SASA

I am over 9 month sober now coming up to my 10th. Today I had to do the hardest thing in my life. I had to take my cat to the vet and put her down. Before anybody dying or having to make these decision triggered me bigtime. I found my 1st dog runover when I was 13. I still could see the blood on the street. I had to put my second dog down when he was older. Also loosing my grandmother nad father, I always dealt with the sorrow by drinking. Trying to get over the pain it inflicted.
Last week and today I cried bigtime, begging god to save her, but it did not help.
Here I am sitting close to tears typing this, however I have no desire to pick up drinking. All I can think off is that my cat deserved better and that the other 3 cats that I still have deserve all my love and attention to make it easier on them. I hope with thanksgiving coming and I will be alone I will survive without drinking. It is a dark moment, however I know somewhere there will be a ligth burnign and guiding me.

So for all your newcomers: You can stay sober! and you can get your live back onto track.Even feeling the pain inflicted by the loss of a loved one is better than picking up drinking again (at least for today, I am still sober, and I am grateful for that)

Fenris

I'm sorry for your loss SASA. That's a very hard thing to go through, and I'm glad you realize that your other three cats deserve a sober you for love and attention.

--Fenris.

Dee74

I'm really sorry for your loss SASA.

D

least

I know first hand how painful that is. I'm sorry for your loss also. I too had no desire to drink over having to put two of my dogs to sleep in the last six months. I felt that they'd be disappointed if I drank cause they knew me, and loved me, drunk or sober but I loved them so much better sober.

Sending you big :ghug3 of comfort.

Tigger41

So sorry for your loss.

Marine28

So sorry for your loss .

Jenners

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting, I am so happy to hear that despite going through such a hard time you are strong enough to move forward towards your 10th month of sobriety.

tanja

SASA, I am so sorry that you had to put your baby to sleep. That is incredibly painful and you are very strong and brave. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Anna

Sasa, I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved cat.

If you are alone on Thanksgiving, why not head over to your nearest Homeless Shelter and help serve meals?

neferkamichael

So sorry for your loss SASA, but congtrats on the 10 months.

ReadyAndAble

I'm really sorry to hear that. I had to put down my dog in September (that was at nine months for me, too). It was horrible, but I didn't want to drink. He was a fine dog. Like least said in her post, I felt I owed it to him to stay the course.

I still miss him, but it's getting better. I mostly think about the good times. It just takes a while. Stay strong in the meantime.

Elly40

So sorry for your loss SASA. I've had to do this myself and it is really hard. My thoughts are with you.

instant

SASA my thoughts are with you- I hope you are able to allow your heart to feel what it needs to to grieve

SASA

thank you so much for everybodies support. It is the first time for me going trough this without alcohol. I feel like an observer. My tears are flowing from time to time, however in my mind I keep talking to my cat and know she is fine.
The other 3 cats start to go back to normal and are craving my attention. One of them got in a fight, so he needs extra care, lol. A good place to put my attention. I am glad I do not even want to drink. I drove by a liquor store today and I feel like my obsession is lifted. However I am very careful. I know alcohol is a demon, once you let your shield down it will try again to hurl you in......

Bimm

It is OK to grieve for your cat and I'm proud of you for grieving without alcohol. Keep up to good work!

version2

So sorry for your loss SASA.

Asylum01

SASA,

Let your tear's fly. I've cried like a baby when we've had to put some of our cats down. Your furry friend is OK now. Like you say, your other friends need a sober you to show them the love they deserve. Good Luck

eJoshua

That sucks, I'm sorry you had to do that. Losing a pet can be very difficult.

Hevyn

Hi SASA. That was a lucky kitty - to be in the hands of a caring person like you. I agree with you - she is fine. She'll be waiting for you & the others. I know you'll see her again.

Glad you came here to talk about how you felt. Congratulations on your almost 10 months!

Roadr440

I'm sorry for your loss SASA..

Stay Focused and Stay the Course...