OnMyWay11

I did not get any sleep last night due to the new shenanigans of the xabf. About 9:30 I started getting texts from friends about how he was trashing my AND my kids on Facebook. I went to his account and sure enough nasty stuff. I reported it and FB removed the post. Thank goodness. In addition he indicated he was now in a relationship. It was interesting, from my perspective. He said is was 'nice but no expectations'. Hmmmm my translation: she lets me drink and spend her money any way I want....but I digress.

My question is does anyone have experience with an xabf who enters a new relationship and STILL will not leave you alone??? How long did it take for him to stop harassing you? I get at least one episode per week. I kicked him out four months ago. The verbal abuse continues.

I also cannot understand why my kids are always brought into the mix by this idiot. I would never, and I mean NEVER, bring his son into a conflict with he and myself. Does anyone have this kind of thing?

nodaybut2day

Someone who has truly "moved on" will not feel the need to act childishly, in public, and seek revenge. He brings your children into this because they are easy targets and they are most likely your weak spots. He is seeking to hurt you, plain and simple, no doubt to ease the anger/hurt he feels. It's a simple (and childish) equation: you hurt him and now he wants to hurt you. Announcing his new relationship on FB is also an attempt to hurt you.

My exah has a new girl living with him within 3-4 months of our separation. I suspect she is the one he was cheating on me with during the end of our marriage. The verbal abuse continued until I made it stop. Emails were blocked or delivered directly into a folder aptly named "Moron". I also changed my cell phone number. And then I went into IGNORE mode. He grew tired of it around 11 months after my departure, but continued to email my parents for another 6 months after that. Blah blah blah.

Give it another 8 months or so. It'll come and go in waves. Whenever he feels down about himself and wants to blame someone, he'll pop back in to stick his tongue out at you.

suki44883

You can block him from your facebook and your telephone and email. If he can't get through to you, he'll eventually give up. Some people are just jerks.

Freedom1990

Agreed.

I don't "friend" toxic people on fb, nor do I wish to read anything they might post about me.

What they might post says a lot more about them than it does about me.

OnMyWay11

I have changed my phone number, unfriended him on fb and his emails go to spam. It is the mutual friends who relayed the information to me.

NDB2D I was glad to see his relationship change as I (foolishly) hoped it meant he would leave me alone.

I am just weary....dog tired....of it all.

Thumper

Ignoring is the best policy in my opinion too.

It took about a year before my xah finally stopped with all that kind of stuff. I'm glad he doesn't do facebook. He is on some social sites and dating sites but I have not gone looking to figure out which ones. No thank you. Cyberspace is big - I plan to avoid him

Linkmeister

My ex was on every dating site withing 2 weeks of our breakup. I took a look once and when I saw that he listed his drinking habits as "drinks socially" and the fact that he was "ready for a long term commitment", I laughed out loud, thinking to myself that the next lady (enabler) in his life would be welcome to him and the baggage he carries with him. He has no "real" friends - ones in the sense that he could pick up the phone to; he is totally estranged from his family and kids, so all he has are cyber friends.

After seeing this, I blocked him on FB, MSN, email, and phone. Like Thumper says, cyber space is big and frankly, I have more important things to do than scope out his on-line activities - say, like continuing my on-line Accounting courses and finding a permanent, full time job......

nodaybut2day

Perhaps it's time to ask your friends to stop telling you about him, seeing as he is now unfriended on FB. Good friends will understand your desire to stop hearing about him. The ones who don't aren't really friends...

OnMyWay11

I agree but I also need to say this was the first time that my friends told anything about his posts on FB and only because they were so disgusted by what he was saying. A number of them reported the post just as I did.

I did appreciate FB acting quickly to remove such filth.

wellnowwhat

I agree but I also need to say this was the first time that my friends told anything about his posts on FB and only because they were so disgusted by what he was saying.

Seems when the sh** hit the fan, it blew it back on him!

Cyranoak

Sounds like you need to set boundaries with your friends.

Also, this is why Facebook is evil.

Mitsy

I have a facebook account but have not added any local people to it. It's strictly for out of town friends or family. I highly recommend not adding any co-workers either as work issues "talked out" on facebook don't bode well for most employment situations. I also limit what I say about politics or religion. I didn't add any of my church friends who I see twice a month anyway as I thought that was pointless. I think facebook has gone a bit viral because people add people they don't totally trust or see on a regular basis anyway. I'd much rather pick up the phone & talk to someone locally than message them via facebook. It makes life a lot less complicated if you set those boundaries with facebook. True friends would not be interacting with this toxic ex-boyfriend of yours either. They need to block him or at least not tell you what he's saying. He is immature and selfish--all elements of an addicted person.

fulloffaith

Sounds like your friends were trying to look out for you, trying to protect you from his insults and nastiness. It's nice to have friends to look out for you.

You def sound like you really over him and want nothing to do w/ him. For me, I completely got rid of my Facebook account. Lots of my friends & family are on, but if there Is anything really important, I will find out from my true family and friends. Even though I blocked my stbxah, there were still connections through friends of friends. Pictures on friends pages or friends of friends would allow there to be an awareness of one anothers lives. Taking my page down, closing my account helped me to really go no contact! Like others said, if he's posting random crap against you, you don't have a lot of control. But I look at coming off fb as a way of me avoiding him. Just like I would not want to be at a party w/him, I do not want to be at all connected in cyberspace.

You are doing great! Stay strong and keep doing what feels right for you! Other people often just make really poor choices. Just stay the course.