An Update
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 237
An Update
I haven't been around here recently, but I have made some changes in my life and attitude that I wanted to share. I have finally gone no contact with my XAH. As far as I know, he will be homeless next week, but I don't know all of the details, nor do I want to know them. I did send him an email that said, "I'm not listening to your messages, so stop leaving them. I have helped you enough, and all my "help" did was enable you to stay sick. I now leave the consequences for your choices on you. If you choose to go into a sober house, I will help pay for the deposit, but that is all the help I am willing to give. If that ever comes about, tell your sister to contact me."
(I realize that last part is a little nod to my last vestiges of codie-ism, but it helps me sleep at night knowing that he truly does have a choice to sober up and get off the streets if he wants to take it, and I don't have to talk to him about it any longer).
Anyway, other than that e-mail, I've been no contact now for two weeks and I do feel like a weight has lifted from me. I don't blame myself for taking so long to get to this point; I really wasn't emotionally able to do it earlier. But I'm grateful that I am now.
In other news, my boyfriend is moving across the country for a job. We have decided to "see how it goes". Maybe I will end up moving with my daughter, maybe I won't. Our relationship needs work, but me finally letting go of the ex could be the start of a truer, deeper relationship. Or not. We'll see.
(I realize that last part is a little nod to my last vestiges of codie-ism, but it helps me sleep at night knowing that he truly does have a choice to sober up and get off the streets if he wants to take it, and I don't have to talk to him about it any longer).
Anyway, other than that e-mail, I've been no contact now for two weeks and I do feel like a weight has lifted from me. I don't blame myself for taking so long to get to this point; I really wasn't emotionally able to do it earlier. But I'm grateful that I am now.
In other news, my boyfriend is moving across the country for a job. We have decided to "see how it goes". Maybe I will end up moving with my daughter, maybe I won't. Our relationship needs work, but me finally letting go of the ex could be the start of a truer, deeper relationship. Or not. We'll see.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Posts: 6,278
I love reading posts like this. Especially the part below. I remember that feeling.
Originally Posted by Mambo Queen 
I've been no contact now for two weeks and I do feel like a weight has lifted from me.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Congratulations, Mambo Queen! I am glad for you, I know how much this has cost you... yes, we all have our own rhythms. I loved the No contact, I loved the flexible attitude about the future, and I loved the compassion you show yourself, not taking blame... you have progressed a lot and I am glad you shared your victories here 
! way to go MQ!!! keep taking care of you.
Hugs,
TC999
! way to go MQ!!! keep taking care of you.Hugs,
TC999
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