Tonedrinker

Hello all! This is my first post. On about Sept. 25th I thought to myself, "I should not drink the month of October." Well, here we are with two days to go and it really has been a breeze. By the way, I drank around 4-6 beers a day on weekdays and more on the weekends. I always thought I was able to drink if I wanted or say no if I wanted. I just always wanted to drink but didn't need to. I have actually been surprised as to how easy this has been. I have wanted to drink a few times but no monster craving or anything. I definitely like the reduced drinking. I sleep better and have saved $$$$$. November 1 I'm taking the wife out for a nice steak and I WILL have a glass of wine. Am I risking anything? Sorry for the rambling post, I would just like you all to share your thoughts. Am I lucky that I had such an easy time not drinking for a month?
I want to use this experience to drink much less but not stop completely. Is that stupid or attainable?

quitforme79

You decided to stop drinking for a reason. Even 4 drinks a day can compromise your health..more so as we age. I think it's great that you decided to be healthier. Even after a month you have seen positive changes in a few areas- I can't wait to be at month. If you didn't think you had a problem, you wouldn't be posting on this site, right? I say applaud yourself for getting healthy and skip the wine. Of course, it's your decision and who knows? Your wife may thank you for NOT drinking Welcome to the forum!

30Sober

I think you need to determine whether you are an alcoholic or merely a problem drinker. If you are an alcoholic like me then having just one glass of wine is not an option. I am on 22 days sober now and I know if I had just one sip of wine it would lead to one glass, two glasses, four glasses, two bottles and so on. I cannot stop once I start.

I also feel alot better than I did when I was drinking daily so that is a huge motivator not to go back to that life. Congrats on your one month by the way, if this one was easy just think how easy the next will be and the next. Food for thought...

Tonedrinker

Thanks! I never thought I had a problem. Wasn't 100% sure. The ease of the month without drinking makes me think I was right. That I wasn't an alcohlic , but a moderate to heavy drinker. Is that the case or a bunch of BS? Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy having a few beers or a nice Cabernet with dinner. I just never HAD to have it but almost
Always did......boy, that sounds stupid but that's how I feel.

Tonedrinker

There have been many days where I would say I was just going to have 4-5 beers only to have 12. Those would only happen when hanging with buddies though. Never just at home watching a game or something.

30Sober

I can relate to what you are saying. But please remember that alcoholism is a progressive disease. Mine progressed very quickly. If I rewind to 3 years ago I didn't think I had a problem. I would have a couple glasses of wine with dinner and go to bed. That's perfectly "normal" right? But then it escalated to a bottle and more a night. I don't know how or why but it sure did. All this time I fooled myself into believing I could easily quit and be done with it all. However, I always found a reason to drink. Any reason, good or bad. What I'm trying to say is that it's a slippery slope and you need to be careful when playing with fire.

Dee74

Hi Tonedrinker
Welcome

Sounds like you've made your mind up - if you want to 'drink much less but not stop completely' then I wish you well.

Unfortunately that doesn't really gel that well with your admission that in the past there've many been many days where you'd say you'd just have 4-5 beers only to have 12...

You've had a month sober and that's great - it doesn't reset you or anything tho.

I've know people who've had a much longer time between drinks, and who found they not only still had a problem - but that it had progressed.

I really do hope you're one of the lucky ones, but I think you need to at least prepare yourself for the possibility that you may not have things turn out as you wish.

D

Tonedrinker

Thanks for the perspective.

Lionne

Hard to say if you are a problem drinker or if there could be really a alcoholism issue, but drinking 4-6 drinks a day is quite a lot, and problem drinking can eventually evolve into more. I can't say do it or don't do it, but the lines between the two are blurry, and a continuous use of that amount of alcohol is at least risky, and not very healthy.

Alcohol problems are not always about the amounts orne drinks or wether or not one can abstain for a month or two. It's also about what happens after the first drink. Be honest with yourself, is it harder for you to stop at one single drink than not to drink at all? If alcohol is a real issue in your life, you will probably find it very hard to moderate and will end up drinking more than you planned quite a bit. If that is the case, you should probably consider not drinking at all, because the chances are very high that your drinking it will get worse.
Take care, Lionne
Edit: I can only speak for myself, but I've abstained for a month on 2-3 occasions before I got sober, not only to find out that I was drinking as much as before in no time, but also that the amount i was drinking increased regardless of these breaks. the first times, it was easy to stop so I thought:"well I guess I' m ok" but it didn't stay that way....

Tonedrinker

Thats an excellent post. Many great points that hit hit home...

chainsaw4618

Hi Tone, I agree with quitforme: You quit for a reason. You are on this website for a reason. I have no deep words of wisdom, but just wanted to tell you that I am just behind you. I have six more days to make a month. After a summer of relapsing, this month has also been surprisingly "easy". However, I know from many past experiences that when I take that first celebratory drink that I've had it. I'll likely binge for days. I can be called a problem drinker, high functioning, an alcoholic. I'm a drunk, and I got that way quite progressively. So watch out, and remember your month of sobriety. I wish you luck.

Tonedrinker

Thanks! All the best to you too.

sugarbear1

Can you have ONE glass of wine and not drink 30-60 days after that 1?

People without concerns don't think like this....

Best wishes!

Tonedrinker

I can but would rather not. Honest yet weak?

sugarbear1

Very honest! You seriously aren't alone in your obsession with alcohol. Alcohol was my solution until it stopped working. Then it was a symptom. We don't treat symptoms, we seek the cause of the symptom. Then we treat the cause. For me, I was that "cause" or problem.

