New guy on the forums
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
New guy on the forums
Hey everyone - I'm here because I need to be before it's too late. I'm 27 now and it wasn't until probably 3 or 4 years ago that I really starting drinking abusively. I know the exact cause...it was a relationship gone bad. And I had a really hard time dealing with it. There was a girl that I had liked for YEARS, but she was dating this other guy at the time and I didn't really have a way in. Then one day I find out she's broken up with the guy, so I give it a go with her and things go really well for a while before we basically hit a brick wall. It didn't fall apart because of my drinking, and honestly to this day I don't really know what made it fall apart. What I do know is that in the aftermath of this, I had an incredibly hard time dealing with it, and I started drinking quite a bit mostly just to shut my mind up.
I suppose I did actually start drinking abusively before it was over. I was at a house party that I didn't invite the lady friend to because I just wanted to blow off some steam about this whole mess, and I ended up playing a game of beer pong but substituted whiskey instead. I lost, meaning I drank all the whiskey I poured for myself, and I promptly gave myself the worst hangover I've ever had. My friends still joke with me about it, and I really wish they wouldn't because they have no idea why I wanted to drink that night.
There was at least one day of work I had to call in sick from an extreme hangover. I wasn't out the night before, I was simply in my own home, consuming all the alcohol I could get my hands on and just trying to stop thinking about my mess.
In the years since then, I've gotten over the break-up, but my drinking habit has remained. Now I can't have one drink without having like 6 or 7 more. I find I can control it better when I'm out, though, partly because I don't want to make a fool out of myself in front of my friends (and believe me, I have done this on a number of occasions), and partly because drinks out on the town are so damn expensive lol. However, I do live by myself, and there's nobody here to stop me from having that one extra drink.
Do I need to drink? I don't think so...there's really not much stress in my life, I mean I suppose my job can be stressful at times, but if I ever don't get something done, everyone understands that we are all simply really busy and can't get everything done. I'm also a runner and will be running in my first 10-mile race this weekend, which I'm very excited about. I find running to be an extremely effective stress reliever, but of course drinking is a much easier stress reliever.
I just see myself continually drinking more and more and being comfortable with more and more drinks in a night. "I got nothing to do tonight, why not pick up a 6-pack?" Will that turn into a 12-pack someday? A case? It's been increasing over the years, so no reason to think otherwise.
Anyway, I've probably said way too much already lol. Thank you for reading all of this. As of today I am making a commitment to stay sober and stop this habit before it ruins my life.
I suppose I did actually start drinking abusively before it was over. I was at a house party that I didn't invite the lady friend to because I just wanted to blow off some steam about this whole mess, and I ended up playing a game of beer pong but substituted whiskey instead. I lost, meaning I drank all the whiskey I poured for myself, and I promptly gave myself the worst hangover I've ever had. My friends still joke with me about it, and I really wish they wouldn't because they have no idea why I wanted to drink that night.
There was at least one day of work I had to call in sick from an extreme hangover. I wasn't out the night before, I was simply in my own home, consuming all the alcohol I could get my hands on and just trying to stop thinking about my mess.
In the years since then, I've gotten over the break-up, but my drinking habit has remained. Now I can't have one drink without having like 6 or 7 more. I find I can control it better when I'm out, though, partly because I don't want to make a fool out of myself in front of my friends (and believe me, I have done this on a number of occasions), and partly because drinks out on the town are so damn expensive lol. However, I do live by myself, and there's nobody here to stop me from having that one extra drink.
Do I need to drink? I don't think so...there's really not much stress in my life, I mean I suppose my job can be stressful at times, but if I ever don't get something done, everyone understands that we are all simply really busy and can't get everything done. I'm also a runner and will be running in my first 10-mile race this weekend, which I'm very excited about. I find running to be an extremely effective stress reliever, but of course drinking is a much easier stress reliever.
