Does the alcoholic in your life do this too??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 14
Does the alcoholic in your life do this too??
Just had a question to pose:
When my AH does something, he tends to do it "all the way"...there's no half-a$%ing anything. For example...
drinking (obviously!)
affection and compliments (so kind and generous)
projects around the house (totally immersed)
work (puts himself into it completely)
If there's something he really likes to do or cares about he's all about it. This can be good if it's something productive, obviously bad if it's something on the unhealthy/destructive side of the scale. I was just wondering if anyone else ever noticed this in the alcoholic in their life. I think I now see that this "addictive behavior" is somewhat at the core of my hubby's personality.
When my AH does something, he tends to do it "all the way"...there's no half-a$%ing anything. For example...
drinking (obviously!)
affection and compliments (so kind and generous)
projects around the house (totally immersed)
work (puts himself into it completely)
If there's something he really likes to do or cares about he's all about it. This can be good if it's something productive, obviously bad if it's something on the unhealthy/destructive side of the scale. I was just wondering if anyone else ever noticed this in the alcoholic in their life. I think I now see that this "addictive behavior" is somewhat at the core of my hubby's personality.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Could be. Mine was the same way. Now that he is sober and is properly medicated for the conditions he used to try to self-medicate, he has a much more even keel of attention and level of attention to his projects.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 183
My huband was very high functioning. He hadn't taken a sick day in 30 years and was always engaged in something whether it was work, repairs, hobbies, whatever. He is also very affectionate and efffusive with praise.
He is in his 3rd year of sobriety and the change has been incredible. While he was almost manic before, now everything is slow and relaxed. That's all good, but darned if home repairs take weeks longer for him to get to now.
He says that he isn't running from anything anymore.
He is in his 3rd year of sobriety and the change has been incredible. While he was almost manic before, now everything is slow and relaxed. That's all good, but darned if home repairs take weeks longer for him to get to now.
He says that he isn't running from anything anymore.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
nope. mine did everything half-way, rarely completing a task and always seeking the shortcut because the lager was calling. the basic idea was the quicker this task is finished the sooner i can get back to my drinking so i will do the least amount possible. then i can get paid for this job and then i can buy the lager. i will do the worst job possible that is passable to secure the cash. then i will take such cash immediately to the pub.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
nope. mine did everything half-way, rarely completing a task and always seeking the shortcut because the lager was calling. the basic idea was the quicker this task is finished the sooner i can get back to my drinking so i will do the least amount possible. then i can get paid for this job and then i can buy the lager. i will do the worst job possible that is passable to secure the cash. then i will take such cash immediately to the pub.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
nope. mine did everything half-way, rarely completing a task and always seeking the shortcut because the lager was calling. the basic idea was the quicker this task is finished the sooner i can get back to my drinking so i will do the least amount possible. then i can get paid for this job and then i can buy the lager. i will do the worst job possible that is passable to secure the cash. then i will take such cash immediately to the pub.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
Posts: 312
My XAH works construction and he was very dedicated and always punctual to work however everytime he was on a binge he will miss work for 2 weeks, however because he was good the employers put up with him missing some work, he has a 790 credit score and always managed to have a good savings account (which was 1/2 mine after the divorce), we accomplish quite a lot together. So yes, they can be very funtional.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Well, I would joke that my AH was from Texas - if a little would do.....he needed a whole lot. (my apologies to those from Texas)
If a little bit of sauce made it taste better, a whole lot should be dynamite!
If a four door car would do, a BMW would do better!
that kind of thinking.....
If a little bit of sauce made it taste better, a whole lot should be dynamite!
If a four door car would do, a BMW would do better!
that kind of thinking.....
Skipper
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
Originally Posted by Pelican 
Well, I would joke that my AH was from Texas - if a little would do.....he needed a whole lot. (my apologies to those from Texas)
If a little bit of sauce made it taste better, a whole lot should be dynamite!
If a four door car would do, a BMW would do better!
that kind of thinking.....
If a little bit of sauce made it taste better, a whole lot should be dynamite!
If a four door car would do, a BMW would do better!
that kind of thinking.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Hmmm... When I first started dating XAH, he was an incredibly hard worker. He wasn't afraid of physically demanding work or long hours.
It changed a very great deal through the years. The past few years he's been taking jobs that gave him the greatest leeway to cut and drink. Or that had random hours, so he could cut and drink and I wouldn't know.... I have no idea what he's doing now, but based on the State tracking him down for child support, getting part of one, tracking him down, etc, I know there have been at least 3 since last November.
I can't help but snicker just a little. When I was still living with XAH, my desk at work looked like a poster for This is what OCD looks like. Everything was J_u_s_t____s_o. If some one moved a folder just a bit, as soon as they left, I moved it right back. It was something I could control, because I sure could not control anything at home.
It changed a very great deal through the years. The past few years he's been taking jobs that gave him the greatest leeway to cut and drink. Or that had random hours, so he could cut and drink and I wouldn't know.... I have no idea what he's doing now, but based on the State tracking him down for child support, getting part of one, tracking him down, etc, I know there have been at least 3 since last November.
Originally Posted by Cyranoak
but I've observed often in alcoholics and addicts behavior I characterize as OCD.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
My mother is an alcoholic, has been forever, but she also has an addictive personality in other ways, if she bowls, then she bowls 5 days a week or none, if she exercises, she exercises 7 days a week or none, now she is into slot machines which is really really bad, thank god my father can afford it, there has never ever been a middle ground with my mom, she was that way with discipline, none or screaming and beatings. Made for a lovely upbringing.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Saltburn UK
Posts: 278
What an interesting observation, my ah certainly is obsessive about tidiness, rubbish collection etc and sets about it with military precision-the antithesis of how she behaves after a drink-slipshod. Her early childhood was in a very repressive East Germany-?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 14
What I wonder is, is this part of the disease, or is this part of who he is? That's why I was interested to see if anyone else had noticed this. I've known other people like this, they may not obsess about alcohol or drugs, but they still seem rather "intense" about one thing or another. My sister is like this, as my dad liked to say "Everything is black or white with her, there is no grey." My husband has even noticed this type of behavior in my mother, her vices are shopping and coffee though. She has never done it to the point to cause major chaos in her life, perhaps that is the real difference. I just wondered if this personality trait perhaps made a person more susceptible to addiction problems.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by autumn1554
If there's something he really likes to do or cares about he's all about it. This can be good if it's something productive, obviously bad if it's something on the unhealthy/destructive side of the scale. I was just wondering if anyone else ever noticed this in the alcoholic in their life. I think I now see that this "addictive behavior" is somewhat at the core of my hubby's personality.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 271
My ExAB was obsessive with whatever he wanted at the time. To feel better=drinking or pills or both. To feel bad as an excuse to drink. To feed his EGO obsessed with putting others down including me. To feel numb he would binge on food and purge.
Now his obsession is getting me back after I left him 8 weeks ago and went NO CONTACT two weeks ago.
Interesting how not one of his obsessions was of service to others.
Now his obsession is getting me back after I left him 8 weeks ago and went NO CONTACT two weeks ago.
Interesting how not one of his obsessions was of service to others.
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