LSZ

Forgive the question. It is a sincere one though. One person mentioned called people who drink in moderation as normal drinkers. Is that all that therre is to it really? What makes one an alcholic or even a problem drinker exactly? Is it truly just how much? or whether you NEED to have a beer type of thing. I really just don't get it sometimes. My "habit" when it peaks, is essentially a 6 pack of beer, every single day. And sometimes like 12 on a weekend night. I KNOW that is a disaster. I'm not saying that is good. But let's say I was having 2 Beers, every single day, and I managed that, why is that actually OK? It's healthier? What if I feel like I NEED those 2 beers? Does that mean I'm alcoholic and should quit, even though I am keeping to what even my Doctor said would be fine? I'm all mixed up right now. I am "quitting" mostly becuase I want to lose weight. But I feel like, if I went out and bought "two" lite beers and brought them home and drank, I have FAILED. So what am I?

overthis

I think how much you drink isn't really the deciding factor on whether you are an alcoholic or a "normal" drinker. I think a person is an alcoholic if alcohol becomes number one in their life. If you think about alcohol 24/7, you are not a normal drinker. If you have cravings constantly, you are addicted. When alcohol is a "habit", then you are an alcoholic.

Anna

It's up to you to decide whether you are an alcoholic or not.

There are no hard and fast numbers that will pin down the label of alcoholic. Is alcohol causing you problems in your life?

Deserto

I guess my question would be -- do you enjoy just having two beers? Or do you find yourself pretty consistently wanting more after you've had two? I think that is more telling than the amount you drink. Once you start drinking, what happens?

I wouldn't worry too much about labels. I'd look at that question first.

LSZ

I enjoy 2 more than none. But I guess that does not tell me much. I definately enjoy 6 more than 2 though. At the moment I don't "enjoy" none. (And I have gone 10 years before without any) I guess I need to replace it with something.

doggonecarl

I not sure I know what a normal drinker is, but I'm darn sure I'm not one.

I remember years ago going to the doctor and him telling me, Carl, don't exceed two beers a day. So I tried. And for a while I was successful. But sometimes I had three. And occasionally four. Every once and a while I would have five beers. Every so often I'd have 6. And rarely, like on weekends, I'd have more....see where I'm going with that? And all the while convincing myself that I was still drinking moderately.

It is like what Overthis said, It's not how much you drink, but how much you think about drinking...You are thinking a lot about your drinking, LSZ. That's not a bad thing, it just isn't what I think "normal" drinkers do.

Programmer27

I knew that I was an alcoholic when...

I would "plan" my drinking

I blacked out almost everytime

I went to jail

I would see a beer commercial and salivate

I could go on and on about the reasons why I'm an alcoholic, but most importantly... I knew I was an alcoholic when it started impacting my life negatively... plain and simple.

CRAZE

In my oppinion a nomal drinker is someone who can have an occasional drink and then not think about it, and not try to justify it to themselves or others, and not question whether or not they drink too much or have a problem.
This aint me.

Tigger41

I knew I was not a normal drinker when I would tell myself in the morning "I won't drink tonight" and by 8 pm I was on my second or third glass on wine.

Pigtails

I like this definition of a "normal" drinker. I would also say that it seems to me that some alcoholics, including myself, started off as a "normal" drinker and then progressed into a "problem" drinker or "heavy" drinker, and then an alcoholic. I can look back on times in my life when I rarely drank, and they were all towards the beginning of my drinking career. I lived in Europe for quite awhile during college and I could drink Italian grappa, French wine, etc. when offered, without ever thinking much about it or wanting more. In college in the states my drinking became a bit more frequent and a bit more heavier during the times I did drink, but I didn't think I had a problem, and looking back, I didn't, I was just a normal college kid, in fact I didn't drink as much as most college students seem to!

For me my alcohol became a problem when I started using it/relying on it to cope or to escape. It sneaks up on you and it isn't always a "this exact moment" kind of thing. I didn't even realize it for quite awhile. When I did start to realize it, I tried to rationalize it or ignore it but I was certainly thinking about it. "Is is normal to drink this much?" "Why am I doing this?" "Should/can I stop?" "I'm not as bad as that person!!" "Why doesn't this person seem to ever need to drink more than a drink or two?"

By the time I quit I knew my drinking wasn't normal because of the way it affected me. As others have said, alcohol was very "important" to me. It was a part of my social/celebratory functions, as well as a cure-all for when I had a stressful day or something went wrong. I always had an excuse to drink. I felt lost and bored if I went out and drinking wasn't involved. I started really looking at my drinking the day after, when I had hangovers and felt crappy emotionally and physically, and when I realized it was depressing me more and more, even giving me suicidal thoughts like life is worthless and pointless etc.

For quite awhile I still struggled at "having" to give up alcohol because I didn't feel I was as "bad off" as some other people-- I hadn't had anything really horrible happen to me due to drinking. But I had had some negative effects, including physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually... I knew that alcohol had taken things away from me, robbed me, even if it was mainly from opportunities to have the better life that I wanted to have.

It's a personal thing to figure out, and I have stopped trying to figure out if this person or that person is a "normal" drinker or has a drinking problem. I wish everyone well on their journeys in life and I hope that if they do have a problem, they get help. I know I was not a normal drinker and I am glad I quit before alcohol did even more damage in my life. That is really all I need to know. :-) Good luck finding your own truths and taking your own actions on your own life journey.

RV GTO

Great comments from everyone.

My two personal things are:

1. you can't stop without having one or two
2. thinking about drinking a good portion of the time

lookinforward

normal drinker?????.....If you are an alcoholic......when you are saying a six pack....that could be tall boys or actually ten beers. We as alcoholics tend to stretch the truth about our consumption or lack there of. Normal for me was 8 beers a night on an average night. They were tall boys and I exceeded that on many occasions.Normal just the same. The longer I go on this sober journey the more I realize that normal is in the eye of the beholder. I normally drank. Now I dont. It started to consume my life and scared the crap out of me. That is when I decided that I didnt want to be normal anymore. It stunk for a while but now my normal is to not drink and it saved my life. Best of luck on your journey.
Dave

lookinforward

oops. double post. that is pretty normal for me.

Dave

langkah

LSZ, I'm going to assume you're a normal potato eater and point out you may occasionally throw away potatos, that you like to see good potato salad at a party but don't eat some before going in case there's not enough provided. You don't keep a running total of the number of potatos you've eaten this week, you don't decide to not eat potatos and then eat 6 before you catch yourself up and go on to do that often for many years.

Alcohol is as critically important and meaningful and problematic to normal drinkers as potatos are to you.

TimFoot

My definition is someone who can have one after work with coworkers on the way home and then not drink again that night. Or has a glass of wine with dinner and then nothing else the rest of the night. Or two drinks with cocktail hour before dinner and no more the rest of the night.

FML

I think "normal" people are only affected by alcohol while they are drinking.
They don't spend a lot of time thinking about it or planning out how much or when they'll do it . They don't get hangovers often and they don't feel guilty about drinking. Having a drink isn't one of the first things that comes to their mind when they get stressed. They don't use alcohol to help them do things. It doesn't affect their health or mentality days after.

That's just my opinion and some of the reasons I decided Im an alcoholic. I didn't drink as often as I thought an alcoholic would drink, but when I drank it was way more than a "normal" person would ...and I thought about it way more too.

Also I don't think "normal' people bow to the Porcelain God nearly as much as I have