Marijuana user 13+ years
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Marijuana user 13+ years
I can't believe I have been smoking marijuana for 13+ years. As I write this message, just looking at the number makes me mad.
I started smoking casually when I was 18 or 19. I smoked because it felt so good. And mixing with alcohol was a bonus. I smoked it throughout my university years, even went to class stoned. I just didn't care. All I wanted to do was get high. My marks suffered for this, and eventually I went on academic probation. I decided to quit during my last year in order to graduate.
But once I graduated and started working full time job I went full speed ahead smoking 4-5 times a week. Then came the coke, crack, e, oxy.... But I got tired of those drugs quick because I never liked the come down. Weed became my exclusive drug.
During my late 20's the weed started changing my personality. I would get mood swings. Eventually I lost my job and many of my friends because I couldn't control my emotions and anger. The weed just made me not care about anything. Eventually I lost my girlfriend and that put me over the top and I started smoking weed even more. The next 3 years were hell.
But during those 3 years I started monitoring my personality. I realized that the weed was making me paranoid, resentful, and suicidal . That is when I started slowly coming off it and changed my smoking habits. My smoking habits changed to only friday, that way I could give myself 2 days to recover from the effect of the come down. But eventually that went out the window again. Then I changed to a once a month habit.
The once a month habit is manageable. By only smoking once a month I was able to participate in society and hold down a steady job. I felt way less sketchy. But even when I smoked once a month, that one time for the month made me become lazy and would effect my personality for an entire 2 weeks.......
I have finally made the decision that I want to cut it out of my diet completely. Although I don't mind smoking it maybe once a year. But I want to rid myself of it. I am getting to a point in my career where I can't afford to feel sluggish anymore. I am learning to enjoy reality. I am learning how to accept stress and let my body learn to cope with it.
What troubles me is that my smoking buddy doesn't have to stop. My smoking buddy has been smoking 13+ years 7 days a week, holds a full time job and lives a productlful life. Or so it seems. I am jealous. I guess it affect everyone differently. But I just can't believe that some people are capable of living that lifestyle.
Anyways I am here now. I want to stop smoking weed completely. I truly believe it ruined a portion of my life. Now it is time to be in control.
I started smoking casually when I was 18 or 19. I smoked because it felt so good. And mixing with alcohol was a bonus. I smoked it throughout my university years, even went to class stoned. I just didn't care. All I wanted to do was get high. My marks suffered for this, and eventually I went on academic probation. I decided to quit during my last year in order to graduate.
But once I graduated and started working full time job I went full speed ahead smoking 4-5 times a week. Then came the coke, crack, e, oxy.... But I got tired of those drugs quick because I never liked the come down. Weed became my exclusive drug.
During my late 20's the weed started changing my personality. I would get mood swings. Eventually I lost my job and many of my friends because I couldn't control my emotions and anger. The weed just made me not care about anything. Eventually I lost my girlfriend and that put me over the top and I started smoking weed even more. The next 3 years were hell.
But during those 3 years I started monitoring my personality. I realized that the weed was making me paranoid, resentful, and suicidal . That is when I started slowly coming off it and changed my smoking habits. My smoking habits changed to only friday, that way I could give myself 2 days to recover from the effect of the come down. But eventually that went out the window again. Then I changed to a once a month habit.
The once a month habit is manageable. By only smoking once a month I was able to participate in society and hold down a steady job. I felt way less sketchy. But even when I smoked once a month, that one time for the month made me become lazy and would effect my personality for an entire 2 weeks.......
I have finally made the decision that I want to cut it out of my diet completely. Although I don't mind smoking it maybe once a year. But I want to rid myself of it. I am getting to a point in my career where I can't afford to feel sluggish anymore. I am learning to enjoy reality. I am learning how to accept stress and let my body learn to cope with it.
What troubles me is that my smoking buddy doesn't have to stop. My smoking buddy has been smoking 13+ years 7 days a week, holds a full time job and lives a productlful life. Or so it seems. I am jealous. I guess it affect everyone differently. But I just can't believe that some people are capable of living that lifestyle.
Anyways I am here now. I want to stop smoking weed completely. I truly believe it ruined a portion of my life. Now it is time to be in control.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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And just like that I ended up smoking 2 joints last night. My friend suggested it and I obliged. I don't feel super high right now because I didn't take big pulls. It is so hard to stop. I read a lot of advice, and they suggest that you changed your friends. But that is really hard to do.
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heh gan
i only know how to live w/o doing it at all. Seems like any time i tried controlled using it was just a matter of days , maybe even weeks, before using was what i most wanted to do. Sure , i found ways to be "functional" -like my buddy Sandy always said- "Chronic meant i could be , like , a really good dishwasher- but then i turned 50 and thought- maybe there's a bit more to life...."
