New here... My story, if you will
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
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New here... My story, if you will
I can't remember the post that I saw a few weeks ago that brought me here. But I ruminated over it, over and over. It was insightful, comedic, lovely, sad, and all around wonderful. Some day I'll have to find the poster of the thread... It was Ten something. I did a Google search for benzo addiction, which is what brought me here. Anyways, my story:
I had my first anxiety attack when I was about 11 years old. I didn't know what it was at the time; I just thought I almost fainted while registering at a new school. Life went on, albeit with bumps and shakes. Did well in high school and got into a very good college. Got married. Bad mistake. Had a kid. Great decision! Got divorced... Most of the ups and downs in life were already experiences by the age of 25 for me.
And then, one day, I couldn't be a passenger in a car while someone else was driving. There was no reason for this; I've never been in an accident, etc. Knowing that I had to make the 10 hour drive from my home to vacation in Florida, I asked my regular doctor for something that could help me during the trip. He gave me 0.5 mg of Ativan. I took it, and something in my brain just clicked. Like, wow, so THIS is what it's like to be normal! I never felt high or unsteady from it, and took it sparingly. But as time went on, my tolerance went up. Months and months go by, and I go from 0.5 to 1 mg of Ativan. A few months later that wasn't working. He put me on 0.5 mg of Xanax. Another month goes by, and I need 1 mg. Later on, I was taking between 8-12 mg's of Xanax a day. I wasn't rx'd that much, of course. I'd run short and wean myself off. During two of these weans, I tried to kill myself. So off to a 3 day stint at a psych ward. I was dx's as having: Major Clinical Depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was weaned off with Librium, and when I got out, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. He put me on Luvox. I tried to kill myself again- FOR NO REASON, mind you. So, anti-depressants weren't the pill for me. He put me on Klonopin, which didn't do anything, even at the max dosages. I'm back on Ativan. First it was 1 mg, 2x per day... And now it's 2 mgs, 3x per day. This is enough to knock down a small pony, I know. But guess what? It isn't working. It barely scratches the surface, and what's worse is that after being on benzos for a good 4 years, I have developed agoraphobia. The drug manfactures don't write this in the literature, but it's quite common. I've also tried BuSpar, Gabapentin, and Vistaryl... A non-addicting anti-anxiety med, a neuroepileptic, and an antihistamine, in that order. None worked.
I don't like being "tolerant". Last year, I had to have two surgeries: a breast biopsy, where they told me to take 0.5 mgs of Ativan 45 minutes before the biopsy. I laughed. I also had to have a tonsillectomy at the age of 28--YIKES! The anesthesiologist had problems getting me under... It was quite sad, to say the least. Yes, they had records of the meds I was on, so I don't know why it was such a shock why the usual meds didn't work as well for me.
In any case, I AM TIRED OF THIS CYCLE. I really don't agree with the 12 steps... And I feel like I'm in some weird category. I didn't chose to be addicted, but I am. And I'm quite sure there's a difference between being "addicted" or "dependent" on a substance. My "cycle" goes something like this: I am rx'd 45 2 mg Ativan pills every two weeks, a total of 90. Sometimes I take 1 or 2 a day, and sometimes I take 3 or 4 pills just to get out of the house to mow the grass, or go to the grocery store. Lately I've had horrible insomnia, with nightmares and violent thrashing around in the middle of my sleep. I took Ambien years ago, before I was on any benzo, and it only made me hallucinate. My regular doctor said Lunesta would give me the same result. He said, try Benadryl. I said, I do. What works is: 4 benadryl tablets, 2 gabapentins, and 6 mgs of Ativan, all at once. He scheduled a sleep study for me, and I'm waiting for them to call me. This cannot be good. I've told my pdoc this, but he is weary about taking me off of them, as its never been pretty before. He said to try to take 2 a day, instead of 3. I haven't been able to. Towards the end of my rx, I sit and count the pills and the days til my next refill, often cutting the pills in half to make it. At this dosage and time frame, I'm sure I'd have a seizure if I went without. I've asked him about adding Valium, it being longer acting, but to no avail. I gotta either go up, or get the heck off of them. If he isn't willing to help me, I'll need a (GASP!) rehab center. I called a few, and they want people to stay for 30 days, but I feel like I only need a week or two to detox. Plus, I don't want to be strip-searched or treated like a criminal. I'm fairly healthy, I've never bought drugs from the streets, I don't think I need major behavior modification. I see him next week, and I'll see what he says. Oh, and I know all about gradually withdrawing, the Ashton Manual, water titration, interdose withdrawal and everything else you can possibly imagine... I have been on them for 4+ years and have researched the heck out of them, and know that a sudden dose decrease could very well kill me.
