New here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 55
New here!
Well where do I start? I've been a lurker on here for a while.
I'm 23, and I've come to the conclusion that I have a problem and this beer has me by my manhood! When I was in my mid 20's I had a friend that would sell me beer, she worked at a gas station and didnt care if she sold it to me. I'd hit her up a few times a week, heck it was fun and I enjoyed getting my drink on, I never really drank in high school or had this much acsess to booze until that point.
At the time I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. My drinking started off slowly, but next thing I knew I always had to have beer in my fridge. For me it's hard to describe, it's like the beer got priority my lady at the time. It got to the point were she wanted to move in, I wouldn't have it due to my new secret, beer was my new priority. She got fed up and couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her move in, which led her to cheat and see if she could find greener pastures.
After that happend, it led me to drink more! We tried to give it another shot but still my little secret had priority over her and she had no clue, I've become very good at hiding my problem!
After five years of on and off we called it quits last winter. Last St pattys day I met a chic at a bar I went to high school with, go figure I was at a bar. I was blazed out of my mind laying on the hood of somebodys car in the parking lot smoking a cigerette. She found me and got me a cab ride home and we swapped numbers. We hit it off and dated for a few months, during those few months that's been the least I've drank in a long time. She had a kid which I made the mistake of growing attached to, her and her daughter kept me busy and my mind off booze, I thought things were turning around for me, then she called it quits.
After that ended I went back to my lonely beer fest, still in the same state. I drink every night and not in moderation, I lost my last job due to my drinking last year. I blamed it to my former employer due to losing multiple family members in a short span, which I did but losing three in a month and a half led me to lose control of my drinking. If it wasn't for my drinking I'd still have my last job.
I really don't know what to say or ask. I've confessed my problem to two people, a close buddy/former co worker and my brother. Both have shown concern but havnt done anything to help. I know it's not there job but I feel I can't do this by myself.
I never thought I'd end up like this, not what I ever imagined for my life. It kills me when I go to the store and see all the happy moms and dads with their kids. I'll be 24 soon and after all my stupid drunk nights, drinking all the time and realizing all the stupidity I used to do driving drunk puking while driving down the road with the truck door open and watching the lines in the road to make sure I was on a straight path.
I'm jelouse of sober happy people, I'd love to find a good woman to settle down with, but the path im on that will never happen unless I get strait. I have my feelings that I never want to drink when I get home, but as soon ad I pop the first one, it's on and I won't stop till i can pass out. In three years I havnt drank one day, and that was because of work and I got tied up in a hotel and couldn't find booze. I had the sweats like a mother amd couldn't sleep a bit.
I'll quit my rant and venting but what should I do guys?
I'm 23, and I've come to the conclusion that I have a problem and this beer has me by my manhood! When I was in my mid 20's I had a friend that would sell me beer, she worked at a gas station and didnt care if she sold it to me. I'd hit her up a few times a week, heck it was fun and I enjoyed getting my drink on, I never really drank in high school or had this much acsess to booze until that point.
At the time I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. My drinking started off slowly, but next thing I knew I always had to have beer in my fridge. For me it's hard to describe, it's like the beer got priority my lady at the time. It got to the point were she wanted to move in, I wouldn't have it due to my new secret, beer was my new priority. She got fed up and couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her move in, which led her to cheat and see if she could find greener pastures.
After that happend, it led me to drink more! We tried to give it another shot but still my little secret had priority over her and she had no clue, I've become very good at hiding my problem!
After five years of on and off we called it quits last winter. Last St pattys day I met a chic at a bar I went to high school with, go figure I was at a bar. I was blazed out of my mind laying on the hood of somebodys car in the parking lot smoking a cigerette. She found me and got me a cab ride home and we swapped numbers. We hit it off and dated for a few months, during those few months that's been the least I've drank in a long time. She had a kid which I made the mistake of growing attached to, her and her daughter kept me busy and my mind off booze, I thought things were turning around for me, then she called it quits.
After that ended I went back to my lonely beer fest, still in the same state. I drink every night and not in moderation, I lost my last job due to my drinking last year. I blamed it to my former employer due to losing multiple family members in a short span, which I did but losing three in a month and a half led me to lose control of my drinking. If it wasn't for my drinking I'd still have my last job.
I really don't know what to say or ask. I've confessed my problem to two people, a close buddy/former co worker and my brother. Both have shown concern but havnt done anything to help. I know it's not there job but I feel I can't do this by myself.
I never thought I'd end up like this, not what I ever imagined for my life. It kills me when I go to the store and see all the happy moms and dads with their kids. I'll be 24 soon and after all my stupid drunk nights, drinking all the time and realizing all the stupidity I used to do driving drunk puking while driving down the road with the truck door open and watching the lines in the road to make sure I was on a straight path.
