OceanSize

hi,

i am still sober!

but i am out of town and didn't make it to any meetings. i'm going to try to get to one tomorrow, and my sponsor says i have no choice, but it's extremely difficult to get away from family because they dive deep in asking "what are you doing, why" etc

I feel a bit spiritually bankrupt, and less good than i did when i was going to meetings before the holiday.

I am still reading the big book, and remembering some mantras, but i feel out of touch with the fellowship and as a result - i feel....guilty.

like, super super super super guilty.

:help

ACT10Npack

You can always use the online meetings, we have here.

Ghostly

Seems like the meetings are really beneficial for you, especially right now. Do what you can to get to them. You need them. No point in feeling guilty, though guilt isn't always logical, so I get why you feel that way.

Good luck.

CarolD

Prayer keeps me connected and emotionally balanced...

guilt is not part of recovery....so please don't let yourself fall into that negetive pattern...
God forgives us when we ask.

Your family are unaware of your AA journey?
Perhaps this is a good time to bring it out to them?

FHB1

Hey oceansize! Good to see you here again and congratulations on your continued sobriety! I haven't seen you in the chat room or read any posts by you lately and was beginning to wonder how you were doing. I know what you are saying about how your family tends to "dive deep" asking questions about where you've been etc. My family does the same thing when I visit them. Good luck finding a meeting where you are. Have you considered actually telling your family that you are leaving to go to an AA meeting? Just a thought - but then again, I don't know your family and how they are likely to react to such a thing. Well take care and congratulations again!!

OceanSize

thanks everyone for your responses.

I say "family" but it's actually my boyfriend's family. I realize that complicates things, but I'm doing my best to behave without drawing attention to myself. My bf totally gets it, but at the same time, i seriously haven't found a moment where it isn't grossly obvious that i'm leaving the pack. Its just weird.

when is the next online meeting? I am going to try so so so so so hard to get to a meeting tomorrow. I feel off balance. i'm going to remember to crawl out of my head and away from the guilty feeling and engage in prayer tonight. But yes, i really do feel as thought i "need" a meeting, because I know i do, because i find they are helpful moments, and more helpful with frequency.

i'm babbling at this point. I am so grateful for SR and all of you.

CarolD

I no longer have the links.....but please use Google for on line meetings
I used Pal Talk and AA Online ..both had many meetings...