I just see myself continually drinking more and more and being comfortable with more and more drinks in a night. "I got nothing to do tonight, why not pick up a 6-pack?" Will that turn into a 12-pack someday? A case? It's been increasing over the years, so no reason to think otherwise.
Anyway, I've probably said way too much already lol. Thank you for reading all of this. As of today I am making a commitment to stay sober and stop this habit before it ruins my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Illuminate, that seem just like me when my drinking started to get bad. I was depress about this girl I was crazy about but she blow me off when I did something stupid. After that I started to drink more and more. What happen after a year of heavy drinking, I started to drinking the next morning to avoid the hangover. Well 2 days went to 3 days for a year and 2 years later I would go on 2 weeks of a binge. I have a hard time holding a job because of this issue I have. It may be time to stop now and get some help. Although you have a drinking problem, it's never just the alcohol abuse your doing to yourself. You may be suffering with some personal issues that by be not just that girl.
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by Illuminate 
"I got nothing to do tonight, why not pick up a 6-pack?" Will that turn into a 12-pack someday? A case? It's been increasing over the years, so no reason to think otherwise.
Whereas a bottle used to suffice, I was up to two bottles on the nights I drank (about 3-4/week) and, still, wanted more...
It was a terrible, vicious and downward spiral...anxiety, drinking, anxiety etc.
I'm only on Day 22 but already feel calmer and am slowly getting to a better place.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Welcome to the family!
Some fantastic advice here and brilliant support however you are feeling.
I read lots, finally got the courage to post and have been sober for a week and started going to AA meetings. All very early for me too, but all I had to start was a desire to stop drinking and the realism that for me, things hadn't yet got to the depths of rehab, losing family or job etc, nor did I ever want to.
Some people here have and are having it real bad and their experiences help me want to shape a better future for myself.
You can do it, we all help each other.
Good luck xx
Some fantastic advice here and brilliant support however you are feeling.
I read lots, finally got the courage to post and have been sober for a week and started going to AA meetings. All very early for me too, but all I had to start was a desire to stop drinking and the realism that for me, things hadn't yet got to the depths of rehab, losing family or job etc, nor did I ever want to.
Some people here have and are having it real bad and their experiences help me want to shape a better future for myself.
You can do it, we all help each other.
Good luck xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Illuminate
I just see myself continually drinking more and more and being comfortable with more and more drinks in a night. "I got nothing to do tonight, why not pick up a 6-pack?" Will that turn into a 12-pack someday? A case?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Some ppl get increased tolerance (I did.....I could pound a fifth of Captain Morgans after work and be "ok" - ie not puke, not feel like death the next am, not pass completely out with no warning, etc).
Others go the other way.....tolerance goes up for a while then drops back down.
Either way, make sure.......no matter what you do.........that you don't cross that invisible line into alcoholism. Stop before then cuz once you cross THAT line, your choices get a whole lot more limited: 1 quit drinking AND recover ......or...... 2 die an alcoholic death.
........tough thing that line though......it's invisible yanno.......
Others go the other way.....tolerance goes up for a while then drops back down.
Either way, make sure.......no matter what you do.........that you don't cross that invisible line into alcoholism. Stop before then cuz once you cross THAT line, your choices get a whole lot more limited: 1 quit drinking AND recover ......or...... 2 die an alcoholic death.
........tough thing that line though......it's invisible yanno.......
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Hi Illuminate and Welcome. 
It is a huge step in the right direction to recognize that you have a problem and may be alcoholic. Of course if that is the case and you do have the disease of alcoholism there are many things that you must know about it in order to recover. Much of that info. can be found here on Sober Recovery but also in AA. I will be moving to Minneapolis (very close to where you are) and I know that AA is very strong in your area. I would suggest making a meeting and getting a big book to read.
