alcoholsux

..and this is what i fear:

this strong spell won't last

I will give in so I don't feel this pain in my chest

what will i do when I go out or to family gatherings

nighttime

that i will never stop thinking about alcohol. i smelled something today reminded me of SoCo and i wanted a drink so bad

that i've already done damage to my body that's not fixable

that i'll let everyone down including myself

This is what's gone on in my head today. I'm gonna go drink some water....

pikkle69

I know it sounds kind of screwed up, but use all those fears to motivate you... how many times do you want to have to go through feeling like this? It does get better, I would have never thought it myself but I'm not day 20 and no, it's not easy still, but it's a hell of a lot better than at day 3 and I feel even better than I have in probably 15 years! That's my motivation right now... be strong and it will get better!

yo466

First of all I would say hang in there, you're doing great! Day 3 was one of the worst for me I was just getting my head clear and starting to feel better. That's when I would usually start thinking about drinking again, when I felt better after not drinking for a couple of days and the cycle would repeat itself.

Use all of your fears as a motivation, think positive and you'll start to see little improvements in your life that you can build on every day.

alcoholsux

Fear=Motivation.
Got it
I can do this. It helps expressing my fears. Getting them out of my head and having people see them makes me feel NOT Alone.
I am good at thinking positive for others, Now it's time to think positive for myself. I gotta start liking myself again, without the alcohol.

It's like getting to know myself all over again....

alcoholsux

Thanks again everyone!!!

Dee74

Ok let's look at these

There's no reason why it can't or won't. As long as we keep up the effort and keep reaching out for support, I think we can do anything.

I had similar pains - mine were anxiety but if you're concerned please see a Dr - it is better to be safe

You can always find support and ideas here.
I waited a while before I put myself back out there - but when I was sure sobriety was what I wanted, nothing else anyone said or did mattered.

I know this is the right choice for me.

nighttime was my troubled time too. I spent quite a few nights on SR - I reconnected with a few old hobbies, did a lot of cooking, watched a lot of movies, exercised.....Eventually I lost my fear of the night

you will. I spent an hour yesterday waiting for a cab - the rank is outside a liquor store - I wasn't remotely bothered by the shop, just the wait lol.

Then I definitely think you need to see a Dr. I was sure of that too - I'd drunk for 20 years and daily all day for 5....my results were far better than I expected with no long term problems

there's no basis for that fear - as long as you keep doing everything you can for your recovery, you'll be fine AS.

Fears a biggie - and self doubt. I had everyreason to think I'd fail too.
But I didn't

You get out of recovery what you put in, so keep on putting in - you're doing fine

D

alcoholsux

WOW Dee,
I can't thank you enough for breaking it down like that for me. Really helps put things in "order" so to speak. I knew this wasnt going to be easy, but there's no way I am giving up. I am suffering from Panic disorder which I see a therapist once a week for, no meds...so that feeling in my chest is not a new thing. Just usually i drink in a way for a few hours. I know in time it will disappear, with not drinking and seeking help for the anxiety. I can't give up now. I saw how happy my kids were with me last night. My 10 yr old asked me today where my drink was at. And I told him, I'm not having another drink again, and that little sentimental guy teared up. Mom, I'm proud of you. I don't ever want to see you drunk again. My 8 yr old daughter chimes in....Mom, i hate it when you drink cause you say the most messed up things...then my 3 yr old daughter (my comedian says) it's gross mom, and you're not gross. All I see is progress from hear on out. I'll take these bad days because I know good days are coming

geno1982

hey you can do it, sounds like my day, you can do it. you can do, tough times dont last tough people do

alcoholsux

WE can do it Geno!

quitforme79

My day 3 post was anxiety ridden..I'm on day 15 and I can tell you I am in SUCH a better place. I saw my dr in the beginning so I could get peace of mind and got blood tests to rule out any issues..may be a good idea for you to do as well. I know I am still a newbie but the gains made even after 2 weeks are just amazing and it does get easier. Be proud of your three days and just take it one day at a time ((hugs))

AcceptingChange

day 3 is tough, it's challenging. but you're doing it. great job.

alcoholsux

Thanks so much! I am gonna take the advice and just get things checked out for peace of mind. My husband says I didnt drink enough or long enough (I've drank 3 years 4-5 nights a week) for heavy damage, but you never know. And for that anxiety to be gone, i just need to check it out.

Congrats on DAY 15!!!!!!!!!!

AcceptingChange

hopefully, no heavy body damage. But it's a challenging habit to break. Don't let anyone convince you it's easy, because it's not easy. But it's definately achievable. You can do it, just like the last 3 days you did it. Read books and web sites on alcoholism, and educate yourself. I highly recommend "Drinking: A Love Story". I really related to that book. Plus "Above the Influence". It's good to replace the drinking time with a new hobby, so how about the hobby of reading about alcoholism. I did that the first few months, being in the bookstore and in the library. I really opened my eyes to (1) how much this affects millions and (2) how damaging this habit is.

pikkle69

There are genetic factors... some people drink like fish their whole lives and die of old age or something unrelated, like most of my family. Others, well, it just isn't in the cards for them to be alcoholics physically (everyone suffers psychologically!) Yes, go to the Dr and find out where you're at. The only reason I don't is because if I do go and find out that I'm fine, it will be one more justification for me to start drinking again... kind of like a credit card that's not yet maxed out.

quitforme79

Thanks Nikki I was only on a month binge and developed gastritis (inflammation of the stomach). Everyone's body is different but I do know and believe that we are so resilient and able to heal even after beating ourselves up to a big extent. Let me know how you make out and keep coming back to SR

alcoholsux

I read that book Drinking-A love story..totally related! I think i want to re-read it though!

And Pikkle, I get your point on not going...I did just have a physical. everything was good accept my blood pressure with a few points higher than normal, but i drank Vodka the night before.....I go for an upper Gi and a Hida Scan on Friday for my Acid reflux...so maybe a visit to the doc. isnt necessary yet.

pikkle69

Your body is pretty resilient if given the chance to heal... drinking doesn't allow for that so just by quitting you're way ahead of the game. Of course if you're several months down the road and you still have some unusual symptoms, I'd probably go.

artsoul

Hi alcoholsux - I was pretty much a mess at day 3, and having all those same thoughts. I had to hope that when others said it gets better, it could be that way for me, too.

It really helped to take things a day at a time. Getting sober is a process, so try not to get ahead of yourself. Keep stress at a minimum (if you can, with kids around!) and go easy on yourself. You're just getting through the worse part.....

Keep your spirits up!

Tigger41

I hear you alcoholsux - scared that I'll "just have one"