12skiptomylue

I've been absolutely obsessing about whether I have a problem or not. I woke up about 5 or 6 times last night, thinking of this dang message board, and what people have said.

I made the decision last week to give up alcohol for 30 days, starting Monday. Well, I started yesterday (saturday) instead. I'm on day two, and I feel so sad. I think I am sad because I've decided to not drink. Maybe not. I just know I feel sad.

And I can't concentrate because my mind is thinking, "no, you don't really have a problem. You are a fake. You are looking for attention. You are blowing things WAY out of proportion". But then I also think, "has anything GOOD come of my drinking, ever? Have I gained anything positive from drinking?". Nope. That's a good enough reason to quit for a while.

I am taking a major licensing exam on wednesday. I'm trying to focus on studying, and I can't stop thinking about the sadness I feel. Aren't you not supposed to make major life changes during times of huge stress? Well, that isn't working!

I'm just damn sad.

Anna

There is no good/convenient time to stop drinking. There will always be something to get in the way.

I was sad to give up drinking too, and I mourned the loss of alcohol in my life. In the end, it was my only friend. Have you read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp? This book is a memoir of a young, high-functioning alcoholic woman and her love affair with alcohol.

Ghostlight

If you think you have a problem you probably do. That's been my experience.

It took me a long time to quit drinking, even though I knew I had a problem
I hope you don't have to go through the fear, anxiety and self loathing that I did for years.

Wishing you the best.

doggonecarl

For most normal drinkers the thought of having a problem with alcohol never crosses their mind. For those that do, two things cross our mind. 1) The extent of our problem, and 2) the belief that we don't have a problem.

It was my struggle with alcohol that convinced me I had a problem. You are struggling to stay quit. I would think that's a problem for you.


Good luck.

yo466

Skip-

The first few days are always very rough. You are going through physical withdrawl as well as emotional. Hang in there, because if you can get through it just remember you won't ever have to go through it again.

dawnrunner

If you replace the drinking with something positive, like cooking a good meal, making a decent cup of tea or coffee, taking a pre-study nap, a hot bath, a phone call to a friend you haven't spoken to in awhile, it seems less like a sad deprivation and more like "Hey I have the mental wherewithal for this great thing now, and I didn't before!'.

In other words, don't just think of it as a minus, make it into a plus.

Best wishes on your exam!

gr8fl2aa

Good luck to you, there is life without alcohol.

eJoshua

Like Anna said, there's no easy time to quit drinking. I love your line of thinking though, you seem to really be "thinking through the drink", as it were.

Stay strong! The first week is really hard but things will get easier. I'm excited to see what you discover in your 30 days of sobriety.

Take care,

Sapling

I never did that....I just kept drinking till it beat me so badly I couldn't take it anymore.....I hope you find a better way...

Db1105

If drinking is not a problem, then not drinking should not be a problem.

hypochondriac

Why does it matter if you have a problem or not? It sounds like you are anxious of having a problem but if you don't drink, where's the problem? I was certain I had a problem for many years before I quit and used that as an excuse not to quit in times of stress. But then the anxiety caused by drinking caused more stress and I think I got trapped in a vicious circle. You already have 2 days...why not just keep going and see how you feel?

12skiptomylue

Thank you for all of your support during this really crazy time.

I just told my first person in real life that I think I might have an "issue" with alcohol. She is a recovering alcoholic, 3 years sober. It's hard to tell someone, but it makes me feel better that I talked to her.

dawnrunner, I really love your idea of replacing the alcohol with something else positive. I really want to get back into my art. It's such an emotional release for me. I think it could be good to deal with the feelings, and process all of this stuff outside of my "head", and into my heart.

I'm hopeful. But still sad. I don't want to have a problem with alcohol.

Hevyn

I felt sadness & resentment early on, too - even though I knew my drinking had become dangerous & unpredictable. Those feelings of 'loss' gradually faded and went away completely as I healed from my addiction & the problems it caused.

You've made a good decision coming here and talking about it. We're here for you & want to help.

Sapling

What does your friend do to stay sober for 3 years?...Maybe she can help you out...

gplmdyw

The fact that you came to this message board tells me that there is an answer inside of you already about whether you have a problem with alcohol.
It sounds as though you have good insight, and that's a plus.
It is completely normal to feel sad - as well as other feelings - when we stop drinking. After all, the booze anesthetized feelings.
I would take it real easy on yourself and not beat yourself up, that's what our thinking does to us.
I would be hard on yourself where it comes to getting to AA meetings. In other words, make no excuses, no matter what's going on. I'm sure you can carve an hour out of each day until you feel a little better.
Whenever I get to an AA meeting, even after years of going, I still get that wonderful feeling that I'm not alone.
Best of luck, don't give up on yourself.