Broken1987

I cant shake this horrible, constant feeling of shame over the things I have done when I was drunk. I feel like no matter how much I change, Im still going to know that I did them, like they will always haunt me. I break out in tears when im alone because my mind cant help but wonder to all those things that make me hate myself. Please help. People always say it gets better, but for me its just getting worse the longer im sober.

Dee74

Hi Broken
welcome

For me I really had to accept that, no matter how much I want to, I can't change one second of the past - whats done is done.

My energy is far better served in focusing on today - that's a day I really can do something about.

Ultimately, I had to draw a line and face forwards.

For me living right is like a kind of living amends - I found the more days I went to bed feeling comfortable and at peace with what I did that day, the less the past began to matter.

It does get better - and people do forget they way we used to be - the problem often comes when we can't forget.

I had a lot of self hatred too and a whole lot of long unresolved issues - if you feel you're not getting anywhere in dealing with issues from your past yourself, have you looked for help? some counselling really helped me get started.

You'll find a lot of support here too

D

least

I too recommend counseling to resolve any issues. I see an addiction counselor once a week and it's helped me to keep moving forward in my recovery and not slip backwards in my attitude.

I know about the shame tho, for a long time I thought I'd never feel human again, but I did and I still do. Took a while and some work on myself but the feeling of freedom now is wonderful. I'm finally free of those demons of my own making.

Get yourself some help, whether it's AA, another program, counseling, or whatever, just hang on to it and work it like your life depends on it... cause it does.

Anna

I found that "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle is a great book for helping us to, not only forgive ourselves, but to embrace the 'dark' side of ourselves. Learning to love the dark parts of ourselves and to bring those parts into the light, is most healing.

ACT10Npack

I try to learn from it and move on. You can't focus on the past too much because it will keep you in a deep depression. If everyone focus on something that they did wrong then nothing would be done anymore.

peaceful1

Forgiveness is the most beautiful gift you can bestow upon another, and upon yourself. How many times do you think you need to be reminded of the mistakes that you made before youv'e suffered enough? All we have is the present moment, please don't waste it by feeeling ashamed of yourself, let yourself off the hook.....only you can do it.

I think you might, well I actually think everyone might benefit from reading Eckhart Tolle. He is amazing, and can help you stay present and let go of the past.