It is a huge step in the right direction to recognize that you have a problem and may be alcoholic. Of course if that is the case and you do have the disease of alcoholism there are many things that you must know about it in order to recover. Much of that info. can be found here on Sober Recovery but also in AA. I will be moving to Minneapolis (very close to where you are) and I know that AA is very strong in your area. I would suggest making a meeting and getting a big book to read.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
I went from a 6 pack to a case of 24 in one sitting within a period of two years. My increasing tolerance was shocking to other people. I remember spending a week with my GF's family at a summer cottage and my GF's family were absolutely shocked that I could drink a case per day and not be visibly drunk.
It's a slippery slope Illuminate...nip it in the bud now!
It's a slippery slope Illuminate...nip it in the bud now!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 135
Drinking excessively because of a broken relationship is another excuse we use to drink more. "My job is stressful, I don't make enough $, I have a day off, my dog looked at me wrong", maybe not the dog one, are all other weak reasons we all use to further imbibe.
You have a job, are ONLY 27, can run 10 miles, and you are blaming it on a relationship?! Take it from a guy with MANY broken relationships, no relationship is worth worrying about. Another girl is a dime a dozen and the next one will be even better. Get sober by any means necessary and the rest of you life will come together.
Good luck.
You have a job, are ONLY 27, can run 10 miles, and you are blaming it on a relationship?! Take it from a guy with MANY broken relationships, no relationship is worth worrying about. Another girl is a dime a dozen and the next one will be even better. Get sober by any means necessary and the rest of you life will come together.
Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome illuminate 
Some great advice here - I also started drinking for a definite reason, but I continued drinking long after that reason was gone...i simply found more and more reasons to drink and soon enough I found myself in a very very deep hole I'd dug with a bottle...
I think you're wise to be thinking about this, and I know you'll find a lot of support here - good to have you with us
D
Some great advice here - I also started drinking for a definite reason, but I continued drinking long after that reason was gone...i simply found more and more reasons to drink and soon enough I found myself in a very very deep hole I'd dug with a bottle...
I think you're wise to be thinking about this, and I know you'll find a lot of support here - good to have you with us
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Hi Illuminate - very glad to have you here. Good that you're realizing what alcohol can do over time. I never considered quitting until my life was in ruins. I didn't even know what was meant by 'progressive disease' until I saw first hand how that worked. At the end of my career I drank all day, every day - even at work. I was a numb and foggy trainwreck. Never dreamed it could happen to me.
Proud of you for joining and starting this discussion! I hope you'll keep posting. We want to help.
Proud of you for joining and starting this discussion! I hope you'll keep posting. We want to help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Hi Illuminate!
I am also a runner and I know so well how much drinking hurts your running. When you are sober for a length of time, you will see so much improvement in your runs, your m/m, your overall feeling while running - it will seem like a miracle.
I am also a runner and I know so well how much drinking hurts your running. When you are sober for a length of time, you will see so much improvement in your runs, your m/m, your overall feeling while running - it will seem like a miracle.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome Illuminate!
I'm sorry that you have had a hard time dealing with the ending of your relationship. I had a lot of resentments towards an ex that dumped me just before I was going to propose to her. Losing an important relationship can be devastating and I totally get how that could lead to a drinking problem.
I'm 26 and I'll have one year sober pretty soon. I got into drinking pretty heavily from the get-go. My life is a lot more sane without booze in it now.
Good luck with your sobriety
I'm sorry that you have had a hard time dealing with the ending of your relationship. I had a lot of resentments towards an ex that dumped me just before I was going to propose to her. Losing an important relationship can be devastating and I totally get how that could lead to a drinking problem.
I'm 26 and I'll have one year sober pretty soon. I got into drinking pretty heavily from the get-go. My life is a lot more sane without booze in it now.
Good luck with your sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
I didn't keep up here and ended up falling off the wagon again. My run training had been going great, but I developed tendinitis a month ago which has stopped me from running, and I started drinking again...rather than be ashamed of my relapse, I'm coming back here again. August 22, 2012, my new sober date. Gonna try to revisit these forums daily and stay on top of this this time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
