2 weeks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
2 weeks
Two weeks today and feeling discouraged. Experiencing anger and frustration, crappy hopeless thoughts about myself. Was at my old place packing where I REALLY don't get along with one of my roommates, just such a negative feeling there it really upset me. I wish it didn't bother me so much when someone doesn't like me. I know I shouldn't; I don't need to be friends with everyone, and I get so frustrated when I let it get to me. The fact that I can't control the way I just crumble like that, I hate it. Can be feeling great and then just one jerk in my life can knock me down. Why do I let that happen? It's like I get frustrated with my own brain, I wish I could just be confident and let negativity roll off my back.
Anyway I'm so glad I'm moving out of there. I just really wish it wasn't so easy for others to knock down my confidence, without even trying! Truthfully I considered drinking on the way back home, really wanted to just get ****ed up, you know how it feels. But I just can't. How will I ever be able to feel powerful if I knock it right out of myself with alcohol? The last thing I need right now is an actual concrete reason to hate myself. Have enough fake reasons to battle with.
Anyway I'm so glad I'm moving out of there. I just really wish it wasn't so easy for others to knock down my confidence, without even trying! Truthfully I considered drinking on the way back home, really wanted to just get ****ed up, you know how it feels. But I just can't. How will I ever be able to feel powerful if I knock it right out of myself with alcohol? The last thing I need right now is an actual concrete reason to hate myself. Have enough fake reasons to battle with.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 328
I can't remember who said this to me on SR, but it was... "It's none of my business what other people think about me." It was one of the best quotes that I have ever heard.
I was really agitated and angry on my first two weeks, but everyday gets a little bit easier. Keep your head up and stay strong.
I was really agitated and angry on my first two weeks, but everyday gets a little bit easier. Keep your head up and stay strong.
Non-Zoroastrian
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Great State of Mitten
Posts: 183
17 days so far.
I haven't really gone through the anger part, don't know if I will but historically, I've always been an angry person. I do feel like my fuse is a bit shorter (though not nearly as short as when I was heavy duty binging) but for the most part, I'm pretty damn happy about being able to pull this sobriety thing off so far. Yes, there's the shame and guilt and all that crap but amazingly, I came out of the heavy duty anxiety within a week and haven't had much since. Will that change? Who knows. Still in somewhat of a brain fog and go through a lot of emotions during a day. I will be happier when that part abates. And oh yeah, I lost my job of 17 years last month so I do have a lot to be angry about yet I'm not, I'm optimistic because I'm going to keep living. You will too, just keep it up. It ain't easy so great job!
I haven't really gone through the anger part, don't know if I will but historically, I've always been an angry person. I do feel like my fuse is a bit shorter (though not nearly as short as when I was heavy duty binging) but for the most part, I'm pretty damn happy about being able to pull this sobriety thing off so far. Yes, there's the shame and guilt and all that crap but amazingly, I came out of the heavy duty anxiety within a week and haven't had much since. Will that change? Who knows. Still in somewhat of a brain fog and go through a lot of emotions during a day. I will be happier when that part abates. And oh yeah, I lost my job of 17 years last month so I do have a lot to be angry about yet I'm not, I'm optimistic because I'm going to keep living. You will too, just keep it up. It ain't easy so great job!
Last edited by pikkle69; 11-11-2011 at 11:11 PM. Reason: After thought.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,446
I'm glad you moved out IP.
I was a people pleaser too - but the more I worked on myself in my recovery the more comfortable I've gotten with who I am, and the less I get bothered when people don't like me
I'm sure you find the same
congrats on 2 weeks
D
I was a people pleaser too - but the more I worked on myself in my recovery the more comfortable I've gotten with who I am, and the less I get bothered when people don't like me
I'm sure you find the same
congrats on 2 weeks
D
Last edited by Dee74; 11-11-2011 at 11:37 PM.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Yeah the fact that I'm not drinking is the best thing in my life right now-sometimes I feel like it's all I have. If I start drinking again I literally have nothing.
I've been feeling increasingly good so far which is why today was such a setback. I was frustrated at letting my emotions control me like that. The anger comes in waves, and I actually realized today that it might be linked to my diet. I ate a bunch of bread at lunch and was really agitated for hours after that. I never would have noticed that before when my body was all screwed up from alcohol all the time, and feeling crappy was just a way of life. Hmmm, "food" for thought, ha ha. (sorry)
I've been feeling increasingly good so far which is why today was such a setback. I was frustrated at letting my emotions control me like that. The anger comes in waves, and I actually realized today that it might be linked to my diet. I ate a bunch of bread at lunch and was really agitated for hours after that. I never would have noticed that before when my body was all screwed up from alcohol all the time, and feeling crappy was just a way of life. Hmmm, "food" for thought, ha ha. (sorry)
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I just really wish it wasn't so easy for others to knock down my confidence
I love this quote but don't know who said it. "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
Big congrats and hugs on your two weeks sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 64
Congrats, InParticular! I am so glad that you are making progress and feeling good!
I think when we first quit drinking some of us (especially those who, like me, drank to self-medicate) have a hard time because for the first time we have to really sit with those emotions. I have two weeks also, and my problem is depression. After awhile I think we will rebuild those coping skills.
I think when we first quit drinking some of us (especially those who, like me, drank to self-medicate) have a hard time because for the first time we have to really sit with those emotions. I have two weeks also, and my problem is depression. After awhile I think we will rebuild those coping skills.
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