Consequences? I'm a prisoner to this drug. A drug that barely works, that is. I've lost family members and friends, by choice. I've heard, "You look like a Zombie"... "You're a drug addict", and the most hurtful was when my own mother called children and youth and told them that I was taking narcotics! I never considered myself being in THAT situation. I complied... All drug tests came back negative, of course and they closed the case. That put a dent in our relationship, for sure. I am not "one of those people"! I have a son who just turned 9 and I have never hurt, neglected, etc. him by any means. I'm the definition of the overprotective, neurotic parent. So, I have literally ZERO friends. I don't even talk to my 3 siblings, for different reasons. I only go outside for the essentials. I avoid crowds, people, malls, etc. Luckily, I have a wonderfully, loving, and supportive fiance. He is my rock. His mother was an alcoholic and died last year as a result. In a strange twist of fate, he doesn't drink or consume drugs, and fully understands addiction. I really lucked out with him.
The post "Ten" wrote mentioned "the pill hunt". It's so sad and hilarious all at the same time. I've been there, so I had to chuckle.
I don't feel like I chose this dependance... I know no one does, no matter the substance. I'm not sure what the point of this thread is. Guess it's my way of introducing myself
I had my first anxiety attack when I was about 11 years old. I didn't know what it was at the time; I just thought I almost fainted while registering at a new school. Life went on, albeit with bumps and shakes. Did well in high school and got into a very good college. Got married. Bad mistake. Had a kid. Great decision! Got divorced... Most of the ups and downs in life were already experiences by the age of 25 for me.
And then, one day, I couldn't be a passenger in a car while someone else was driving. There was no reason for this; I've never been in an accident, etc. Knowing that I had to make the 10 hour drive from my home to vacation in Florida, I asked my regular doctor for something that could help me during the trip. He gave me 0.5 mg of Ativan. I took it, and something in my brain just clicked. Like, wow, so THIS is what it's like to be normal! I never felt high or unsteady from it, and took it sparingly. But as time went on, my tolerance went up. Months and months go by, and I go from 0.5 to 1 mg of Ativan. A few months later that wasn't working. He put me on 0.5 mg of Xanax. Another month goes by, and I need 1 mg. Later on, I was taking between 8-12 mg's of Xanax a day. I wasn't rx'd that much, of course. I'd run short and wean myself off. During two of these weans, I tried to kill myself. So off to a 3 day stint at a psych ward. I was dx's as having: Major Clinical Depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was weaned off with Librium, and when I got out, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. He put me on Luvox. I tried to kill myself again- FOR NO REASON, mind you. So, anti-depressants weren't the pill for me. He put me on Klonopin, which didn't do anything, even at the max dosages. I'm back on Ativan. First it was 1 mg, 2x per day... And now it's 2 mgs, 3x per day. This is enough to knock down a small pony, I know. But guess what? It isn't working. It barely scratches the surface, and what's worse is that after being on benzos for a good 4 years, I have developed agoraphobia. The drug manfactures don't write this in the literature, but it's quite common. I've also tried BuSpar, Gabapentin, and Vistaryl... A non-addicting anti-anxiety med, a neuroepileptic, and an antihistamine, in that order. None worked.
I don't like being "tolerant". Last year, I had to have two surgeries: a breast biopsy, where they told me to take 0.5 mgs of Ativan 45 minutes before the biopsy. I laughed. I also had to have a tonsillectomy at the age of 28--YIKES! The anesthesiologist had problems getting me under... It was quite sad, to say the least. Yes, they had records of the meds I was on, so I don't know why it was such a shock why the usual meds didn't work as well for me.
