DisplacedGRITS

EI went to a very nice grocery store i don't often frequent and when i pulled into the parking space my mind immediately went to "i'll grab a couple of singles of beer."I this took me aback because i haven't felt this strong a pull since i started attending AA meetings this past Friday. Then i realized that this is the only store that sells singles of nice beer and i always picked up two or three when i came by. The flood of emotions was intense and almost simultaneous. Mild anger, "i can't buy beer." Sadness, "i wanted to buy beer." Resolve, "i will NOT buy beer." The shopping trip went well but i am exhausted by all those emotions. If i truly felt in danger of relapsing i would have called my sponsor then and there and turned away. I am calling her in just a moment and sharing and will be sure to file this away to share with my group tomorrow and my therapist Wednesday. I just wanted to share my struggle and what i percieve to be my victory with y'all. Thank you.

Lost3000

Oh how I feel for you and can relate.

There's a grocery store I used to shop at all the time, with my go to liquor store right next door. Half the time I'd go by this grocery as an excuse to pick up 2-3 little bottles of vodka. I went to this grocery the other day and had the same thoughts as you. Sucks, doesn't it? I got thru the grocery shopping but I hate that I even have those thoughts.

desertsong

Oh honey, I feel your pain! There's a convenience store right across the highway from us that I frequent almost daily (and did frequent daily when I was buying booze). I go in there now mostly for snacks and drinks for the kids. The left side of the store is convenience store stuff, the right side is ALL liquor, and lots of it. Every time I go in there, it's like a magnet is pulling my body to the right ... I've walked right on over there a few times without even realizing what I was doing and then caught myself. Tough to break old habits! And what's worse is that my husband actually BOUGHT the place a couple of weeks ago. Oh the irony ...

I know the mental torture you went through and it stinks, but you did great and it definitely is a victory. It will get easier to do that with time. Keep going.

Sapling

Nice job Grits...That stuff happens...We're not only humans...We're alkies. Your mind just went right back to what you normally did when you went to that store....The good part is...You felt a little anger...Sadness and resolve....And not thirsty...Then your thought process went to calling your sponsor if needed....It's becoming automatic....If I had to give you a grade on this Grits...You'd get an "A+" from me...Nicely done...

aasharon90

The grocery stores are there for us for a reason.
A necessity in our life. It offers us food and supplies
to feed us as well as our families and has many many
choices of treats to bring to an AA meeting to feed
our friends and enjoy with a cup of coffee.

However, the alcohol isle will always be. It's there
for the people that can drink sucessfully and is filled
with poison to destroy the alcoholic, like me.

For the past 21 yrs. I have used my recovery
program to guide me thru those grocery stores
and avoid the temptation of poison lurking
around each isle.

In early recovery, i used the Serenity Prayer
quite often to calm me down and strengthen
me to do shopping without freaking out when
I pass the poison isle. Ive learned to accept
that, that isle isnt going to disappear and they
are not gonna remove it just because i cant
drink. Acceptance is a lesson I had to learn in
order to grow in recovery.

When i apply my recovery program to my everyday
life, then there isnt anything I cant do sucessfully.
Even shopping.

DisplacedGRITS

Thank you all!!!

Lind

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your victory!! I can totally relate to this!! Keep yp the great work!! Lind

Anna

Good work!

I know that things like that can happen unexpectedly and good for you for getting through it. That's how you get stronger.

mwstylee

I know how you feel! In fact, I got so sick of feeling like that in a grocery store that I've completely stopped going to regular grocery stores now. I only go to a small local whole/organic/natural foods store in town because they don't seel alcohol. My grocery cost is probably 3 to 4 times what it used to be (organic ain't cheap) but there is 0 chance of messing up this way.

Firehazard

Hi Grits, guess what sounds like the meetings are working

I had a experienced somthing similar today as I was giving a member a ride to the bank.

His bank was right across from the liqour store I used to frequent and my cashier friend

was standing outside choking down a cig. I rember how that dude was my only real

human contact for several months. Now it seems friends and potential friends are

everywhere. Thanks for the inspiration

katrinka

I know exactly how you feel! I practically cried when I walked past the wine because I couldn't have it. It's easier now. Good for you for resisting that urge!

Hevyn

Hi Displaced. Proud of you for handling that dilemma. I did that frequently early on - was resentful at first. Most of those thoughts faded away as time went on. You're doing great - glad you talked about it.

eJoshua

That sucks DG... My state doesn't allow booze to be sold in grocery stores -- thank God. I can't imagine having to face that at the grocery store in early sobriety. I think I would have had to send someone else to pick up my groceries.

DisplacedGRITS

Came I spoke with my sponsor today and together we up with a plan (i actually spearheaded it). Grocery stores with integrated alcohol sections are off limits when i'm alone. I can only go with a sober buddy (most likely my husband). This is great because my main stores have seperate liquor departments. My husband is totally fine with this as am i. It gives me freedom but keeps me from more tempting situations. It's like a speed limit. It keeps me safer without totally handcuffing me. I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with and agreeing to all this.

eJoshua

Despite what some others might say, I happen to think this is excellent planning and a surefire way to be successful at staying sober.

I always remember: proper planning prevents **** poor performance.

Great job!

Taking5

Keep working those steps! On pg 85 and 86 on the big book it tells us about how we will eventually react after we have taken our ninth and tenth steps:

jobei

Good job recognizing the trigger! I think that's key to survival! On a side note... I've been putting an equivilent amount of money I'd spend on drinking in a glass jar everyday. Today is day 12 and there's 200 dollars in it... scary thought to think of how much money I've wasted poisoning myself...!

Lost3000

That's a really interesting idea. Other than the large bottles of vodka I'd buy, on weeknights I was stopping by the store every day to buy at least 2 mini bottles. About $3 total. So $3 x 53 days = $159!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!!!

Those days are the weeknights added up since Jan. 1, my sobriety date.

Sapling

You should be Grits...It shows you are willing....That's a real good thing.