reggiewayne

Good morning SR...

Just wanted to check in. Doing pretty well so far. You know after having some sober time in, a part of me thinks its silly to check in with just a week behind me, but that type of thinking is "self-defeating" so here I am...

I think we all need to proud of anytime we have in. I seem to always look to others and say, "Man, he has a year, or she has 18 months, or I'll be all better when I have 2 years behind me", etc... I think what I've learned is this thing truly is a day by day deal.

It's not natural for me NOT to drink. Without help, it's what I do. It's what I've always done. I can have all of the AA and recovery in the world in my head, but if I'm not living it out loud it means nothing. I have to work at this daily or I will ALWAYS go back...

So, today is 8 days. I had a good workout this morning, have a full day of work ahead of me, and will try my best at all of it.

My thought for the day is to take it easy on myself. I don't have to beat myself all the time. It's OK to just be me today.

I hope you all have a great day!!!

RW

InParticular

Thanks for your post Reggiewayne. It really made me think.

This is my first real attempt at being sober in a few years. TEN DAYS today and it feels GOOD. I agree with you that the length of time doesn't matter because my life has already turned around since ten days ago, when I gave myself the gift of FOCUS, and I made the call and got back into the school program that I dropped out of four years ago because of drinking-induced chaos in my life, and I'm back with my lovely, supportive boyfriend who I dumped in a fit of drunken rage.

I WANT to do well in school and change my life, and I WANT to be happy and healthy. This is only possible while I'm not drinking. It only took ten days for this to become clear.

I know I'm not out of the woods, not even CLOSE, but I'm really getting there this time.

Anna

Good for you on Day 8, Reggie!

Be proud of yourself for this accomplishment.

ElvisInASkirt

Taking it easy on yourself is the best advice ever.

It's by being overly brutal on yourself that you send yourself into a spiral of self loathing that usually only ends in one way.

Gentle is the way to go!

Sometimes it's easier to achieve than others.

LoftyIdeals

Well done, RW! And you too, IP.

It truly is a daily thing. Someone wrote a good post this weekend on momentum that rang true for me. If we can grasp the positive momentum that's building, and make it our new norm, we don't have to go back "down under" to our drinking days. But, it's a daily task. Given the time I dedicated daily to drinking, it's a small committment comparatively.

Keep on posting!

susanlauren

RW, Glad to see you back on Sober Recovery. I missed you. Susan Lauren

eJoshua

Congrats on 8 days!

It's the quality of your sober time, not the quantity, that defines its success.

instant

Any hard won sober time is an achievement worth celebrating, even if that amounts to cherishing the ability to look in the mirror.

theballguy

Thanks for the post ReggieWayne! This helps all of us as well. Keep up the good work!!!

sexehshay

Congratulations Reggie Wayne! There were days that I couldn't even think about making it a few hours sober let alone a couple of days. We take it one day at a time and within that time we start to feel better and see everything a bit clearer. I am 53 days clean and sober now and I am learning patience is key. I am learning to no longer live in the past nor try to predict the future just focus on today. I also keep my daily gratitude list and that helps me when I am feeling a little bit down and like nothing seems to be going my way. Keep up the good work!

Zebra1275

Glad you are sober today! That's all I worry about, today.

Counting days, particularly when you have relapsed after a long period of sober time is kinda depressing. My first go around with long term sobriety I knew exactly how many days I had, and I had a couple thousand days. Once I relapsed it was depressing to be on day 3 or day 4 or whatever when I previously had been on day 2003 or 2004. So now I don't count, I just worry about today. I have a vague notion of how long I've been sober now but I would need a calendar and a calculator to get it exact.

freshstart57

I felt the answer for me was arriving at the point where I had been sober long enough (a week or two) to look back with some clarity and consider what I had become. Because of my addiction, I had done many things that were against my core beliefs and this made me ashamed.

I chose not to be ashamed any longer, I chose to return to being the person I knew that I was. There was no feeling of grief or loss about the end my drinking habit, no deprivation because my my need for alcohol was created by alcohol. When I chose to quit, the need disappeared.

Instead, there was a sensation of relief, I didn't have to drink anymore. I realized that I was finally free of the shame and guilt, free from the fear and depression, free from the anxiety that sucked me into a place where I became paralyzed to everything except my next pull from the vodka bottle.

I was finally free. Maybe this story can help you, Reggie. InParticular, you might already be there! Congratulations to you.

WINNC

Glad to see you back on SR- when I first started my sobriety back in April I used to like reading your posts and they were motivating.

debsam

Reggie...keep up it! and keep posting...you never know who you are inspiring...that's part of what it's all about

Missy7

I guess I was gone while you were gone Reggie. I'm glad we have both found our way back. I appreciate you saying that "not drinking is not natural to you." I think that is important, and I share that reality. But SR has made is possible to continually try to correct the problem...and maybe one day it will stick.

But, on the other hand, I now have sober streaks. That's a plus.

freshstart57

Reggie, I'd like to point you at something I call the alcoholic voice, because to my ears, those words above are being screamed by that AV. For kicks and giggles, search for that phrase using the search tool. I hope you will come to see that these thoughts are not yours; you want to stop this baloney for good.

I'd like to continue this conversation with you, Reggie, if you'd like. Drop me a pm anytime.

Itchy

Congrats RW! You have been missed. I stay active here for many of the same reasons. It reminds me I can't, therefore I won't.

lookinforward

Amen RW! I have read many of your posts. You have a good grasp of what you are, whom you are, and why you are here. You are human as we all are. Do your best and live your life.
Keep on Keepin on
Dave

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Reggie. Always get something from your posts
Congrats on the progress

D

MemphisBlues

I learn from everyone's relapse. I, too, don't hold time in much esteem, other than by judging where that person is today. For me, with only a tad more than a year sober, I see people in the rooms with decades and want little of what they have.

That said, I know others who chalk up a significant amount of time -- say a year, or, as in a meeting not long ago, 17, 25, and 27 -- who went back out and came back.

And then there is the waif who chalked up a year and went out to hit a new bottom and ended up in rehab for four months. to me, the courage is coming back and honestly sharing.

If you want to count days, count the year or so you had before, and remember what a miracle that was. And go back and read your earlier posts. They inspired me when I only had months in, and helped.

I think there is a lot to be said about service work, too. And I'm always reminded that the steps are something to work every day, not once or twice in a sober career.