In any case, I AM TIRED OF THIS CYCLE. I really don't agree with the 12 steps... And I feel like I'm in some weird category. I didn't chose to be addicted, but I am. And I'm quite sure there's a difference between being "addicted" or "dependent" on a substance. My "cycle" goes something like this: I am rx'd 45 2 mg Ativan pills every two weeks, a total of 90. Sometimes I take 1 or 2 a day, and sometimes I take 3 or 4 pills just to get out of the house to mow the grass, or go to the grocery store. Lately I've had horrible insomnia, with nightmares and violent thrashing around in the middle of my sleep. I took Ambien years ago, before I was on any benzo, and it only made me hallucinate. My regular doctor said Lunesta would give me the same result. He said, try Benadryl. I said, I do. What works is: 4 benadryl tablets, 2 gabapentins, and 6 mgs of Ativan, all at once. He scheduled a sleep study for me, and I'm waiting for them to call me. This cannot be good. I've told my pdoc this, but he is weary about taking me off of them, as its never been pretty before. He said to try to take 2 a day, instead of 3. I haven't been able to. Towards the end of my rx, I sit and count the pills and the days til my next refill, often cutting the pills in half to make it. At this dosage and time frame, I'm sure I'd have a seizure if I went without. I've asked him about adding Valium, it being longer acting, but to no avail. I gotta either go up, or get the heck off of them. If he isn't willing to help me, I'll need a (GASP!) rehab center. I called a few, and they want people to stay for 30 days, but I feel like I only need a week or two to detox. Plus, I don't want to be strip-searched or treated like a criminal. I'm fairly healthy, I've never bought drugs from the streets, I don't think I need major behavior modification. I see him next week, and I'll see what he says. Oh, and I know all about gradually withdrawing, the Ashton Manual, water titration, interdose withdrawal and everything else you can possibly imagine... I have been on them for 4+ years and have researched the heck out of them, and know that a sudden dose decrease could very well kill me.
Consequences? I'm a prisoner to this drug. A drug that barely works, that is. I've lost family members and friends, by choice. I've heard, "You look like a Zombie"... "You're a drug addict", and the most hurtful was when my own mother called children and youth and told them that I was taking narcotics! I never considered myself being in THAT situation. I complied... All drug tests came back negative, of course and they closed the case. That put a dent in our relationship, for sure. I am not "one of those people"! I have a son who just turned 9 and I have never hurt, neglected, etc. him by any means. I'm the definition of the overprotective, neurotic parent. So, I have literally ZERO friends. I don't even talk to my 3 siblings, for different reasons. I only go outside for the essentials. I avoid crowds, people, malls, etc. Luckily, I have a wonderfully, loving, and supportive fiance. He is my rock. His mother was an alcoholic and died last year as a result. In a strange twist of fate, he doesn't drink or consume drugs, and fully understands addiction. I really lucked out with him.
The post "Ten" wrote mentioned "the pill hunt". It's so sad and hilarious all at the same time. I've been there, so I had to chuckle.
I don't feel like I chose this dependance... I know no one does, no matter the substance. I'm not sure what the point of this thread is. Guess it's my way of introducing myself
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
There are actually many paths you can take to recovery. Some are listed here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I hope you find something that works for you! Good luck!!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I hope you find something that works for you! Good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 664
Originally Posted by BlueCat2011 
I can't remember the post that I saw a few weeks ago that brought me here. But I ruminated over it, over and over. It was insightful, comedic, lovely, sad, and all around wonderful. Some day I'll have to find the poster of the thread... It was Ten something. I did a Google search for benzo addiction, which is what brought me here. Anyways, my story:
I had my first anxiety attack when I was about 11 years old. I didn't know what it was at the time; I just thought I almost fainted while registering at a new school. Life went on, albeit with bumps and shakes. Did well in high school and got into a very good college. Got married. Bad mistake. Had a kid. Great decision! Got divorced... Most of the ups and downs in life were already experiences by the age of 25 for me.
And then, one day, I couldn't be a passenger in a car while someone else was driving. There was no reason for this; I've never been in an accident, etc. Knowing that I had to make the 10 hour drive from my home to vacation in Florida, I asked my regular doctor for something that could help me during the trip. He gave me 0.5 mg of Ativan. I took it, and something in my brain just clicked. Like, wow, so THIS is what it's like to be normal! I never felt high or unsteady from it, and took it sparingly. But as time went on, my tolerance went up. Months and months go by, and I go from 0.5 to 1 mg of Ativan. A few months later that wasn't working. He put me on 0.5 mg of Xanax. Another month goes by, and I need 1 mg. Later on, I was taking between 8-12 mg's of Xanax a day. I wasn't rx'd that much, of course. I'd run short and wean myself off. During two of these weans, I tried to kill myself. So off to a 3 day stint at a psych ward. I was dx's as having: Major Clinical Depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was weaned off with Librium, and when I got out, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. He put me on Luvox. I tried to kill myself again- FOR NO REASON, mind you. So, anti-depressants weren't the pill for me. He put me on Klonopin, which didn't do anything, even at the max dosages. I'm back on Ativan. First it was 1 mg, 2x per day... And now it's 2 mgs, 3x per day. This is enough to knock down a small pony, I know. But guess what? It isn't working. It barely scratches the surface, and what's worse is that after being on benzos for a good 4 years, I have developed agoraphobia. The drug manfactures don't write this in the literature, but it's quite common. I've also tried BuSpar, Gabapentin, and Vistaryl... A non-addicting anti-anxiety med, a neuroepileptic, and an antihistamine, in that order. None worked.
