MissinHim

This is my first post. I am so confused...My husband is a drinker...has been for quite a few years. Lately, he has been getting worse. He has been upstairs since 5:15 passed out. My question is...How do I react to him tomorrow. I know this is a disease...am I suppose to act sympathic (he then thinks I am okay with it and drinks more) or do I act pissy and mad (then he thinks she's pissed anyway so why not continue to drink). I feel like I walk on egg shells all the time. I do not have any history with achololism in my family, don't drink myself (not that I am a goody goody, just don't like it) and I have no idea where to go with any of this. I find empty beer cans everywhere, and i mean everywhere. I have talked to I am blue in the face, his brother is in the program and has talked to him. his parents have talked to him. But as we all know...he has to help himself. I just don't know how to act in my own home. Let me say he is a very easy going drunk...never violent, doesn't bar hop, or stay out. Just likes to drink everynight and pass out. I feel like I am single and living with a roommate.

Some one please give me a little info....

LadyP

done that. The more you complain the worse it gets. I dont think there is a right thing to do. He just has to get his wake up call. My husbands was the fact that the doctor said he would loose his leg if he ever took another drink. Find peace for yourself and pray for guidance.

matters

Hello MissInHim and welcome!

I know how hard it is and frustrating! You want them to stop and they won't until they are ready. The only thing positive that you can do and have control of is take care of yourself! Remember that YOU are WORTH the time spent on YOU. It took me a very long time.....I have been married 26 years.... to get better at not reacting mad or sorry or whatever emotion the disease happened to bring upon me. It takes healing, and coming here is a great start. Keep coming back and you will get stronger here together with all of us one day at a time.

Hugs and prayers,
matters

12stepmarce

Welcome to recovery. Check out Al-Anon meetings, and your confusion will be lifted.

I found my answers there......and hope you will, too.

MindyK

You could be me... except my jerk is the meanest person I've ever met when he's drinking. I walk on eggshells all the time when he's around. when he's sober, it's fine. We can talk, enjoy our children, watch TV together, but once he's had just one beer he's instantly a different person. When he gets up from a night out, I usually just ignore the hell out of him. I don't include him in anything anymore, I don't ask his advice, I don't assume he'll be there for dinner or that he'll have anything done around the house when I'm at work and he's home sitting on his lazy arse doing nothing. I feel like a single mom with a roommate that doesn't pay any bills. He maintains that everything is my fault. If I get pissy and mad because he drinks then I'm a bitch and he leaves. If I say nothing then he still thinks I'm a bitch and leaves because I'm not affectionate towards him. I can't win. It doesn't sound like your case is quite this extreme, and I'm sure there are others that have it worse than me, but I would say to just ignore the hell out of him. You have better thinkgs to do than worry about him. He will not be any different no matter how much you complain, or give him the silent treatment, or bitch, or plead. Unless he's ready to be different. Ignoring him may just let you keep your sanity.

Good luck.