What to tell people?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 81
What to tell people?
Hi guys! I haven't been on here in a while. I just wanted your thoughts on something that I'm sure has been posted before, but I'm going to ask again.
What do you tell people, especially acquaintances, when they ask you to come to their birthday or any event at a bar? I realized that I do not have fun at these venues and am no longer going to put myself in these places just because I feel obligated to attend an event. However, it's really hard to tell people why I don't want to go. If it's close friends they obviously know. But I feel like people just think I'm making excuses, such as 'The bar isn't really my scene' because generally people who don't like bars would go anyway, just because it's a special occasion. I also don't want to lie, but I don't really want to say 'Because I'm an alcoholic and this isn't the place for me.'
Basically, I just don't want people to think that I'm avoiding their event because of them, but I don't feel the need for everyone to know my situation. Regardless, I won't be going to the bar but I just wish there was a better way to explain why, without telling my whole story to acquaintances. What would you say!?
PS. 10 and a half months sober, yay
What do you tell people, especially acquaintances, when they ask you to come to their birthday or any event at a bar? I realized that I do not have fun at these venues and am no longer going to put myself in these places just because I feel obligated to attend an event. However, it's really hard to tell people why I don't want to go. If it's close friends they obviously know. But I feel like people just think I'm making excuses, such as 'The bar isn't really my scene' because generally people who don't like bars would go anyway, just because it's a special occasion. I also don't want to lie, but I don't really want to say 'Because I'm an alcoholic and this isn't the place for me.'
Basically, I just don't want people to think that I'm avoiding their event because of them, but I don't feel the need for everyone to know my situation. Regardless, I won't be going to the bar but I just wish there was a better way to explain why, without telling my whole story to acquaintances. What would you say!?
PS. 10 and a half months sober, yay
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Good for you staying strong in your recovery and recognizing your limits. As far as a response, how about a polite, "Sorry, but no." or "Thank you so much for asking, but I can't attend."
Do acquaintances really need a reason? They ask, you say no. If they push for a reason, you can just say you have something else scheduled.
Hang in there. Ten months is awesome!
Do acquaintances really need a reason? They ask, you say no. If they push for a reason, you can just say you have something else scheduled.
Hang in there. Ten months is awesome!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I agree with Carl, acquaintances don't need a reason. They make a suggestion and it's up to you to agree to it or not. You don't owe them an explanation. If you feel that the relationship might be damaged because of that, maybe you could suggest meeting for coffee with that person in the next few days.
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