dervin17

My 39 year old son is an alcoholic. He has been to re-hab 3 times, the last time (5/11) he left after 2 weeks. He stays sober for a month or two then backing to drinking. Last fall my husband and I said he could live with us while he looked for a job but he could not drink. He lost 3 jobs in the last 6 months because of alcohol. We asked him to leave in Jan., He did, don't know where he went. He called to day and said he wants help (again) and wants to go back to re-hab. My husband is fed up, I am too but am afraid he will die from drinking and may even consider suicide. What should we do? My idea is to send him again to re-hab, then he must live in a sober living home for 90 days while looking for work. Help

flutter

Salvation army.. it's free.

What I have learned living with and loving alcoholics in my life is that I had to establish boundaries for ME, not rules for THEM. I'm not powerful enough to cause change in another person like that, no matter how deeply I love them. My boundaries would certainly include not having an active alcoholic in my home, or providing financial resources when there are other (albeit not as fancy probably) resources. When we do something for someone that they can do for themselves (and choose not to), it's unhealthy. I'm sure since he's been to rehab, he knows how to get help if he wants it badly. I'm sure he's heard of AA, and can call and speak with someone/attend meetings/work steps for free. If he needs to be medically detoxed he can go to a hospital, or contact the Salvation Army. He can call information for those numbers.

When I decided I was done drinking myself to death, I had to figure it out on my own.. it was one of the most valuable life lessons I have ever been taught.

There's a "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" section on these forums, I'm sure if you posted this there too, you'd gain a wealth of information, guidance, and shared experience.

laurie6781

Give him the phone number of the Salvation Army. They have an EXCELLENT program and rehab for those that WANT recovery and best of all .......................... it's free.

He will have to convince them he is ready.

Time for you and dad to STAY 'stepped back' and just watch his actions and do not listen to his words.

Check our our Friends and Family Forum, some great ES&H over there:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Love and hugs,

2granddaughters

dervin, Al-Anon might just be the ticket for you. For friends and family of alcoholics.

Number should be in your phone book. All the best.

Bob R

Riel

If he wants to go back to rehab, send him to rehab.

sugarbear1

He's 39 years old. Is he capable of finding a rehab on his own?
Call the Salvation Army and ask about rehab for alcoholism, here are two places near you:
Placerville
(530) 672-3147

286 Sutter Street
Auburn
(530) 889-3990

Al Anon for you and hubby. Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups

3625 Marconi Avenue
Sacramento
(916) 483-4806

5429 Palm Ave # A
Sacramento
(916) 334-2970

Peace, Love, & Hugs,

Anna

I hope that you find some support here at SR for yourself.

langkah

Figure it will go as it's gone before and decide if that's worthwhile to you.