WarriorQueen

I have been attending AA for 2 days (3 meetings, my 4th is soon.) And I'm a little lost. What do I do?

awuh1

When you feel lost, ask for direction, just as you’re now doing

Keep an open mind

Listen

Be as honest as you’re able to be

Relate your story to others, don’t compare it

Keep an open mind… did I already mention that?

Notabobblehead

Welcome to you! When I came into the fellowship I was really nervous and pretty confused.

It takes a little time for it to make sense. You are off to a great start 4 meetings in 2 to 3 days. You are building a foundation.

If you are able to get there a little early and or stay late you will get to meet some people. This helps to get comfortable and a great time to ask questions.

Most pamphlets are free and available at meetings. Two good ones when you are just starting out: This is AA and Questions & Answers on Sponsorship.

Hope we continue hearing from you!

newby1961

WQ

I agree 100% with NABH the pamphlet on sponsorship is great. There is also the Big Book where the first 164 pages teach us about alcoholism being a disease and the steps one should take. There is also a link through here where you can get all this info free.

I would say for now just keep going to meetings every day and let them know you are a newcomer.

Be gentle with your self because your mind, body & spirit have been through the ringer and it is going to take some time for you to even out. Try telling yourself each day

Lastly stay in touch on here and let people know you it will help a lot as it has helped me and countless others I know.

Boleo

All you gotta do is go to page 112 of the Big Book and read the first three words at the top of the page.

Firehazard

Start a thread in the forum: Newcomers daily support thread here on SR. This will get you involved while you are making contacts in AA.

Also try to get a home group, one meeting that you will go back to every week no matter what, and get numbers from all of those in attendance.

Of course Boleos suggestion of the reading the first three words on the page of 112 I would do.

jojoba

Do a 30 in 30 and read one page of the BB everyday.

Charmie

hey there...lovely to meet you and glad you are with us...for me when i got stuck into AA my life changed in ways i could never have imagined...I....changed in ways i could have never imagined!
stick close to ladies that look genuinely happy in their own skin and talk about the solution to alcoholism as contained in the big book...the steps.the ladies that are recovered will approach you and offer you this help.

UpperbucksAAguy

Read the Big Book. I would suggest you go to the chapter We Agnostics and read the first paragraph and answer the questions

sugarbear1

I went to meetings and listened. I tried to talk to at least one other female each meeting. I got other women's phone numbers. I let the group know I was new.

I called these women in the evening or between meetings. I met them at a specific meeting. I got more phone numbers and used them. I hung out for coffee after a meeting. We started to get to know each other. I formed a network of sober women whom I could call.

I kept listening during meetings. I'm never alone, no matter who I call. I still keep my network of women and I keep in touch regularly. I keep going to meetings.

Call someone if you want to drink. Work the little parts of the program and practice them regularly. You can pray that your sponsor show up in your life.

I wanted everything to change over night. I didn't end up in AA over night, nothing will change that fast, either.

Keep coming back!

DayTrader

I'll share what I did after about 3 meetings: I never raised my hand as a new person. Didint' want anyone to know I was new. Nice Mike.....start AA out lying on day 1. I soon started noticing that a lot of the ppl in the meetings weren't big shooters........they weren't rich......they didn't read all that well......lots of them never went to college......they seemed to have dull lives even though they seemed to be grateful for them (the poor fools.....they were too dumb to know they were missing out - I thought). Mostly, I started noticing I was a cut above those folks and that they couldn't possibly have anything to teach Magnificent Me.

Shortly after those revelations it also occurred to me my drinking wasn't really THAT bad and so long as I stayed off the roads, it wouldn't be a problem.

8 months later I scored DUI #3 (and hadn't been to court for DUI2 yet - which judges have NO sense of humor for). Back for a couple meetings.....started to notice nothing had changed. Same dopes, same dumb stories......but I kept going to meetings. Oh....and I kept drinking too. See, going to meetings won't do $hit if you're not working the steps/program. You can go to 3 a day in my area NO problem.....do that for 90 days if you want to.....cover 270 meetings in 3 months. If you don't engage in the recovery PROCESS though, I suspect those meetings will have the same efficacy for you that they had for me: nil. So, I kept going to meetings and kept drinking......did that death-roll for about 5 or 6 months.

SO......what TO do? The opposite of just about everything I did. LOL.

