Freedom1990

I knew this was coming, and to be honest, I can't believe the grandkids' stepmom stuck with their dad as long as she did. She was with him for 9 years.

She moved out before the new year, taking the three boys that she and the dad have.

I got in touch with her and told her how sorry I was for the situation, and asked if there was anything that she needed. I've felt badly over the past few years as I wanted to be there more for her after she lost her mother (late 40's) to cancer, but I was so caught up in school, health issues, and chronic depression that I fell very short of that goal.

She has been the ONLY stable parent figure my grandchildren have had. She has been the disciplinarian, participated in all their activities, including Girl Scouts for Alexandria. She's always let me know when there was a concert for one or both of the kids and invited me. She's put up with a barrage of verbal abuse from Alexandria because AD has filled that child's mind with venom for years.

She kept apologizing to me for no longer being there for my grandkids, and I told her she had nothing to apologize for. I appreciate with all my heart what she has done for those two kids who aren't even biologically hers.

She said all the hard work she did with them was undone, and I knew that would be the case once she got tired of a non-participatory parent. He is already letting both kids talk to AD when a no-contact order was issued because of the drug charges and she lost custody of my granddaughter. AD has also been allowed to see them. He's a spineless coward who refuses to stand up to my bullying, manipulative AD.

Of course the rest of my family, more my parents than anyone else, are wringing their hands and losing sleep over this.

I told Mom the other day that after everything I have been through with those grandkids, the failures of CPS and the system, the father actually allowing my granddaughter to live with AD, I am tired, and I refuse to lose sleep over this.

I am trusting in my higher power that he will also watch over those kids. If I have communication with them, that's great. If not, then I will continue to pray for them as I already do.

Alexandria will be 17 this summer, and the damage has been done. I don't foresee a great future for her, but then I try to stay in today. Johnathan is 11 and there is a great deal of damage there too. He is sullen, withdrawn and usually talks in a whisper. He reminds me of his dad.

I refuse to let myself be eaten alive by circumstances, events, and people that I have zero control over.

I know that my higher power is always there with me, and I've placed the grandkids in his loving hands.

I'll continue to move forward in my own recovery, and be grateful for what I do have in my life. I'll continue to support the stepmother in this painful journey for her. She told me the other day she just wants to be loved for who she is. I told her she deserves that.

Thanks for letting me share.

hope213

prayers are for you & those children. God will handle this,

dollydo

I, like others are here for you, if you need anyone to talk to...you know where to find me.

Keep your focus, keep your trust in the HP, there is a master plan for those children, one that we cannot anticipate or change.

As ever, your friend...Dolly

Freedom1990

Thanks ladies for your support. I had a good day today, very productive as far as housework, and I'm getting ready to hop in the shower and head to a meeting.

I have no doubt there will be moments when I slip in my codependency recovery, but I know exactly where to go, and who to talk to when that happens!

Ann

What Hope said.

You are an amazing person who has been through so much...you will get through this too. We're here to cheer you on.

Hugs