Duke10

So I have been to my doctor and been to my therapist. I have tried AA and it was ok but I did not like it that much. I have talked to my family and tried medicines. I also tried slowly stopping (which my dr. recommended). So far I have had no success. I am going to try again today. My wife is sick of me but she drinks, smokes and does pot so her words seem kind of hollow to me. I feel like I am on my own to do this (besides you fine people).

flutter

. (double post)

flutter

I believe that whether we are surrounded by cheerleaders and supporters or not, recovery is an incredibly personal 'solo' journey. I came to a place where I wanted it enough, nothing could have prevented me from recovering.

DayTrader

At first, I didn't like AA much either. I didn't like being on my own and failing more though. When I started trying to go to meetings with an open mind though......it was like I was at a different place. Setting down my judgments of AA opened me up to really experience AA.....and that made all the difference. Before long, I was in love with the program.

smacked

Do you want to recover? I know that sounds bitchy, but do you.. really really want to live sober? I found that nothing could have 'worked' before I was ready.. anything could have worked once I was.

Duke10

Oh I want to quit. Some of the best times I had in life were when I drank but also some of the worst times. Lately they have all been bad times and it must come to an end.

Duke10

Oh I want to quit. Some of the best times I had in life were when I drank but also some of the worst times. Lately they have all been bad times and it must come to an end.

Anewlife4me11

Good luck Duke10!

jocata

Did you work any of the steps in AA? Did you have a sponser? Did you read the Big Book?

Going to meetings is great, and having the support of others is great also, but I have to do much, much more than that to stay sober.

God bless.

Duke10

I am reading the big book. I do believe in a higher power but some of the stuff in AA is too religious for me. Maybe if I continue to read the book I will get more into it and go back a the meetings.

augustwest

i learned the hard way that wanting the pain to stop and being willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking and drugging are two entirely different things. I had to become willing to do whatever it takes.

Sapling

Why don't you get a sponsor to go through the book with you..And it's not religious...You belive in a Higher Power...That's all you need...Nobody is going to make you go to Church....Or try and change your Higher Power to theirs.

2granddaughters

In about my 3rd year of recovery in AA I began to see the 12 Steps as an opportunity for a better life rather than a penalty I had to pay for being an alcoholic.
Things began to fall into place better after that.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

2granddaughters

In about my 3rd year of recovery in AA I began to see the 12 Steps as an opportunity for a better life rather than a penalty I had to pay for being an alcoholic.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

Dee74

Hi Duke

If you ultimately decide AA is not for you, there's no reason not to avail yourself of any of the many alternatives.

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

Good to see you back
D

Duke10

The 12 step process seems like it has to break you down then rebuild you?? Maybe that is what I need and am just not will to be broken down yet. Maybe Smacked is right. I need to look in the mirror and really hate the person I am right now.

augustwest

Whether we use the 12 step method or something else, the self-analysis and self-awareness that aries from that are crucial to getting and staying sober. It's not breaking you down, it's just taking an honest look at yourself. And i don't think there's a way around that. I didn't want to do that either, until i was so sick of myself that i was ready to do whatever it takes. You can do it.

but i will say that if 'break you down' means relinquishing our warped alcoholic low self-esteem ego mania then i agree!

CaiHong

Hi Duke

Welcome and good for you for starting to look seriously at your drinking. The first step is the hardest.
To truly admit that you are an alcoholic. it took me maybe 6 months before I really deep down admitted it to myself and knew that to be the truth but meanwhile I followed the program and stayed close to this forum.

You really have to want to get sober and only you can get to that stage but there are things you can do, read about alcoholism, look at different programs.

I wish you all the best

CaiHong

Duke10

6 months?? That is pretty quick Cai. It has taken me years but the last year has been just terrible. My moment was when I was in Vegas for work and my wife was coming out there to meet me the next day and stay the weekend. I honestly don't remember meeting in the lobby. So sad and she was looking forward to it so much.

macknacat

i think flutter, daytrader and smacked all ask the pertinent questions- it IS an 'inside' job- i always could find a person to point to as my "reason" to stay high. And do you want this? I made recovery my 'front n center' priority because it had become obvious that by using i was risking all that i had hitherto held of value- relationship, family , profession, integrity, etc.

When that happened i was willing to walk into 12 step programs with an open mind. 16 years later, i know that was the best thing to happen to me...