Sponsorship
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 86
Sponsorship
I've had two sponsors.
My first sponsor came over once a week, opened the big book, read a chapter out loud and asked me if I had any questions and then left. After reading the book he had me write my inventory then did a 5th step.
My second (and current) sponsor literally flung a big book back over his shoulder and said "lets do something real".
I hear people in meetings say they will go through the book with anybody or that they will go through the readings with a sponsee. What is the usual way to do this? My first sponsor was annoying - I could read much faster than him and it just got aggravating listening. My current sponsor is awesome but we have never touched the big book.
I want to start sponsoring people but I'm not sure what to do, book wise. What are your experiences?
My first sponsor came over once a week, opened the big book, read a chapter out loud and asked me if I had any questions and then left. After reading the book he had me write my inventory then did a 5th step.
My second (and current) sponsor literally flung a big book back over his shoulder and said "lets do something real".
I hear people in meetings say they will go through the book with anybody or that they will go through the readings with a sponsee. What is the usual way to do this? My first sponsor was annoying - I could read much faster than him and it just got aggravating listening. My current sponsor is awesome but we have never touched the big book.
I want to start sponsoring people but I'm not sure what to do, book wise. What are your experiences?
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Personally, I work out of the Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve.
I do read with my sponsee .... sort of like a BB study meeting. We read a little and then discuss. That's how my sponsor did it with me. It's the only way I know.
We go over each step and discuss. Because my sponsor didn't do it with me I'm not one to just say "Read the first 164 pages and then call me." Not saying that's wrong, just not how I did it.
You should take a look at this AA pamphlet. It might help. LINK
I do read with my sponsee .... sort of like a BB study meeting. We read a little and then discuss. That's how my sponsor did it with me. It's the only way I know.
We go over each step and discuss. Because my sponsor didn't do it with me I'm not one to just say "Read the first 164 pages and then call me." Not saying that's wrong, just not how I did it.
You should take a look at this AA pamphlet. It might help. LINK
LIVING SOBER
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cent MD
Posts: 104
My first sponsor was a by the book guy.
He wanted to do a step per week.
Had a short drinking career.
Could not relate to decades of chasing demons.
Could not take phone calls or text messages at work.
Had a very hectic schedule with wife and children.
Only devoted twenty minutes before meeting once a week.
Was never available to discuss a problem on short notice.
Told me what was expected of me whether I understood or not.
My current sponsor understands the book.
He had fully surrendered his will well before he even got here.
He is available 24/7/365.
I have the luxury of having known him for over four decades.
I partied with him for over a decade.
He has over three decades of sobriety.
He makes suggestions and gives me options.
He guides me to books and chapters that explain the answers to my questions .
The first 164 pages for the basics/the twelve and twelve for its thoroughness.
He will share his wealth of knowledge with me.
He is well versed in the history and traditions of the program.
Speaking with him for ten minutes is like a meeting onto itself.
I feel that sponsorship is a responsibility and an honor.
It is a responsibility that I do not take lightly.
Someone’s life hangs in the balance if I do.
Someone’s life hangs in the balance if I do not.
When I feel confident about the match, I will.
When I do not, I share my experience strengthen & hope.
As I read and learn more, I progress.
I am not in this program to finish first.
I refuse to leave casualties in my wake.
Praying for positive progress in your journey, look
He wanted to do a step per week.
Had a short drinking career.
Could not relate to decades of chasing demons.
Could not take phone calls or text messages at work.
Had a very hectic schedule with wife and children.
Only devoted twenty minutes before meeting once a week.
Was never available to discuss a problem on short notice.
Told me what was expected of me whether I understood or not.
My current sponsor understands the book.
He had fully surrendered his will well before he even got here.
He is available 24/7/365.
I have the luxury of having known him for over four decades.
I partied with him for over a decade.
He has over three decades of sobriety.
He makes suggestions and gives me options.
He guides me to books and chapters that explain the answers to my questions .
The first 164 pages for the basics/the twelve and twelve for its thoroughness.
He will share his wealth of knowledge with me.
He is well versed in the history and traditions of the program.
Speaking with him for ten minutes is like a meeting onto itself.
I feel that sponsorship is a responsibility and an honor.
It is a responsibility that I do not take lightly.
Someone’s life hangs in the balance if I do.
Someone’s life hangs in the balance if I do not.
When I feel confident about the match, I will.
When I do not, I share my experience strengthen & hope.
As I read and learn more, I progress.
I am not in this program to finish first.
I refuse to leave casualties in my wake.
Praying for positive progress in your journey, look
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Look4billw,
Your second sponsor sounds like the "ideal". It seems that lot of sponsors perhaps take their responsibility lightly. Is it because they get jaded by sponsees lapsing and are tired of putting the energy in or are they just plain ignorant of their responsibility?