BTW- i do NA - its been working for 16 yrs now- think i'll keep doing it....
i only know how to live w/o doing it at all. Seems like any time i tried controlled using it was just a matter of days , maybe even weeks, before using was what i most wanted to do. Sure , i found ways to be "functional" -like my buddy Sandy always said- "Chronic meant i could be , like , a really good dishwasher- but then i turned 50 and thought- maybe there's a bit more to life...."
BTW- i do NA - its been working for 16 yrs now- think i'll keep doing it....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Welcome Gandhi
Well I smoked for almost 3 times as long and you - and it doesn't get any better....only worse
Whatever little spark you have to quit - fan it - even if it means making some lifestyle changes and cutting off some of your friends for a while.
You'll look back and be glad you made the decision to stop now and not in 20 years time.
D
Well I smoked for almost 3 times as long and you - and it doesn't get any better....only worse
Whatever little spark you have to quit - fan it - even if it means making some lifestyle changes and cutting off some of your friends for a while.
You'll look back and be glad you made the decision to stop now and not in 20 years time.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 8
I was kind of thinking of NA but everyone makes MJ seem like a weak drug...
Originally Posted by macknacat 
heh gan
i only know how to live w/o doing it at all. Seems like any time i tried controlled using it was just a matter of days , maybe even weeks, before using was what i most wanted to do. Sure , i found ways to be "functional" -like my buddy Sandy always said- "Chronic meant i could be , like , a really good dishwasher- but then i turned 50 and thought- maybe there's a bit more to life...."
BTW- i do NA - its been working for 16 yrs now- think i'll keep doing it....
i only know how to live w/o doing it at all. Seems like any time i tried controlled using it was just a matter of days , maybe even weeks, before using was what i most wanted to do. Sure , i found ways to be "functional" -like my buddy Sandy always said- "Chronic meant i could be , like , a really good dishwasher- but then i turned 50 and thought- maybe there's a bit more to life...."
BTW- i do NA - its been working for 16 yrs now- think i'll keep doing it....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 8
I am glad you mentioned that it is possible to cut off certain friends for a while. It would be so hard to cut off these people forever after you known them for over 15+ years. But you are right. Once my career starts to take off again if I don't stop myself I will be buying by the ounces....
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome Gandhi
Well I smoked for almost 3 times as long and you - and it doesn't get any better....only worse
Whatever little spark you have to quit - fan it - even if it means making some lifestyle changes and cutting off some of your friends for a while.
You'll look back and be glad you made the decision to stop now and not in 20 years time.
D
Well I smoked for almost 3 times as long and you - and it doesn't get any better....only worse
Whatever little spark you have to quit - fan it - even if it means making some lifestyle changes and cutting off some of your friends for a while.
You'll look back and be glad you made the decision to stop now and not in 20 years time.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 8
It's amazing how there is such a divide about this natural going drug. But people have to realize that everyone's brain chemistry is slightly different therefore the effects will be different. In my case once I start abusing it I go downhill. But I must admit, it is the cure for a hangover.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
Other people can do what they want Gandhi - but I know I destroyed my life as much on pot as I did on alcohol again later - I'm a slow learner but I get there in the end...I'm happy not running away from reality anymore - nearly 5 years and counting.
...and, as an alcoholic & an addict - & given what kind of forum this is - I reckon the best cure for a hangover is not to drink at all
D
...and, as an alcoholic & an addict - & given what kind of forum this is - I reckon the best cure for a hangover is not to drink at all
D
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 335
If I could choose a drug over any other it would have to be marijuarna for sure..... I've used ecstacy, acid, meth, speed and alcohol. The most fun I felt was always marijuarna because it was the fun sessions with other people I remember best.
I really could never handle the comedowns either off the stronger drugs so marijuarna was my choice drug I would always come back too. But with that said after smoking it recreationally for about 3 years I had a psychotic episode from marijuarna I lost touch with reality. I was 18 and in a psychiatric unit put on all sorts of medication and threatened with electro convulsive therapy ect.
When I got out my friends were mixed with there felling to my newly aquired mental illness it has a stigma about it which today is still around. I was jealous of my friends who smoked it all day everyday with little to no consequence. I felt like an outcast and had to travel in different circles as most my friends were dope friends.
After a couple years I thought id give it another go and when I was stoned i always was weary and never smoked so much hat i was off my skull but pleasantly stoned. At 24 I completely crashed not just from marijuarna but all the drugs mentioned above. I became agoraphobic and panic attacks were a daily occurence. I quit my job and lost my relationship because of this crash.
