How do I continue?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: queens, ny
Posts: 2
How do I continue?
Hello. Well, Let me tell you why I'm here. I had no intentions of getting sober. I truely enjoy drinking and diddnt feel I needed to stop.
Im 42 years old and have been drinking since I was about 13. Nothing heavy just beer and oh yeah I smoked marijuana. With the birth of my son 7 years ago I had to stop smoking or possibly lose my job becuase of random drug testing. I need the health care from my job so I stopped smoking instantly!
That was easier than I thought.
Heres where the problem came in. I no longer got that smoking and beer high I loved so much so I needed to supplement my high with something else. I went through a trial and error test with different hard liquors and really enjoyed the Vodka High. I was hooked.
My wife knew I quit smoking and knew I drank beer but since the Vodka has no smell I became a closet Vodka drinker. I hid the vodka and kept the beers in plain veiw.
The years have past by and Ive kept it a secret but I definately feel life has passed me by since Ive been drinking the Vodka.
I drink a 1.75 ltr a week with about an 18 pack bud. I now it dosent sound like much but it would keep me well lubricated all weekend and with 1 swig and a beer during the weekdays it was just enough to keep me lit all week after work as well.
After this last New years holiday which I had three days off, I wound up drinking all that in 3 days instead of 7. I woke up that monday after New years with a medical condition that frightened the hell out of me. Im not sure if the alcohol contributed to it but for the past 7 days I havent had a drink.
I do feel I want to continue not drinking but Im not sure when im recovered fully that I will be able to stop. I feel better today and I sure would like a swig and a beer. Temptation is strong and I feel by this weekend Ill heading to the liquor store. 1 taste and that familiar high and Im sure Ill be back to where I left off.
I always say Ill buy the bottle and Ill try and control my drinking, just 1 swig, pace myself, and just enjoy. But as hard as I try I just keep swiggn and enjoyin and before long Im at the point of no return.
What can I do to get past this cycle? Have I been drinking too long and its just the way its gonna be? Every day will be a struggle, Heck Like I said from the beginning I really enjoy drinking.
Why cant I just get it out of my mind?
I know if I stop I can never have another drink. Im not sure I can live without another drink. It sucks I cannot control my drinking and just enjoy it on occasion.
How do I continue?
Im 42 years old and have been drinking since I was about 13. Nothing heavy just beer and oh yeah I smoked marijuana. With the birth of my son 7 years ago I had to stop smoking or possibly lose my job becuase of random drug testing. I need the health care from my job so I stopped smoking instantly!
That was easier than I thought.
Heres where the problem came in. I no longer got that smoking and beer high I loved so much so I needed to supplement my high with something else. I went through a trial and error test with different hard liquors and really enjoyed the Vodka High. I was hooked.
My wife knew I quit smoking and knew I drank beer but since the Vodka has no smell I became a closet Vodka drinker. I hid the vodka and kept the beers in plain veiw.
The years have past by and Ive kept it a secret but I definately feel life has passed me by since Ive been drinking the Vodka.
I drink a 1.75 ltr a week with about an 18 pack bud. I now it dosent sound like much but it would keep me well lubricated all weekend and with 1 swig and a beer during the weekdays it was just enough to keep me lit all week after work as well.
After this last New years holiday which I had three days off, I wound up drinking all that in 3 days instead of 7. I woke up that monday after New years with a medical condition that frightened the hell out of me. Im not sure if the alcohol contributed to it but for the past 7 days I havent had a drink.
I do feel I want to continue not drinking but Im not sure when im recovered fully that I will be able to stop. I feel better today and I sure would like a swig and a beer. Temptation is strong and I feel by this weekend Ill heading to the liquor store. 1 taste and that familiar high and Im sure Ill be back to where I left off.
I always say Ill buy the bottle and Ill try and control my drinking, just 1 swig, pace myself, and just enjoy. But as hard as I try I just keep swiggn and enjoyin and before long Im at the point of no return.
What can I do to get past this cycle? Have I been drinking too long and its just the way its gonna be? Every day will be a struggle, Heck Like I said from the beginning I really enjoy drinking.
Why cant I just get it out of my mind?
I know if I stop I can never have another drink. Im not sure I can live without another drink. It sucks I cannot control my drinking and just enjoy it on occasion.
How do I continue?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((timmy))) - welcome to SR!! For most people who realize they have a problem with alcohol, they've crossed the line where it was "fun, enjoyable" to "OMG, I can't live without it!!!" No one knows when they're going to cross that line, but once it's crossed? You can't go back.
Many people will try to moderate - oh, just a swig here and there, only drink on weekends, etc. The ones who have crossed that line? They can't do that, at least not for very long.
Only you can decide if you have an "alcohol problem" or are an "alcoholic" but I really don't think you'd be here if the drink wasn't causing problems in your life.
SR is FULL of people who have been-there-done-that, so you're not alone.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Many people will try to moderate - oh, just a swig here and there, only drink on weekends, etc. The ones who have crossed that line? They can't do that, at least not for very long.
Only you can decide if you have an "alcohol problem" or are an "alcoholic" but I really don't think you'd be here if the drink wasn't causing problems in your life.