I don't like being "tolerant". Last year, I had to have two surgeries: a breast biopsy, where they told me to take 0.5 mgs of Ativan 45 minutes before the biopsy. I laughed. I also had to have a tonsillectomy at the age of 28--YIKES! The anesthesiologist had problems getting me under... It was quite sad, to say the least. Yes, they had records of the meds I was on, so I don't know why it was such a shock why the usual meds didn't work as well for me.
In any case, I AM TIRED OF THIS CYCLE. I really don't agree with the 12 steps... And I feel like I'm in some weird category. I didn't chose to be addicted, but I am. And I'm quite sure there's a difference between being "addicted" or "dependent" on a substance. My "cycle" goes something like this: I am rx'd 45 2 mg Ativan pills every two weeks, a total of 90. Sometimes I take 1 or 2 a day, and sometimes I take 3 or 4 pills just to get out of the house to mow the grass, or go to the grocery store. Lately I've had horrible insomnia, with nightmares and violent thrashing around in the middle of my sleep. I took Ambien years ago, before I was on any benzo, and it only made me hallucinate. My regular doctor said Lunesta would give me the same result. He said, try Benadryl. I said, I do. What works is: 4 benadryl tablets, 2 gabapentins, and 6 mgs of Ativan, all at once. He scheduled a sleep study for me, and I'm waiting for them to call me. This cannot be good. I've told my pdoc this, but he is weary about taking me off of them, as its never been pretty before. He said to try to take 2 a day, instead of 3. I haven't been able to. Towards the end of my rx, I sit and count the pills and the days til my next refill, often cutting the pills in half to make it. At this dosage and time frame, I'm sure I'd have a seizure if I went without. I've asked him about adding Valium, it being longer acting, but to no avail. I gotta either go up, or get the heck off of them. If he isn't willing to help me, I'll need a (GASP!) rehab center. I called a few, and they want people to stay for 30 days, but I feel like I only need a week or two to detox. Plus, I don't want to be strip-searched or treated like a criminal. I'm fairly healthy, I've never bought drugs from the streets, I don't think I need major behavior modification. I see him next week, and I'll see what he says. Oh, and I know all about gradually withdrawing, the Ashton Manual, water titration, interdose withdrawal and everything else you can possibly imagine... I have been on them for 4+ years and have researched the heck out of them, and know that a sudden dose decrease could very well kill me.
Consequences? I'm a prisoner to this drug. A drug that barely works, that is. I've lost family members and friends, by choice. I've heard, "You look like a Zombie"... "You're a drug addict", and the most hurtful was when my own mother called children and youth and told them that I was taking narcotics! I never considered myself being in THAT situation. I complied... All drug tests came back negative, of course and they closed the case. That put a dent in our relationship, for sure. I am not "one of those people"! I have a son who just turned 9 and I have never hurt, neglected, etc. him by any means. I'm the definition of the overprotective, neurotic parent. So, I have literally ZERO friends. I don't even talk to my 3 siblings, for different reasons. I only go outside for the essentials. I avoid crowds, people, malls, etc. Luckily, I have a wonderfully, loving, and supportive fiance. He is my rock. His mother was an alcoholic and died last year as a result. In a strange twist of fate, he doesn't drink or consume drugs, and fully understands addiction. I really lucked out with him.
The post "Ten" wrote mentioned "the pill hunt". It's so sad and hilarious all at the same time. I've been there, so I had to chuckle.
