Petewill

man.. i am really struggling emotionally right now, I do not have the desire to drink...but am so down. I have been doing 2 meetings a day since I finished rehab, thinking about getting another sponsor (just no longer clicking after 3 years), calling people in my program everyday. I am just wanting everything now, the girlfriend (attention), the job, etc.... what is wrong with me. Why can't I just appreciate what I have done so far? I realize this is all unrealistic, but this dark cloud today is really getting to me, i feel like it will last awhile. sorry, I know this does not make sense... thanks for reading..

Dee74

Have you thought about seeing a Dr or a counsellor Pete?
It'd be good to check if this is situational depression or if there's something else going on?

D

Dee74

Have you thought about seeing a Dr or a counsellor Pete?
It'd be good to check if this is situational depression or if there's something else going on?

D

Petewill

Hey Dee. at least somebody responded.. lol.. yeah, I started seeing an addictions therapist last week. I go again on wednesday.. I hope that helps, as I still feel pretty down..

MemphisBlues

Hey, Pete. At 40 plus days I was an emotional wreck, depression like none I had experienced before, and I'v been treated for major depression for 20 years.

I think going to meetings and going to the meeting after the meeting and surrendering and accepting that I was an alcoholic and addict were pertinent points in me maintaining one year of sobriety.

And I think having a good sponsor is critical. I may not "click" with my sponsor, but I would be in a much darker place with her.

That was part of my surrendering: Doing what my sponsor says even when I think she is full of ****.

Easier said than done, I know.

I'v also found diligently working the steps to the best of my ability critical in maintaining a semblance of sanity.

SamanthaIam

Wow, Pete! 42 days, I'm impressed. That's an accomplishment and I hope you are proud of it!

Sorry you are not feeling well, though. There seem to be many others here who have experienced something similar. I'll be watching this thread because like you, I want to know what to do when things are difficult.

Best wishes

LoftyIdeals

Hey Pete...hang in there. If you've had a sponsor for 3 yrs, I'm wondering if this is your first time at 42 days. I know this time for me (now at 100 days) has been different than all the others over the decades, and I can't say why, but the bounce back to "me" has been slower, and I was definitely in a funk for the 30-60 day stretch. So, hang in there. The black cloud will dissipate, and you'll see that the sun still shines behind it.

aasharon90

Growing pain in recovery. Its very common as
I see it because I have and had them too in my
21 yrs. sobriety.

Alcohol or drug abuse takes a number on our
bodies, mind and soul and with a program of
recovery to guide us, strengthen us, heal us,
we can grow and mature into healthy happy
human beings.

Use ur AA/NA programs for ur alcohol and
drug addiction, prayers/meditation for the
soul, and physical/mental with proper doctors.

We find balance in all areas of our lives using
the steps and principles set down before us from
those yrs. ago knowing it works because so many
have found a way to stay clean and sober because
of it.

We are suppose to enjoy our new life in recovery
with a purpose of helping others who still suffer
by sharing our own experiences, strengths and
hopes. In doing so you will be filled with humblness
and appreciation for many things in our lives.

cuyootoo

The older I get the longer it takes me to feel better after I quit drinking. Also, eating foods that are beneficial for the liver help me feel better faster. Heavy foods like red meat, Pork, and refined wheat and sugar will take their toll. I feel much better eating fish, rice and veggies.

ramalam

i can't give any advice just that i'm sorry you are in pain.

i hope when i say things will get better they really will. stay strong.

SeekSobriety

Hi Pete I can relate to what you are saying. I suffer from Depression. Drugs and Alcohol were my medication at one point in time. Once I took that crutch away I was left to fend for myself. Thankfully I have found a incredible Therapist and have been working with the Therapy CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) It has really been a life saver for me. There are low to no cost programs available (check with your local university Psychology departments for referrals)

Another thing that helps me immensely is Walking/Jogging. Even 5 minutes of brisk walking seems to help me get a handle on the depression. Hardest thing though is when I am depressed I don't want to move or exercise But I force myself to fast walk for even 3 minutes. Even doing 1 pushup helps. Anything to get the heart beating and blood flowing

I hope your depression goes away soon. Congratulations on staying sober one day at a time.

1undone

I am where you are and it's where we should be. I'm sure you've heard this a gazillion times. Recovery is a heartbreaking and humbling experience for many. It takes a village to get us better! Right now I'm the village idiot! Kidding. But seriously, I don't think I know many at 40+ days that are on cloud 9.

I can offer you my empathy and hope that you know that what you are feeling is temporary. I always want everything right away too and I think the program of AA is in a way a good help to those of us afflicted with this way of thinking. It really gets us know where fast.

sugarbear1

Are you working the steps?

Petewill

you guys are so incredible and inspiring - thanks for trying to help me get through this. as far as starting the steps, I am starting step one, as i type this. Last night was the worst yet, I felt like I was being emotionally strangled, serious... like there was no way out of this, i finally just went to sleep. I have been trying to get my myself occupied with other things like working out, music, etc.. but..

humnbird

Pete, thank you for posting because we all (I mean me) need to be reminded of how hard it is when we first get sober.

I felt the same as you when I had 40ish days. I had no experience sober, I truly felt that that dark cloud was never going to go away. I thought that everything bad lasts forever, at least that was how it felt. Now I know that "this too shall pass" is the truest statement anyone in AA ever made to me. I never knew because I never let it pass, instead I got obliterated.

Throwing myself into meetings, calls, step-work, and support was the best thing to do for me.

Sobriety isn't easy, if it were we'd have every meeting in a football stadium. But it's possible with action, under suggestions and contrary to your old behaviors.

You can do it!! I believe in you.