravings are gone. I actually never think about alcohol except when I am here. My wife still drinks and I don't even see her drink as a "DRINK" because I don't do it anymore. She is a two drink a night person, I wasn't for the last ten years before it got really bad.

I did not want to get sober to be healthy enough to drink again. Or to get a spouse or legal system off my butt for awhile. I quit for me, once, and for all. Make this time your's too.

Thus my saying: "I loved alcohol when it was voluntary, not when it became mandatory."

john44

[QUOTE=Itchy;3381625

Thus my saying: "I loved alcohol when it was voluntary, not when it became mandatory."[/QUOT

Love that. Surviving.