This crash lasted a few years of the worst years of my life. Could hardly do anything and suicide looked like a good option. At 27 at the break-down of my relationship I suffered a nervous breakdown which brought me to the bottom 6 months of living hell I can asuure you.
With new medication from my family doctor I was back on my feet ready to fight another day. I was feeling pretty good. I then got onto marijuarna and finally meth which was pretty much the hardest thing Ive done in terms of drugs. I got off the meth and marijuarna and have been clean off drugs for about 4 months now maybe more I didn't count.
Marijuarna in the end was more trouble than it was worth. I drink alcohol to this day and would consider myself a problem drinker but it is leagues better than the life on the other substances. I will never touch meth again for sure. As for marijuarna it is more of removing yourself from those types of people that will get you on a path to a good future just thought i would let you know that as you know yourself marijuarna effects all of us differently.
I would also like to add I became very inward when smoking marijuarna and uninterested in sex. My whole personality changed it was weird glad I don't smoke it anymore.
I really could never handle the comedowns either off the stronger drugs so marijuarna was my choice drug I would always come back too. But with that said after smoking it recreationally for about 3 years I had a psychotic episode from marijuarna I lost touch with reality. I was 18 and in a psychiatric unit put on all sorts of medication and threatened with electro convulsive therapy ect.
When I got out my friends were mixed with there felling to my newly aquired mental illness it has a stigma about it which today is still around. I was jealous of my friends who smoked it all day everyday with little to no consequence. I felt like an outcast and had to travel in different circles as most my friends were dope friends.
After a couple years I thought id give it another go and when I was stoned i always was weary and never smoked so much hat i was off my skull but pleasantly stoned. At 24 I completely crashed not just from marijuarna but all the drugs mentioned above. I became agoraphobic and panic attacks were a daily occurence. I quit my job and lost my relationship because of this crash.
This crash lasted a few years of the worst years of my life. Could hardly do anything and suicide looked like a good option. At 27 at the break-down of my relationship I suffered a nervous breakdown which brought me to the bottom 6 months of living hell I can asuure you.
With new medication from my family doctor I was back on my feet ready to fight another day. I was feeling pretty good. I then got onto marijuarna and finally meth which was pretty much the hardest thing Ive done in terms of drugs. I got off the meth and marijuarna and have been clean off drugs for about 4 months now maybe more I didn't count.
Marijuarna in the end was more trouble than it was worth. I drink alcohol to this day and would consider myself a problem drinker but it is leagues better than the life on the other substances. I will never touch meth again for sure. As for marijuarna it is more of removing yourself from those types of people that will get you on a path to a good future just thought i would let you know that as you know yourself marijuarna effects all of us differently.
I would also like to add I became very inward when smoking marijuarna and uninterested in sex. My whole personality changed it was weird glad I don't smoke it anymore.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
heh Gan
there are a few good threads about NA and pot here on SR. the meetings i go to throw all that junkie pride BS out the window. [Really, only addicts could fight about who is sicker than whom... LOL] we recognize that "filling the void" is different for each of us; but the solution we have found is the same for all of us.
there are a few good threads about NA and pot here on SR. the meetings i go to throw all that junkie pride BS out the window. [Really, only addicts could fight about who is sicker than whom... LOL] we recognize that "filling the void" is different for each of us; but the solution we have found is the same for all of us.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 8
Wow checkmate1, a lot of what you said is like looking in the mirror. I have been in denial for a while because i feel embarrassed to say that mj has been my downfall and I am still embarrassed to admit it. But I still can't believe that mj could be the reason I quit my job, the reason why my girlfriend had to move on with her life without me. But the more I read into this thread the more I see that mj is a serious problem.
Originally Posted by checkmate1
If I could choose a drug over any other it would have to be marijuarna for sure..... I've used ecstacy, acid, meth, speed and alcohol. The most fun I felt was always marijuarna because it was the fun sessions with other people I remember best.
I really could never handle the comedowns either off the stronger drugs so marijuarna was my choice drug I would always come back too. But with that said after smoking it recreationally for about 3 years I had a psychotic episode from marijuarna I lost touch with reality. I was 18 and in a psychiatric unit put on all sorts of medication and threatened with electro convulsive therapy ect.
When I got out my friends were mixed with there felling to my newly aquired mental illness it has a stigma about it which today is still around. I was jealous of my friends who smoked it all day everyday with little to no consequence. I felt like an outcast and had to travel in different circles as most my friends were dope friends.
After a couple years I thought id give it another go and when I was stoned i always was weary and never smoked so much hat i was off my skull but pleasantly stoned. At 24 I completely crashed not just from marijuarna but all the drugs mentioned above. I became agoraphobic and panic attacks were a daily occurence. I quit my job and lost my relationship because of this crash.
