Doubledee

Hello Im 21 and I've been off drink for one week and I'm already struggling. I've been drinking on and off since I was 14 for all the wrong reasons ( anxiety, boredom) and things have gotten out of control lately so I've decided to give it up. I've also had bait of weed problem, but I haven't smoked in a year and I've alsos tried other drugs but I've been clean for a month from them now.

I've found myself aggressive while I'm drinking, found myself drink driving. I've got a court date in two weeks for a drink related incident. I find that drink doesn't agree with me and my behaviour is too unpredictable. However I am a student in my second year of study. I am doing okay in my exams. I am just worried about how I will be able to socialise without it and of losing friends etc. Do your have tips on how to get through social situations without alcohol.

Thanks for any help. Hopefully this site will help me and hopefully I'll be able to give people advice eventually.

jocata

Welcome Double!! You will definately get tons of support and advice here. Keep posting and reading as much as you can, especially when you feel down or get the urge to drink. Good luck at school.

God bless.

Threshold

I am really proud of you. You've recognized your issues and taken them head on. That's awesome. The struggle you describe is a common one, and if you hang around here and keep reading, you will learn more and more about how people reshape their lives when they stop using.

The social situation is a tough one, because many of us used with friends, and it was one of our main social activities. I won't lie, there is likely going to be a lonely stretch until you find some other activities and some other relationships. But in the mean time, you can fill the space with learning about recovery, your school work etc.

You are in the very early stages of getting off booze, and it will take some time for the fog to clear. Many of us find ourselves struggling when our feelings, previously numbed by booze and drugs, bubble to the surface. We don't know what to do with them, it's scary and we feel we want to do something to take the edge off. But using again isn't the answers. Our feelings won't harm us, but sometimes the way we choose to avoid them will kill us.

Coming here and sharing those feelings, or finding a real time support group can help tremendously. We find out that we are not alone in the way we feel, and that others have gone through it and come out shining.

If we continue participating in healthy activities, things we enjoy, or pursue new interests, we find new friends. The relationships no longer revolve around drinking and using. Our lives begin to shape up.

By addressing this now, you have saved yourself decades of wasted time, energy and potential. Many of us don't wake up to the reality of our substance abuse until we are in our middle age and our lives have tanked around us.

I'm so glad you've joined our recovery community.

ovrock

The fact that you're here means you want to change ur life. Welcome to SR and good luck to you..

Dee74

Hi Doubledee

It's true not drinking can mean many changes to our lives and the way we live them - but noone would stay sober if it meant a worse life

I've never regretted my decision

You're not alone DD - you'll find a lot of support here

Welcome!

D

Doubledee

Thank you everyone who offered advice. Wow this post was five years ago. I don't think I logged in after I posted this message, though I wish I had. My life has gotten quite out of control recently and I'm going to give sobriety another go. I feel posting on this forum more often will be a good start.

dwtbd

Welcome back
It's never too early to quit, especially if you drink to get drunk. I wish I 'd have quit in my twenties and not tried to live with the pointlessness of it for two more decades.
wish you well and hope to see you around, you can do this

Dee74

welcome back Doubledee

D

Hevyn

I'm so glad you found your way back to us, Doubledee. We have to be ready - sounds like you are now. Please do stay with us. I didn't think it could possibly make any difference when I first joined SR - but I was wrong. The caring advice and suggestions I found here helped me summon the courage to change my life. I know you can turn things around. Keep posting.

Gottalife

Welcome back DD. You must be 26 now. How did your studies go?

I gahtheer from your post that things might be worse now than they were five years ago. Would this be true? If it is, it seems to be a thing with alcholism. It always gets worse over time.

It might be wise to think about a plan for recovery. I found it very hard to stay focussed when my plan was just not drinking. It worked ok, sometimes for a whole day, but I always seemed to forget why I was doing it, and end up drunk gain.

Doubledee

Thank you everyone for the replies

@Hevyn. Thank you for the words, I do feel ready now, though theres still a tempting voice in the back of my head that says 'detox for a while, then you'll be ok when you're back on it'. How does one deal with these thoughts?

@Gottalife. I've just turned 27. And I got my degree. Due to the people I hang around and drink with, drinking often ends up with using drugs. Thats a huge reason I'm quitting. What sort of plan did you implement? I would love to hear. I currently have none other than posting on this and letting family and friends know that I'm off it.

least

Welcome back! I hope our support can help you get sober for good this time.

FreeOwl

Getting through social situations without alcohol in the early days for me was largely about avoiding social situations centered on alcohol.

These days, I have created a new life for myself, a new me, a more joyful existence and a new me that doesn't want, need or desire alcohol.

Getting there was a matter of choosing to live that way, doing the work to free myself from addiction and from the very notions and beliefs I'd built around the idea that alcohol was a requirement of happiness, fun, enjoyment.... (pro tip; it's NOT. Not at all. In fact, it runs counter to all those things).

Having a sobriety plan, working on yourself in a physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological sense and building a YOU that not only doesn't need alcohol but actually VALUES and DESIRES sobriety is the way to get there.

It begins with a choice.... it's followed up with actions.... it grows into a truly grateful, joyful, present life of abundance.

firstymer

Welcome back, Doubledee. I hope you will stay here with us. I have found a lot of support and helpful advice from the good people here.

Doubledee

Thank you all.

Hevyn

Doubledee - As to that voice you mentioned, I listened to it many times. I'd get sober & start feeling better, only to try once again to have 'a few' once in a while. By the time I finally quit, after 30 yrs., I had nearly destroyed my life with all the recklessness. At that point there was no doubt that I couldn't touch it. I was a very slow learner. If I had stopped at 27 my entire life would have been different.

I hope your day has gone well.

Gottalife

Hi DD. Hope you had an enjoyable birthday. My son just turned twenty six. I got sober when I was 22, 11 years before he was born.

After many failed attempts with everything available at the time, doctor, counsellor, court order, institution etc I ran out of options.

I adopted the AA plan which was not only much simpler than most of the other approaches, but it also worked.

I didn't put my self up for AA just off the bat so to speak, I actually called them and spent some time with a recovered alcoholic. I asked questions about AA and we talked about alcoholism and my experience. After that talk I had a good understanding of the problem, and the solution seemed fairly straight forward, if not always easy. I was at a point where I would have crawled naked across a field of broken glass if it was necessary to get out of the mess I was in.

Thankfully, the path I had chosen was a little easier than that and had the bonus of being immensely rewarding.

Doubledee

@Hevyn.. thanks for the words. At least you have learned now, some people never reflect and realise how alcohol is affecting them.

@Gottalife.. Thank you. I did have a good birthday. I haven't checked AA yet, but perhaps that is the step I need to take too. Thank you for the advice.