I'm jelouse of sober happy people, I'd love to find a good woman to settle down with, but the path im on that will never happen unless I get strait. I have my feelings that I never want to drink when I get home, but as soon ad I pop the first one, it's on and I won't stop till i can pass out. In three years I havnt drank one day, and that was because of work and I got tied up in a hotel and couldn't find booze. I had the sweats like a mother amd couldn't sleep a bit.
I'll quit my rant and venting but what should I do guys?
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR!
In a word (or two), quit drinking. 
I know what you mean about drinking becoming more important than the people that you love. I know that I repeatedly put booze first before everything else in my life. I was a hardcore drinker throughout high school and in my early twenties and was probably 24 when I realized I had a problem. I tried to get sober over and over again and kept failing until I checked into rehab last April. I've been sober since then and I'm 26 now.
Drinking makes us do dumb things, but more importantly it keeps us from doing the things we really want. As you astutely observed yourself, you're not in any shape for a relationship while you're in your addiction.
Step one is to put down the bottle, I think everyone here agrees on that. What comes next is kind of up for debate/experiment, but I'd recommend checking out an AA meeting to see if you like them. They're easy to find and many people have great success getting sober through the AA program.
Whatever you do, stick around here and keep reading and posting. It'll only make you smarter.
Best wishes
what should I do guys?
I know what you mean about drinking becoming more important than the people that you love. I know that I repeatedly put booze first before everything else in my life. I was a hardcore drinker throughout high school and in my early twenties and was probably 24 when I realized I had a problem. I tried to get sober over and over again and kept failing until I checked into rehab last April. I've been sober since then and I'm 26 now.
Drinking makes us do dumb things, but more importantly it keeps us from doing the things we really want. As you astutely observed yourself, you're not in any shape for a relationship while you're in your addiction.
Step one is to put down the bottle, I think everyone here agrees on that. What comes next is kind of up for debate/experiment, but I'd recommend checking out an AA meeting to see if you like them. They're easy to find and many people have great success getting sober through the AA program.
Whatever you do, stick around here and keep reading and posting. It'll only make you smarter.
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Try imagining it after you've been drinking for 20 years—talk about getting used to it, lol.
Glad you found us, Tony. Someone here once described recovery as stepping off of a cliff blindfolded—and finding out the cliff was only a curb. That totally matches my experience. I thought life would be more stressful, less enjoyable, and basically boring without alcohol. Turned out I was wrong on all counts. I am so grateful I made the change.
You might surprise yourself, and end up liking it too.
Glad you found us, Tony. Someone here once described recovery as stepping off of a cliff blindfolded—and finding out the cliff was only a curb. That totally matches my experience. I thought life would be more stressful, less enjoyable, and basically boring without alcohol. Turned out I was wrong on all counts. I am so grateful I made the change.
You might surprise yourself, and end up liking it too.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
I have 2 months sober now, binge drinking had me enslaved for the last 10 years and before that was another 10 years of weed smoking with weekend beer binges. I had some fun back then, but 'real-life' was slipping away from me and I didn't even notice it (or care). My mind had me convinced that life was sh*t, I wasn't good enough etc... so I just wanted to get wasted everyday and to hell with my future, that has gotten me to where I am now, Recovery. It's hard work, but must be done, life is worth getting and staying sober even if it doesn't feel like it. I'm already feeling better about myself even though I know there is a lot of work (and hard times) ahead of me. Gotta be strong and do the right thing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 92
Tony, I know that feeling - "I can't imagine not drinking." Today is day 7 for me. I honestly didn't think I could make it this far. I found it helpful to just try not to drink today. Just one day and then we'll see.
And I think it is helpful to lean on others. You don't need to do this alone. Go to AA, talk to this group, a doctor, or whatever you need.
And one other thing I am experiencing - we don't suck. We are good people - we're just struggling.
You sound like a good person and I wish you the best. We are here for you. Hugs.
And I think it is helpful to lean on others. You don't need to do this alone. Go to AA, talk to this group, a doctor, or whatever you need.
And one other thing I am experiencing - we don't suck. We are good people - we're just struggling.
You sound like a good person and I wish you the best. We are here for you. Hugs.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Tony
I couldn't imagine life without beer either - but I'm glad I took the leap of faith.
I'm happy for the first time in my adult life, I'm the man I want to be, I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed...
and all I had to do was stop drinking.
It's simple...but not easy. But you're not alone - use the support and the ideas you'll find here
It's a leap of faith - but trust me, it's worth it Tony
D
I couldn't imagine life without beer either - but I'm glad I took the leap of faith.
I'm happy for the first time in my adult life, I'm the man I want to be, I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed...
and all I had to do was stop drinking.
It's simple...but not easy. But you're not alone - use the support and the ideas you'll find here
It's a leap of faith - but trust me, it's worth it Tony
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 38
tony,
U made the first step in the right direction. Although I have no advice at all on how to do life without drinking as I am in the same situation as you. Im only a few days in being sober. The way I see it is, if we dont stop drinking now, we may be dead or kill someone in driving and not have a choice to quit. Keep talking to folks that have been sober and you will see that life goes on and usually its much better. Hang in there, it has to be better on the other side than this.
