Question about Relapsing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 1
Question about Relapsing
Hey everyone this is my first time posting here. I'm just sort of lost right now because I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this (I just don't want to alarm anyone). I've been struggling with addiction to benzos (xanax and klonopin) and opiates (opanas, oxycontin, and vicodin) for a couple years. I went into detox in October of 2010 and was clean for a year, until I relapsed in October 2011.
To keep a long story short: I was taking klonopin and vicodin about once a week since my first relapse. I started to feel really sick (both mentally and physically) in between doses and I noticed that my tolerance to both the vicodin and klonopin remained extremely high, even after 2 weeks of abstinence. My last dose of klonopin was a couple weeks ago, and my last vicodin was about 4 days ago and I've felt like crap ever since. I've been getting a lot of anxiety, racing/weird/intrusive thoughts, some paranoia and insomnia. When I actually do sleep it almost feels like I'm awake while I'm dreaming, like I'm aware of the physical world around me but I'm still dreaming and I can't move or anything, if that makes any sense. I'm not really getting too many physical symptoms other than nauseousness, itching at times (usually in my legs) and chest pain / palpitations.
(Edit: I figured the doses I was taking would be relevant eh? I have been taking between 2-6mg of klonopin and 25-60mg of hydro, which is quite a lot less than what I used to take before I first got clean)
So basically my question is this: Am I losing my mind, or is this actually withdrawal? Can relapsing bring back withdrawal symptoms this hard, even if I wasn't taking the drugs every day? It certainly feels like it and I've heard a lot of people say that relapsing kicks in the addiction all over again; but sometimes my symptoms get so severe that I can't help but wonder if I'm just going crazy.
To keep a long story short: I was taking klonopin and vicodin about once a week since my first relapse. I started to feel really sick (both mentally and physically) in between doses and I noticed that my tolerance to both the vicodin and klonopin remained extremely high, even after 2 weeks of abstinence. My last dose of klonopin was a couple weeks ago, and my last vicodin was about 4 days ago and I've felt like crap ever since. I've been getting a lot of anxiety, racing/weird/intrusive thoughts, some paranoia and insomnia. When I actually do sleep it almost feels like I'm awake while I'm dreaming, like I'm aware of the physical world around me but I'm still dreaming and I can't move or anything, if that makes any sense. I'm not really getting too many physical symptoms other than nauseousness, itching at times (usually in my legs) and chest pain / palpitations.
(Edit: I figured the doses I was taking would be relevant eh? I have been taking between 2-6mg of klonopin and 25-60mg of hydro, which is quite a lot less than what I used to take before I first got clean)
So basically my question is this: Am I losing my mind, or is this actually withdrawal? Can relapsing bring back withdrawal symptoms this hard, even if I wasn't taking the drugs every day? It certainly feels like it and I've heard a lot of people say that relapsing kicks in the addiction all over again; but sometimes my symptoms get so severe that I can't help but wonder if I'm just going crazy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Parabola - welcome to SR!
We are not medical experts, but most of us have used, stopped, relapsed, etc. much as you have. Lots of us also used similar drugs.
I was clean once for about 6 months and went back to using opiates and I still remember the heart palipitations I had that first day of returning to use. I never remembered having that before. Thus, I think we are all wired differently, react differently to using, stopping, relapsing and the w/d symptoms that occur stopping and the strange events that occur when we pick back up. Also, the mix of drugs and doses probably affects the symptoms.
I can tell you that I had the same type of sleep issues you describe when w/d's set in. It was like a twilight feeling. Not really asleep and not really awake.
I have been clean and in recovery over 13 months now and feel I am finally on the right road and I am most grateful to have found SR. It has not been an easy path, but it is worth all the pain to get to this point. I cannot tell you how much I laugh now in a day and I rarely laughed when using. I sleep very well and by and large, feel great. I won't tell you that now and again that devil creeps into my thoughts, but I get busy and move on.
Keep posting on SR. Lots of kindred spirits here to support you.
We are not medical experts, but most of us have used, stopped, relapsed, etc. much as you have. Lots of us also used similar drugs.
I was clean once for about 6 months and went back to using opiates and I still remember the heart palipitations I had that first day of returning to use. I never remembered having that before. Thus, I think we are all wired differently, react differently to using, stopping, relapsing and the w/d symptoms that occur stopping and the strange events that occur when we pick back up. Also, the mix of drugs and doses probably affects the symptoms.
I can tell you that I had the same type of sleep issues you describe when w/d's set in. It was like a twilight feeling. Not really asleep and not really awake.
I have been clean and in recovery over 13 months now and feel I am finally on the right road and I am most grateful to have found SR. It has not been an easy path, but it is worth all the pain to get to this point. I cannot tell you how much I laugh now in a day and I rarely laughed when using. I sleep very well and by and large, feel great. I won't tell you that now and again that devil creeps into my thoughts, but I get busy and move on.
Keep posting on SR. Lots of kindred spirits here to support you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 200
Welcome to SR Parabola,
W/d'ing from opiates is bad, but w/d'ing from a benzo such as Klonopin can be life-threatening without being under the care of a physician. I've heard of people going CT off Klonopin and actually having seizures. I don't want to scare you, but I'm concerned. We're not supposed to give medical advice, but I really think you might want to think about going to the ER and just being honest with them. They could help you detox again, but safely.
~Pandie
W/d'ing from opiates is bad, but w/d'ing from a benzo such as Klonopin can be life-threatening without being under the care of a physician. I've heard of people going CT off Klonopin and actually having seizures. I don't want to scare you, but I'm concerned. We're not supposed to give medical advice, but I really think you might want to think about going to the ER and just being honest with them. They could help you detox again, but safely.
~Pandie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Originally Posted by Pandie 
Welcome to SR Parabola,
W/d'ing from opiates is bad, but w/d'ing from a benzo such as Klonopin can be life-threatening without being under the care of a physician.
~Pandie
W/d'ing from opiates is bad, but w/d'ing from a benzo such as Klonopin can be life-threatening without being under the care of a physician.
~Pandie
Benzo W/D is nothing to mess with! Opiate W/D is a mofo but benzo W/D is NOT something to mess with at all. Benzo W/D can present some serious medical issues that should be addressed by a licensed medical professional!
Seriously!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
I see a mental health Dr for anxiety& am only on 1 Mg - 1.5 Mg klonopin per day under his care. This is a very low dose, but my doc is always telling me that when I'm ready to go off the klonopin - he will be monitoring that taper. So I think that the amount you were taking should really be taken seriously & u should see a Dr for care & advise since klonopin effects the nervous system. Prayers are with u & don't be afraid to do something healthy for yourself. I think all of us at one time or another have not been afraid to lie to a Dr to get meds, so why are we so scared to be honest to get off them??
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