This crash lasted a few years of the worst years of my life. Could hardly do anything and suicide looked like a good option. At 27 at the break-down of my relationship I suffered a nervous breakdown which brought me to the bottom 6 months of living hell I can asuure you.
With new medication from my family doctor I was back on my feet ready to fight another day. I was feeling pretty good. I then got onto marijuarna and finally meth which was pretty much the hardest thing Ive done in terms of drugs. I got off the meth and marijuarna and have been clean off drugs for about 4 months now maybe more I didn't count.
Marijuarna in the end was more trouble than it was worth. I drink alcohol to this day and would consider myself a problem drinker but it is leagues better than the life on the other substances. I will never touch meth again for sure. As for marijuarna it is more of removing yourself from those types of people that will get you on a path to a good future just thought i would let you know that as you know yourself marijuarna effects all of us differently.
I would also like to add I became very inward when smoking marijuarna and uninterested in sex. My whole personality changed it was weird glad I don't smoke it anymore.
I really could never handle the comedowns either off the stronger drugs so marijuarna was my choice drug I would always come back too. But with that said after smoking it recreationally for about 3 years I had a psychotic episode from marijuarna I lost touch with reality. I was 18 and in a psychiatric unit put on all sorts of medication and threatened with electro convulsive therapy ect.
When I got out my friends were mixed with there felling to my newly aquired mental illness it has a stigma about it which today is still around. I was jealous of my friends who smoked it all day everyday with little to no consequence. I felt like an outcast and had to travel in different circles as most my friends were dope friends.
After a couple years I thought id give it another go and when I was stoned i always was weary and never smoked so much hat i was off my skull but pleasantly stoned. At 24 I completely crashed not just from marijuarna but all the drugs mentioned above. I became agoraphobic and panic attacks were a daily occurence. I quit my job and lost my relationship because of this crash.
This crash lasted a few years of the worst years of my life. Could hardly do anything and suicide looked like a good option. At 27 at the break-down of my relationship I suffered a nervous breakdown which brought me to the bottom 6 months of living hell I can asuure you.
With new medication from my family doctor I was back on my feet ready to fight another day. I was feeling pretty good. I then got onto marijuarna and finally meth which was pretty much the hardest thing Ive done in terms of drugs. I got off the meth and marijuarna and have been clean off drugs for about 4 months now maybe more I didn't count.
Marijuarna in the end was more trouble than it was worth. I drink alcohol to this day and would consider myself a problem drinker but it is leagues better than the life on the other substances. I will never touch meth again for sure. As for marijuarna it is more of removing yourself from those types of people that will get you on a path to a good future just thought i would let you know that as you know yourself marijuarna effects all of us differently.
I would also like to add I became very inward when smoking marijuarna and uninterested in sex. My whole personality changed it was weird glad I don't smoke it anymore.
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I did same thing for roughly same amount of time.
Difference is that even tho' others would smoke it, I just didn't ever tend to with them.
Made me uncomfortable. My DH was a daily user (I did it before bed) and always did/does smoke with friends that are over. This is a nightly thing.
Sometimes I wonder if he will ever stop or is he going to be 80 years old smoking a joint? It's a odd image. Ick.
The best thing I can imagine for you is to either stay away from your friend for a time or just flat out tell him it affects YOU poorly. If he's a real friend, and he must be for you guys to still be hanging after all this time, I'd like to think he'd understand.
Friends don't generally ever want to see another pal in trouble....
I hope it works out for you!
btw - my neighbor asks me every time he hangs out here to smoke with him. Sometimes I gotta say 4 frigging times "NO".
"It's just not something I like to do. Smoke away tho'...it doesn't phase me but bugger off on asking me constantly!"
Actually, the last 2 times he was here he didn't ask. Guess he got it, finally. bah!
Difference is that even tho' others would smoke it, I just didn't ever tend to with them.
Made me uncomfortable. My DH was a daily user (I did it before bed) and always did/does smoke with friends that are over. This is a nightly thing.
Sometimes I wonder if he will ever stop or is he going to be 80 years old smoking a joint? It's a odd image. Ick.
The best thing I can imagine for you is to either stay away from your friend for a time or just flat out tell him it affects YOU poorly. If he's a real friend, and he must be for you guys to still be hanging after all this time, I'd like to think he'd understand.
Friends don't generally ever want to see another pal in trouble....
I hope it works out for you!
btw - my neighbor asks me every time he hangs out here to smoke with him. Sometimes I gotta say 4 frigging times "NO".
"It's just not something I like to do. Smoke away tho'...it doesn't phase me but bugger off on asking me constantly!"
Actually, the last 2 times he was here he didn't ask. Guess he got it, finally. bah!
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