boozeybutterfly

I frequent a local bar twice a week, usually one week night & one weekend night. Sometimes I go out three times a week, but twice is my average. This little hole in the wall pours strong, cheap drinks (2-3 oz liquor per drink). Since I go to this place pretty frequently, I've become accustomed to their drinks, so much that if I go to a different place where they serve a typical 1.5 oz shot of liquor in my drink, it takes me quite a few more drinks to get a buzz. I usually drink 3-4 mixed drinks each time at my little hole in the wall bar. I guess that ends up being just under a fifth of liquor a week.

I don't really drink at home that often, and if I do, it replaces my nights out, it doesn't add to them. If I drink at home, I can't do it alone, unless I'm only having one glass of wine or one beer to relax. Drinking is more of a social thing for me. I have to at least be talking on the phone to someone if I am going to drink more than one drink.

When I go out, I usually drink to get drunk & I tend to black out. I'm pretty indulgent & have a hard time saying no when it comes to stopping before I'm "satisfied" (which is usually 4 strong drinks). I've asked several times if I do anything stupid & my friends always say no & sometimes say they didn't even realize I was any more than tipsy. It always hits me at the very end of the night or when I get home. I guess it's called blacking out, but my situation is I don't remember everything that was said in my conversations with people. I remember if they remind me the next day, but I usually can't remember on my own. I have a horrible memory anyways & some of it I'm sure is attributed to genetics. My parents are pretty bad at remembering things & have been for a long time & my dad is an occasional light drinker & my mom rarely drinks. Not making excuses though, I'm sure a large part of it is attributed to my frequent alcohol use & past recreational drug use.

I had my first drink at 15 or 16, but I wasn't drinking on a regular basis then. By 17, I was drinking about every weekend. By 18, I was still drinking every weekend, but was more into drugs until I was 20. I got back into drinking when I was 21, & was only doing some pills here & there. I stopped all drugs except pot when I was 22 & just drank, which is how things are today. My drinking habits have pretty much stayed the same since then...2-3 nights a week, 3-4 strong drinks (or 5-6 regular ones) each time for the past 10 years. I don't drink in the daytime, rarely before 10pm, unless it's a special occasion or with dinner. I'm cautious about hurting my body, so I take milk thistle & NAC before & after I drink & I drink a detox tea & diluted cranberry juice the day after drinking. I also take a liquid vitamin B complex every day.

There isn't much to do in my town & most people I know drink about the same amount that I do, except for those that are married & have children & never go out. Others I know, drink more, a few drink less. I don't like to go without my 2-3 nights a week drinking. I've gone months without doing it when I moved to a town & I didn't have any friends to go out with. As I said, it's a social thing, so I didn't drink at home, except maybe 3 beers twice a month when I called friends from back home. It would be nice to remember everything that was said the next day, although, I'm not sure if that's even possible, considering how much I talk, haha. It would also be nice to not have a hangover. Anyways, does it sound like I have a problem? I'm thinking maybe I'm not an alcoholic, but rather, an alcohol abuser. I've read online that there is a difference. What do you guys think?

FlyerFan

Well, if you came here thinking you might have a problem, then you should trust your instinct. You mentioned that you drink to get drunk when you go out, and that is a red flag for almost anyone here.

Do you want to stop for good? It took me many times trying to quit before I realized I wasn't able to on my own.

Sapling

Welcome...I don't know what you want to call it...You're posting here...So there must be some concern...Definetly not normal drinking...They don't black out.....Is it causing you problems?..Other than memory lapses?

Dee74

Hi BB

I think if you think you have a problem then you probably do.

Myself I don't think it's normal, or healthy, to drink to blackout, no matter how many other people seem to be doing it too

D

boozeybutterfly

Well, I guess I was just wondering if I'm drinking too much in comparison with other people. I'm just curious by nature & always thinking & so my reason for asking doesn't necessarily mean that I think that I have a problem. I'm just curious. The only people I have had to compare it to are my friends & those on the tv show intervention & online articles I've read about studies done on drinking habits. Compared to my unmarried & child-free friends in my town, my drink habits are about the same. And yes, they have the same kind of blacking out that I do. Compared to the posts I read & shows I've watched, my habits don't indicate that I'm an alcoholic. I think compared to what's considered "moderate drinking" by studies I've read online & sliding scales, I seem to be on the high end or slightly above moderate drinking. It's hard for me to go by those studies because they always seem so far from the truth from what I know & see around me. I never seem to fit into the norm of any studies though, lol.

Also, I want to add a couple things about drinking to get drunk. I still have my standards & will pass up Jager or anything else that I find nasty, every time. And I don't know if I should say I drink to get drunk, but rather, I just don't like to stop once I'm having a good time, which usually results in me getting drunk. Like I said, I'm pretty indulgent, be it sex, alcohol, food, cigarettes, etc. I like to have a lot of whatever it is in that certain time frame & then I don't want any more of it for a few days. I guess that's binging, which I seem to do with a lot of aspects of my life, heh.

FlyerFan

Well if you do decide that you have a problem, please come here and talk to us.