Try not to judge, try to keep an open mind and heart (and if you can't...know that that's a danger sign so pray to anything out there to keep you open....and willing.......). Announce that you're new.....just say your first name. PPl will clap. If anyone comes up to you after the meeting to say hi or talk......try really hard to remember their faces. Chances are they're pretty solid members and they're working the 12th step right in front of you. Sit with hem and listen to what they're saying. If you have to, pass at tables.......better to listen closely than sit for 30 min worrying about what you're going to say to impress everyone. Start asking ppl you like who they'd recommend as a sponsor...then shadow those folks. Listen to them when they're talking at a table/meeting. You're looking for a guide through the program.....you're gonna want someone with some experience. And if someone just comes up and says they'll sponsor you without you asking them.....say thanks, sounds great. Usually it's just the really strong members who do that.

And if you can (this was really reeeeally hard for me), try to relax and have some fun. Recovery is tough work sometimes so try to have some fun along the way.

Tommyh

one of the best things i got was how to make it thru the day sober and get my butt back to the meetings at night

one day at a time

Mo S

Based on my experience; I didnt drink and went to a meeting everyday....the rest just unfolded naturally as I was given the gift of willingness. My best to you.

muvinon

When I was new, they wrote down 5 things for me to do. They were also on plaques on the wall.

Pray
Read the Big Book
Hang out with sober people
Attend meetings
Don't drink

I prayed. I read at least a couple of sentences of the Big Book as I fell asleep.
I hung out with sober people or was alone. I attended one meeting a day. Got me showered and out, anyway. Mostly sat and was confused.

And I didn't drink.

They were right. Things got better.

Welcome!

RobbyRobot

Being a little lost can be used to your advantage if you're willing to cut yourself some breaks. I was the same way when I first entered the rooms and what I learned was to not talk myself into a corner.

The idea here is of course we are attempting to be open and honest and put our best selves forward and so sometimes we say whatevers, or explain things out that on hindsight we would want to be otherwise.

Give yourself room to re-visit whatever it is you're sharing. Let others know your just starting out and not everything you say is written in stone. Let yourself and others understand you're learning to get things right with living sans alcohol.

Nothing is worse then trying to live up or live down something we've said or didn't say and its taken or given in a way that works against us in early sobriety.

Give yourself the room to re-explain yourself. Being rigorously honest is a learned skill. Don't sweat it when you want to say it better. Just do it, and move forward.

Great to hear you're asking for help along with helping yourself, a winning combination!

liamsdad

Show up early, help make the coffee, set up chairs, bring cookies then relax and listen. Keep coming!

shaun00

Something my first sponsor said to me....but bear in mine id been around on and off for a year or two.

"Forget all you think you know about AA", the 12 steps and recovery"
He said that before we embarked on reading the docs opinion together.

Looking back, i thought i knew about AA, about God, and about "recovering".

i still use that mantra today in my mind,....my mind can constantly drone on about outcomes....that i think i know.........mostly proved to be WRONG.

keithj

If it were me, I would get a Big Book and start finding everything in the Dr.'s Opinion and first 3 chapters that I can relate with. I would turn statements in the BB into questions for myself, such as "Have I passed through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again?" I would look at where I drink, think, and feel like Bill W in his story. I would find examples of the mental condition that precedes the first drink in Jim, Fred, and jaywalker stories, and see if they match my own experience.

Then I would probably take a real close look at pages 23-25, and ask myself these two questions: Based on my own experience, have I lost the power of choice in picking up a drink? And, am I willing to accept spiritual help?

If the answer is yes to both, I would eagerly seek out a person who talks about a spiritual solution as being the only hope for a hopeless alcoholic, and who has recovered as the result of taking that spiritual action of the 12 Steps. Then announce in a meeting that you are looking for a recovered alcoholic to guide you through the Steps, and see what happens.

WarriorQueen

Thank you guys so much!!! <3
Went to my 8th meeting today since Wednesday, and have been clean for exactly a week. People are already telling me that I seem like a different, happier person.

I know some (if not most) people would frown on me for going to AA vs. NA due to my current main issue being RX meds, however, alcoholism runs deeply in my family and when I do drink, I binge and I do crave it on occasion. The groups I've gone to have all been AA and I do introduce myself as an alcoholic, though I've been honest when talking outside of the rooms about the RX drugs and no one seems to mind my "outside issues" (which, if I talk about them in the rooms I simply change "addict" or "pills" to alcohol. I use them all for the same reasons anyway...) and all have been very nice and welcoming to me and most of the women there are also pill addicts in addition to alcoholics, so I can relate to them on multiple levels. I feel like I have already made friends, which is a HUGE thing for me because I haven't "socialized" with people for a WHILE.

I am so glad that I found this forum and the program...

sayonara

Keep comming back !