I sought help through aa. That is not the only way nor is it for everyone. There are many methods & programs available.

I'm guessing that during your short period of abstinance what kept you moving was knowing you planned on drinking on Nov 1.

I told myself (in early recovery) that I wasn't drinking today, maybe I would tomorrow... Today, drinking or watching others drink is a non issue for me. I took the steps and continue to work them.

Find what works for you!

omenapt

(normies) those that are neither alcoholic nor problem drinkers dont EVER plan out their drinks days in advance..that is what jumped out at me...for most normies, a drink is a very spontaneous event with very little forethought or afterthought.

wyldwest

omenapt, best response so far, premeditation cannot be a good sign.

Tonedrinker, it's always a personal choice. For me it was easy to determine my status. But 10 years ago, I would have never made the connections.

I guess my two cents would be if you've made it this far and there's any chance you have a drinking problem, why put yourself in harms way. Like my dad used to say to me "everything seemed to be going just fine when up jumped the devil"

One more thing... I love a nice glass of wine myself, it's one of the fine things I will truly miss being a reformed alcoholic.

Best of luck!!

ACT10Npack

It's really up to you if you want to drink on November after 30 days of sobriety. If it was not hard to stop drinking for one month and you can go and drink a few drinks and not want more then you should not worry about over doing. But if you go back to your old ways and drink a 6 pack a day then it maybe time to only drink at social event or quit drinking all together.

Also do you drink because you just like the feel and taste of beer or do you have underlining issues your trying to not think about?

Itchy

I know how you feel. Sobriety is progressive! But you aren't in the stage yet to recognize that because it is progressive. I have been overindulging in sobriety for a year or more now and it keeps getting a stronger hold with every day. First it takes away your alcohol, and then lets you see what life is really like. Then it takes away your joy in dancing around with a lampshade on your head, or removes the pleasure of hurting others to bleed your own rages. It is easy to quit sobriety at first. But if you overdo sobriety regularly it progresses to where you can handle your feelings and resolve problems instead of drinking to ignore them and not care.

My sobriety has progressed too far to go back. I am hooked on feeling great in the morning and finishing what I start. I can't stop relishing the freedom of driving places safely and at any hour of the day or night because I am not chained to the house once I start drinking. Sobriety takes away your friends too! It is cunning and causes you to not care about your remembering every dull moment around people you used to care about as friends when they drink. You begin to make fun of them and hang around with those productive people who begin to seem natural to you, but who your drinking friends disapprove of. You start to live in daylight instead of the artificial dark of the pub and the club at mid day! You start to go outside! Outside is wet and cold or hot and can burn you!

My sobriety has gone too far for me to be able to recover from it again. Oh I know I can quit and all will tell me that all I have to do is have that first drink. Or for some who prefer to let others know about their problems to go to 90 bars in 90 days. But I can't find the strength to drink again and instead find myself wallowing in the money I save and having nothing the next morning to prove I had a good time by my inability to get started from my hangover. I even tried to fake a hangover and get by but they saw right through that. I am different now, and shunned. I might even lose my wife who still drinks and can't accept the way I have rapidly gained the ability to stop arguing because I choose to be happy instead of the friendly old schmuck I used to be. I am boring she slurred one night.

When I come in in the morning everyone seems to notice my genuine cheerful attitude. I don't know how I manage to keep this job since the boss knows I haven't partied any night in the week and they resent my setting the performance standards. I know they think I am a suck up, but it is the sobriety that is in control. I know it is all in my head and really me just giving in to the urge to be sober. But I am lost. I can't endure a life drinking without my dose of reality daily.

Hi! I'm Itchy and I'm sober, so I don't worry about how often or how much I drink.

I hope you have a sense of humor. You'll need it in a few years. I was the same kind of laid back high functioning drinker that was just laid back and never showed it because of my tolerance that had built up. I too did not drink to get drunk but just buzzed. I too used to drink 4 or 5 when I got home from work and that was enough if I worked late and got home at one hour to bedtime. I too had no police issues because I drank only at home, never driving ion more then two actual drinks. After I retired again at 57 I started drinking at noon as OK not 5. That really accelerated it because everyday was Saturday for me, still is. Then I started shaking so much from chain smoking and drinking about 30 units a day two an hour I started drinking scotch in my morning coffee to stop the shakes and then 7AM was my new 5 O'Clock for two years. I still wasn't stumbling drunk or staggering but was clearly headed that way when my morning hangovers became too much to bear, and I quit with a lot of help.

You might not be me in a few years. But if we ever met I know I would be looking in my mirror at who I was just a few years ago.

I made it by deciding that I could never have another drink, not one, or smoke, for the rest of my life. While I have better health than I should after all that abuse of my bod, I still did some damage. But see, I didn't really start drinking heavy until I was 40. Before that a six pack would be in the fridge for a month or two, and only be consumed with a friend and then only one. A fifth of scotch or Sudden Discomfort would last a year.

So I was a Normie for a lot of decades. Still got me.

Good luck whatever you decide.

lavida

whoa itchy, that really moved me...im on day 4...and ive made up my mind that im going to try hard because i didn't like the person i was when i was drunk..and everyone knew me as the girl u c in the pubs drunk even if it was once a week..my parents are alcoholic they finish two bottles of brandy daily and drinking has no start or stop. I really will miss that glass of wine, but 1 glass will turn into the whole bottle and by the time i am 50 . I may not know when to start or stop daily. So for now ill take it one day at a time..im excited to discover what the real me is without the alcohol..