Sapling

I don't know....For someone that doesn't think they have a drinking problem...You seem to spend a lot of thought and study on the subject....Seems to me you are just looking for someone to say you don't. If you wanted the truth from me...I'd say if you don't have a problem now...It's only a matter of time before you do.

suic

For me I never wondered if I had a problem. I would sit in my boxers by myself at 7 am binging on malt liquor until I was so drunk I couldn't stand up. Pretty sure that doesn't qualify as "social drinking"

Dee74

There is a danger in doing that tho - I could always find people the same or worse off than me to make myself feel better...I could always find people to tell me I was fine, that I didn't have a problem, or reassure me that I didn't do anything stupid last night...

but I was still obsessing about drinking, my life was still revolving around drinking, I was still blacking out, I was still having unexplained falls and bruises, I was still binge drinking....

I see a lot of red flags in your posts - things that are very familiar to me...

drinking to get drunk, black outs, being naturally 'indulgent' & have a hard time saying no when it comes to stopping before I'm "satisfied", being worried about damage to your body but continuing to binge anyway and falling back on supplements, using the excuses 'nothing else to do' and 'everyone else does it too'...

But me seeing them doesn't mean much - it's your call, not mine.

best of luck to you

D

newleaves2012

I wouldn't worry about your drinking in comparison to other people. I would worry about the fact that you drink and blackout on a regular basis. it doesn't matter that you don't act like an idiot when you're blacked out.

freshstart57

To paraphrase Rick Blaine, "BoozeyButterfly, I’m no good at diagnosis, but it doesn’t take much to see that your question of how much is too much don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world”.

12 oz of liquor in an evening on a regular basis is substantial. It can get a lot worse really quickly too. Would you like to change that?

MentalLoop

Boozey - I drank about what you did, maybe a little less given your blacking out - or lack of memory as the case may be. I'm an alcoholic. It's quality not quantity - and I don't mean McCallan vs. Johnny. Alcohol affected my judgment, put my mental framework in an unbalanced state, and frankly kind of made me suck. That was enough for me to say no more!

artsoul

Welcome, boozebutterfly!

I think it's really positive that you're asking yourself some questions...... Better to be aware of it and honest with yourself.

Alcoholism isn't necessarily apparent in the beginning. I drank occasionally for 15 years (even going a few years without drinking at all). I just didn't think about it except for parties, but looking back I see that I was never a one-or-two-drink girl. The pattern was there all along. By the time I realized I wasn't wired like other drinkers, I had a terrible time stopping.

The thing about alcoholism is that it gets worse over time, so it's definitely best to catch it as soon as you can. If you read a bit on this forum, it might help you answer some of your questions. Good to have you!

BillyPilgrim

Spot on artsoul. The first time I drank wine at 15 I got drunk. Next time at 21, I got drunk. Then at 30 I had it and got drunk. It didnt become a problem until 5 years ago (I am 53) but the seed was there all along, if it quacks like a duck, waddles and looks like a duck, chances are it is a duck

ReadyAndAble

I disagree about avoiding comparisons. Sometimes they can be very instructive.

Take me, for example. I'm a full-blown alcoholic. And your relationship with alcohol sounds a lot like mine...

instant

I think a normal drinker doesn't go looking for a buzz once they start drinking. The buzz is the reason I drank, otherwise I can't see the point.

StPeteGrad

I'll just give this definition of alcoholic that works for me and you can decide for yourself.
"When I pick up that first drink I cannot predict when I will stop..."
There's more but I'll just stop there. The rest of the quote is in some of my other posts.
I hope you find good information here.

boozeybutterfly

Just reviewed your posts & appreciate all the feedback very much. I'm about to go to sleep, but will put some more thought into a response tomorrow. Just wanted to quickly say that I have seen that comment a lot around this forum ""When I pick up that first drink I cannot predict when I will stop..." and I have to say I am thinking & thinking & I really cannot think of anyone that I know that says they CAN predict when they will stop drinking & says something like "I'm only going to have this drink & one more." & follows those guidelines. I only know one person who kind of does this & SHE considers herself an alcoholic! She drinks probably 4 times a week (that I know of, maybe more than that) & each time, she always has the same thing...a pitcher of beer & a shot...never any less, rarely any more, so she's pretty predictable, but still drinks too much. In my experience, everyone else I've met who can predict when they will stop drinking & adhere to it either 1.) Have work or school in the morning & can't afford to be hungover 2.) Don't have a ride home & want to make sure they get home safe 3.) Have children to take care of. If they don't have any of those obligations the next day, then they just drink until they've reached their limit where they feel satisfied or the bar is closing. Then, of course, there are those who drink beyond the point of satisfaction too, who are slurring their words & falling all over the place. I guess a lot of people in my town must be alcoholics? I don't know. :/ More tomorrow...

Dee74

Yeah....whether by accident or mutual design, I gravitated to and surrounded myself with people who drank like I did...

noone wants to endlessly justify how they drink, or why they drink, like I used to with girlfriends or school friends or co workers...

what better way to avoid that censure, and feel good about the way of life I was living, that to surround myself with people like me?

needless to add, I found out that being part of a heavy drinking hard partying group doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have a problem.

why not give up drinking, completely, for say 90 days (I usually say 30 but if you're a binger you already are used to not drinking for periods of time)

If you can do that, I think you'd have a much idea whether you have a problem or not

D

Sapling

The world is full of people like that...I didn't hang around many of them either. And you sure aren't going to find many of them on this website...I liked to be surrounded by alcoholics....It made it made it easier to accept the fact I was one.