I don't feel like I chose this dependance... I know no one does, no matter the substance. I'm not sure what the point of this thread is. Guess it's my way of introducing myself
I had my first anxiety attack when I was about 11 years old. I didn't know what it was at the time; I just thought I almost fainted while registering at a new school. Life went on, albeit with bumps and shakes. Did well in high school and got into a very good college. Got married. Bad mistake. Had a kid. Great decision! Got divorced... Most of the ups and downs in life were already experiences by the age of 25 for me.
And then, one day, I couldn't be a passenger in a car while someone else was driving. There was no reason for this; I've never been in an accident, etc. Knowing that I had to make the 10 hour drive from my home to vacation in Florida, I asked my regular doctor for something that could help me during the trip. He gave me 0.5 mg of Ativan. I took it, and something in my brain just clicked. Like, wow, so THIS is what it's like to be normal! I never felt high or unsteady from it, and took it sparingly. But as time went on, my tolerance went up. Months and months go by, and I go from 0.5 to 1 mg of Ativan. A few months later that wasn't working. He put me on 0.5 mg of Xanax. Another month goes by, and I need 1 mg. Later on, I was taking between 8-12 mg's of Xanax a day. I wasn't rx'd that much, of course. I'd run short and wean myself off. During two of these weans, I tried to kill myself. So off to a 3 day stint at a psych ward. I was dx's as having: Major Clinical Depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was weaned off with Librium, and when I got out, I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. He put me on Luvox. I tried to kill myself again- FOR NO REASON, mind you. So, anti-depressants weren't the pill for me. He put me on Klonopin, which didn't do anything, even at the max dosages. I'm back on Ativan. First it was 1 mg, 2x per day... And now it's 2 mgs, 3x per day. This is enough to knock down a small pony, I know. But guess what? It isn't working. It barely scratches the surface, and what's worse is that after being on benzos for a good 4 years, I have developed agoraphobia. The drug manfactures don't write this in the literature, but it's quite common. I've also tried BuSpar, Gabapentin, and Vistaryl... A non-addicting anti-anxiety med, a neuroepileptic, and an antihistamine, in that order. None worked.
I don't like being "tolerant". Last year, I had to have two surgeries: a breast biopsy, where they told me to take 0.5 mgs of Ativan 45 minutes before the biopsy. I laughed. I also had to have a tonsillectomy at the age of 28--YIKES! The anesthesiologist had problems getting me under... It was quite sad, to say the least. Yes, they had records of the meds I was on, so I don't know why it was such a shock why the usual meds didn't work as well for me.
In any case, I AM TIRED OF THIS CYCLE. I really don't agree with the 12 steps... And I feel like I'm in some weird category. I didn't chose to be addicted, but I am. And I'm quite sure there's a difference between being "addicted" or "dependent" on a substance. My "cycle" goes something like this: I am rx'd 45 2 mg Ativan pills every two weeks, a total of 90. Sometimes I take 1 or 2 a day, and sometimes I take 3 or 4 pills just to get out of the house to mow the grass, or go to the grocery store. Lately I've had horrible insomnia, with nightmares and violent thrashing around in the middle of my sleep. I took Ambien years ago, before I was on any benzo, and it only made me hallucinate. My regular doctor said Lunesta would give me the same result. He said, try Benadryl. I said, I do. What works is: 4 benadryl tablets, 2 gabapentins, and 6 mgs of Ativan, all at once. He scheduled a sleep study for me, and I'm waiting for them to call me. This cannot be good. I've told my pdoc this, but he is weary about taking me off of them, as its never been pretty before. He said to try to take 2 a day, instead of 3. I haven't been able to. Towards the end of my rx, I sit and count the pills and the days til my next refill, often cutting the pills in half to make it. At this dosage and time frame, I'm sure I'd have a seizure if I went without. I've asked him about adding Valium, it being longer acting, but to no avail. I gotta either go up, or get the heck off of them. If he isn't willing to help me, I'll need a (GASP!) rehab center. I called a few, and they want people to stay for 30 days, but I feel like I only need a week or two to detox. Plus, I don't want to be strip-searched or treated like a criminal. I'm fairly healthy, I've never bought drugs from the streets, I don't think I need major behavior modification. I see him next week, and I'll see what he says. Oh, and I know all about gradually withdrawing, the Ashton Manual, water titration, interdose withdrawal and everything else you can possibly imagine... I have been on them for 4+ years and have researched the heck out of them, and know that a sudden dose decrease could very well kill me.