U made the first step in the right direction. Although I have no advice at all on how to do life without drinking as I am in the same situation as you. Im only a few days in being sober. The way I see it is, if we dont stop drinking now, we may be dead or kill someone in driving and not have a choice to quit. Keep talking to folks that have been sober and you will see that life goes on and usually its much better. Hang in there, it has to be better on the other side than this.
Resident Curmudgeon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Way down South in Indiana
Posts: 375
Tony-
Set yourself free. If you really want to do it, you can and will.
Make a plan to stay sober and do it for yourself. In this case, being selfish is the most generous thing you can do.
Set yourself free. If you really want to do it, you can and will.
Make a plan to stay sober and do it for yourself. In this case, being selfish is the most generous thing you can do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 306
Trust me, I don't know much. But that old adage "One day at a time" has been around because it holds truth and for many it works. Take it "One day at a time", that's all you can really do.
Keep reading and posting. The experiences and insights posted on SR will teach and help you. (I remain grateful for all I have learned here.) Good luck.
Keep reading and posting. The experiences and insights posted on SR will teach and help you. (I remain grateful for all I have learned here.) Good luck.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Hi and Welcome Tony,,
You made a great first start by tallking about your problem and coming here. Now hopefully you will keep going and look for a program to help you do this. I personally am I AA person so that helps me.
Not one of us chose or wanted to be an alcoholic but , myself I cant change it nor I guess would I because it made me ,me.
Your young I love that , I couldnt imagine being wise enough then to not have go through the next 20 years drinking to black out every single day. So any many will tell you we all thought we couldnt live without that drink, but its a sick lie , YOU can and you also can ENJOY life without it .
Keep comin back , best wishes.
You made a great first start by tallking about your problem and coming here. Now hopefully you will keep going and look for a program to help you do this. I personally am I AA person so that helps me.
Not one of us chose or wanted to be an alcoholic but , myself I cant change it nor I guess would I because it made me ,me.
Your young I love that , I couldnt imagine being wise enough then to not have go through the next 20 years drinking to black out every single day. So any many will tell you we all thought we couldnt live without that drink, but its a sick lie , YOU can and you also can ENJOY life without it .
Keep comin back , best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Good luck, Tony. Vantrina is totally right. One day at a time really works. So does the serenity prayer. Coming to SR is great. Going to AA and/or a Doctor would be good as well. Whatever you can do to start your journey in sobriety--do it! You'll start feeling better right away.
You better believe alcoholism is genetic. My body is an alcohol processing machine, a high performance prototype designed for maximum self destruction. My parents created a booze bomber when they made me. I drank at least 45,000 beers in 25 years and only got physically ill three times. Of course I spent a lot of time in shame with a hangover but that's another story...
You better believe alcoholism is genetic. My body is an alcohol processing machine, a high performance prototype designed for maximum self destruction. My parents created a booze bomber when they made me. I drank at least 45,000 beers in 25 years and only got physically ill three times. Of course I spent a lot of time in shame with a hangover but that's another story...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: KS
Posts: 55
I'll be honest guys, as much as I'd like to stop and most of the time when I look at beer it doesn't apeal to me but I drink it anyways. I've never gave a solid attempt to stop simply because it's easier to drink, I'm sure you guys know what I mean. Looking back on the last four years and the things I've said and done to people I care about and the problems it's caused in my life, I've come to the conclusion that this stuff has to be like crack.
I'm not the same person I used to be, I've kinda secluded myself from friends, to focus on my drinking. Ive often found myself breaking down and I'll feel better by drinking more. I've sold things that I really enjoyed like toys and such to buy beer when I was low on cash. It's pretty sad and this isnt how I imagined I'd turn out.
I'm not the same person I used to be, I've kinda secluded myself from friends, to focus on my drinking. Ive often found myself breaking down and I'll feel better by drinking more. I've sold things that I really enjoyed like toys and such to buy beer when I was low on cash. It's pretty sad and this isnt how I imagined I'd turn out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Yep, alcohol can take a lot from us. Relationships, possessions, reputation, hope, health. The more we drink, the more it takes. Good news is it can't take anything else if we don't drink. Quitting isn't easy, but I tell you what, continuing to drink is not the easier option. It's called "hard living" for a reason. It's hard all right, on both the body and the mind.
Turn out? This isn't the end of the story. You're 23. You still get to decide how it all turns out. I really think you should give it a serious shot, Tony.
It's pretty sad and this isnt how I imagined I'd turn out.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Not drinking is not the easier option no. but the payback is awesome Tony.
I really hope you decide to stick with it - it's a little uncomfortable for a while and it's not always easy - but you will get your life back - and you'll be able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror again.
I've never regretted quitting.
D
I really hope you decide to stick with it - it's a little uncomfortable for a while and it's not always easy - but you will get your life back - and you'll be able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror again.
I've never regretted quitting.
D
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