Just Sad
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Oh dear... I wish I knew what to say. That moment of realizing that what you think hasn't been happening probably has been is just a sickening, heart wrenching awful moment. Been there- more than a few times.
I don't know what the right "advice" is per se. If he is using again, what will you do? I ask this bc I often would confront my stbxah when I realized he was drinking and lying again and had nothing to say other than that I was upset I was being lied to. It never made me feel better. What did finally make me feel better was telling him I wouldn't live with it anymore and being prepared to make that happen.
If it were me, I calmly confront him and say what you found and tell him (if you feel this way) that you won't be with him while he's actively abusing substances. It doesn't seem to me that there can be too many legit explanations for why there'd be a cap like the one you describe you found in his pocket. I'm sorry. Wish I had something more comforting to say.
I don't know what the right "advice" is per se. If he is using again, what will you do? I ask this bc I often would confront my stbxah when I realized he was drinking and lying again and had nothing to say other than that I was upset I was being lied to. It never made me feel better. What did finally make me feel better was telling him I wouldn't live with it anymore and being prepared to make that happen.
If it were me, I calmly confront him and say what you found and tell him (if you feel this way) that you won't be with him while he's actively abusing substances. It doesn't seem to me that there can be too many legit explanations for why there'd be a cap like the one you describe you found in his pocket. I'm sorry. Wish I had something more comforting to say.
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