SR is FULL of people who have been-there-done-that, so you're not alone.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Timmy -
A couple years ago, I couldn't have imagined life without alcohol, either. I didn't want to stop completely, but finally realized (like you said) that once I started drinking, I was never satisfied. I never just wanted one or two anyway.
I'm glad you've joined us. A lot of what you wrote sounds pretty familiar, so keep reading - you'll definitely see that you're not alone.......
You said that the amount you're drinking "doesn't sound like much....." Just to put some perspective on it, if you're drinking a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka, that's equivalent to about 39 drinks. Add 18 beers and you have 57 drinks in a week, or a little more than 8 days per day on average. The healthy limit (moderate drinking) for men is 2 drinks per day. Food for thought......
A couple years ago, I couldn't have imagined life without alcohol, either. I didn't want to stop completely, but finally realized (like you said) that once I started drinking, I was never satisfied. I never just wanted one or two anyway.
I'm glad you've joined us. A lot of what you wrote sounds pretty familiar, so keep reading - you'll definitely see that you're not alone.......
You said that the amount you're drinking "doesn't sound like much....." Just to put some perspective on it, if you're drinking a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka, that's equivalent to about 39 drinks. Add 18 beers and you have 57 drinks in a week, or a little more than 8 days per day on average. The healthy limit (moderate drinking) for men is 2 drinks per day. Food for thought......
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by timmy2times 
Im not sure I can live without another drink. It sucks I cannot control my drinking and just enjoy it on occasion.
Take it day by day, each day will take care of itself.
Now at nearly 8 months the fact that I will not drink today doesn't bother me, and I do not worry about a lifetime without alcohol. Many people get thought life on a day to day basis without the need for a buzz or getting out of it. I have now joined them.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
At the end, when my drinking was at its worst, I knew I had to quit. It wasn't fun anymore, it didn't feel good anymore, and I had to drink in order to stop the shakes that would start first thing in the morning. But I kept asking myself, "If I don't have booze, what do I have?" I could not envision a life without alcohol. I think we've all been there. Now that I'm sober, I can't envision going BACK to that life with alcohol.
Your story is so similar to the rest of us! We've all been there. I hope that gives you some comfort and encouragement. Keep coming back - there is all kinds of support here.
Your story is so similar to the rest of us! We've all been there. I hope that gives you some comfort and encouragement. Keep coming back - there is all kinds of support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: queens, ny
Posts: 2
Hmm, its amazing that my situation and my life with alcohol is so simular to the story of others. I really felt everybody used and enjoyed alcohol diferently.
I can see though, that we probably all endulged in different ways but the outcome is always the same.
I knew I should have slowed down but as you all already knew that was impossible. I diddnt actually think I drank that much but ARTSOUL put it all in perspective.
I kinda always felt that there is someone out there drinking far more than me and when I get to that point, then I should think about stopping. I really felt I had it under control..
Wow denial is a B----.
Thank you all who replied to my original post. It really does help if others understand your situation. Ive been a closet drinker for so long Im not sure anybody knows me any other way. I guess people around me slowly adapted to my behavior while drinking. I truly became a professional. But not the kind I'd hope I would become.
Todays day 8. This is not going to be easy.
I can see though, that we probably all endulged in different ways but the outcome is always the same.
I knew I should have slowed down but as you all already knew that was impossible. I diddnt actually think I drank that much but ARTSOUL put it all in perspective.
I kinda always felt that there is someone out there drinking far more than me and when I get to that point, then I should think about stopping. I really felt I had it under control..
Wow denial is a B----.
Thank you all who replied to my original post. It really does help if others understand your situation. Ive been a closet drinker for so long Im not sure anybody knows me any other way. I guess people around me slowly adapted to my behavior while drinking. I truly became a professional. But not the kind I'd hope I would become.
Todays day 8. This is not going to be easy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 34
Welcome Timmy..I was in a high stress job where my adrenaline went through the roof. I would come home and need 3 drinks just to come back down, but then couldn't stop. I am now retired which has helped but started, like your story, sneaking drinks behind my wife's back but letting her see what I wanted her to see. I am finding that coming here and reading stories is helping me. I have found many similar stories to mine. I am only on day 12 but so far reading here daily is keeping me on path.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,589
Hi Timmy,
No, it's not easy, for sure. And, you need to be highly motivated to stop drinking. For me, I had to know for sure, that drinking was no longer an option. And, I think it's important to remember that stopping drinking is the beginning. To recover, I needed to make a lot of changes in myself and my life.
No, it's not easy, for sure. And, you need to be highly motivated to stop drinking. For me, I had to know for sure, that drinking was no longer an option. And, I think it's important to remember that stopping drinking is the beginning. To recover, I needed to make a lot of changes in myself and my life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
some great advice here Timmy
SR really helped me when those thoughts of 'maybe I'm not that bad' came calling.
If you want to change your life - this is a great place to be part of
good to have you with us
D
SR really helped me when those thoughts of 'maybe I'm not that bad' came calling.
If you want to change your life - this is a great place to be part of
good to have you with us
D
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