CaiHong
Your second sponsor sounds like the "ideal". It seems that lot of sponsors perhaps take their responsibility lightly. Is it because they get jaded by sponsees lapsing and are tired of putting the energy in or are they just plain ignorant of their responsibility?
CaiHong
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,969
My sponsor did/does more than a step a week. Big Book. History of aa is being read/discussed/learned now. About to go through the steps a third time-this time to learn the process. Preparing for sponsorship. We meet Friday for dinner/discussion-drive an hour to a meeting, hour talk (more) on way home. We also get to 2 other meetings-that's 3 a week. Phone calls 24/7/365.
This sponsor knows how to stay sober, has 4 other pidgeons, too & time for all of us plus some!
This sponsor knows how to stay sober, has 4 other pidgeons, too & time for all of us plus some!
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
my experiences is I have had 4 sponsors
first one got drunk
second and third ones died
4th one is great
we went thru the steps in the big book only
by that I mean we closely study them and live them.We got together when I was going thru the process and we would read a page and then discuss it
then read another page etc until we got thru with the particular reading or step
he made sure we was on the same page as far as understanding what the text and directions meant
first one got drunk
second and third ones died
4th one is great
we went thru the steps in the big book only
by that I mean we closely study them and live them.We got together when I was going thru the process and we would read a page and then discuss it
then read another page etc until we got thru with the particular reading or step
he made sure we was on the same page as far as understanding what the text and directions meant
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
My experience, both in being sponsored and in sponsoring others, has been to go through the book relating our personal experience. When it talks about the physical allergy, we talk about our experience with what happens when we drink. When it talks about the mental obsession, we talk about our experience with not drinking. When it talks about not knowing why we relapse, we talk about our experience with picking up that first drink. When it talks about powerlessness and loss of choice, we talk about our experience with picking up a drink in spite of deciding not to. When it talks about laying aside prejudice, we talk about our experience with current beliefs. You get the idea.
Whenever we see a direction, we take it. When it says pray, we pray. When it says write, we write. It's much more than just reading a book together. Anybody can read a book. Taking the action is the key. In order to be willing to take the action, I have to see the truth in the book as it relates to my own personal experience with alcoholism. Someone who has seen the truth about their own alcoholism, and has experienced a spiritual awakening as the result of the action, can help another to do the same thing.
Whenever we see a direction, we take it. When it says pray, we pray. When it says write, we write. It's much more than just reading a book together. Anybody can read a book. Taking the action is the key. In order to be willing to take the action, I have to see the truth in the book as it relates to my own personal experience with alcoholism. Someone who has seen the truth about their own alcoholism, and has experienced a spiritual awakening as the result of the action, can help another to do the same thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 36
Hi Frustriert,
My First Sponsor was a lot of fun, a real Marlboro Man of The World, full of stories and don'ts. I looked up to him and he was always available for me. The downside he didn't have a clue how to get an Alcoholic some relief from the alcoholism with the 12 steps. I needed a spiritual experience and he didn't know how to guide me there. That experiment almost killed me.
The Sponsor I have today is a Black belt at the steps and I trust him with the important matter of my life. He is available only when I'm willing to work the steps and has absolutely no time for my ******** justifications for being selfcentered. He told me from the start he was trying to get me God dependent and not Sponsor dependent and that is what he has done. He lives free and happy and he has shown me what I need to go to get the same.
I needed a spiritual guide with credibility not a friend. The best credibility an AA sponsor can get is when he gets his information from the Big Book, with that he has the backing of Carl Jung, Dr W D Silkworth and almost 100 recovered alcoholics.
Courage
Aiden
My First Sponsor was a lot of fun, a real Marlboro Man of The World, full of stories and don'ts. I looked up to him and he was always available for me. The downside he didn't have a clue how to get an Alcoholic some relief from the alcoholism with the 12 steps. I needed a spiritual experience and he didn't know how to guide me there. That experiment almost killed me.
The Sponsor I have today is a Black belt at the steps and I trust him with the important matter of my life. He is available only when I'm willing to work the steps and has absolutely no time for my ******** justifications for being selfcentered. He told me from the start he was trying to get me God dependent and not Sponsor dependent and that is what he has done. He lives free and happy and he has shown me what I need to go to get the same.
I needed a spiritual guide with credibility not a friend. The best credibility an AA sponsor can get is when he gets his information from the Big Book, with that he has the backing of Carl Jung, Dr W D Silkworth and almost 100 recovered alcoholics.
Courage
Aiden
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
My best sponsor would point out what steps applied to issues in my life during conversation. "That's a sixth step issue..." I learned a lot that way, better than just reading the steps -- living them.
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