Consequences? I'm a prisoner to this drug. A drug that barely works, that is. I've lost family members and friends, by choice. I've heard, "You look like a Zombie"... "You're a drug addict", and the most hurtful was when my own mother called children and youth and told them that I was taking narcotics! I never considered myself being in THAT situation. I complied... All drug tests came back negative, of course and they closed the case. That put a dent in our relationship, for sure. I am not "one of those people"! I have a son who just turned 9 and I have never hurt, neglected, etc. him by any means. I'm the definition of the overprotective, neurotic parent. So, I have literally ZERO friends. I don't even talk to my 3 siblings, for different reasons. I only go outside for the essentials. I avoid crowds, people, malls, etc. Luckily, I have a wonderfully, loving, and supportive fiance. He is my rock. His mother was an alcoholic and died last year as a result. In a strange twist of fate, he doesn't drink or consume drugs, and fully understands addiction. I really lucked out with him.
The post "Ten" wrote mentioned "the pill hunt". It's so sad and hilarious all at the same time. I've been there, so I had to chuckle.
I don't feel like I chose this dependance... I know no one does, no matter the substance. I'm not sure what the point of this thread is. Guess it's my way of introducing myself
I've been dealing with severe and debilitating anxiety most of my life. I've done many things to alleviate it including drinking, smoking pot, taking hallucinogens, taking benzos, taking anti-psychotics and none of them really worked. The reason is because the drugs are just a cover-up, like makeup for your anxiety. They make you feel good in the short-term, but then you become dependent or addicted to the benzos in the long-term and I actually found they made my anxiety worse. Dr. David Burns is a clinical psychiatrist who has treated people with depression and anxiety for decades now and he firmly believes anxiety must be treated without these drugs. I disagreed for a while until it became apparent to me it was true and after I read his very helpful book When Panic Attacks.
Last year, after many months of extremely anxiety-causing situations, I started doing reiki, which is energy healing for the body, starting practicing Buddhism and meditation, exercised regularly, cut my sugar intake down, and started working in therapy about the root causes of my fears and I have reduced my anxiety at least 40-50 percent since August. It's not an easy road by any means, but it's much preferable to being addicted to Ativan like I was (fortunately I had a pdoc who stopped prescribing it to me after a while because of my drinking habits). The unfortunate thing about benzos for many people like you and I is we build up a tolerance and keep taking more and more until we either can't function anymore like other people or don't wake up. I'm a little disturbed anyone with a medical degree would prescribe someone 6 mg of Ativan and I feel bad you are on that much. Just know it's nothing to be ashamed of and even if you are addicted, there's no shame in that (there's more people addicted to something you can imagine on this planet). I also have insomnia, but have regularly got good sleep for the past month or so. I take 50-75 mg of Seroquel, 6 mgs of melatonin, I shut off the computer/TV an hour before sleep, I meditate for 15 minutes and sometimes I put a few drops of essential oils like sandalwood, bergamot or lavendar (maximum of three times a week) on the bottom of my feet (really works great).
But despite all of that, I have found the ONLY thing that really reduces my anxiety is doing the mental work to discover what is making me afraid and what to say to my brain to re-wire it. I also try to keep in mind that fear is an illusion, a bogus lie, and we only suffer from it when we believe what it says is true. Fear is just imagination and fear is only about what's coming next, never what's in the present moment. And, 98 percent of my fears never come true.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I've been battleing this myself big time. However I refused the drugs been there done that no thanks. I started doing a lot of reading about various alternative remedies. For panic attacks raw apple cider vinegar couple table sppons in water or wtvr beverage applejuice is nice too got my panic attacks in check 3 times a day i took that. I tried valerian root it helped and probably any and every other herbal wtvr remedy. Your stomach is very import read about your stomach and your overall mental health. The short of it is the importance of a good probiotic and serotonin to keep your mental health in order. Serotonin is made by a bacterial process in your gut only so much is made. No good bacteria in your gut will cause a list of other problems. So for me i got on a probiotic started taking an herbal thing called 5-HTP and things improved. I'd highly recomend taking 5-HTP sparingly and reading about serotonin syndrome however as well. While it helps more will not always help more it could put you in the hospital etc..
After doing all these various things along with exercise and eating foods that are good for your mental health say eggs for the tryptophan (which gets changed to serotonin) and Foods that are High in omega 3's things start to turn around.
life is still not perfect but much improved. I hope this helps I have lots of other ideas too I've tried so much and come so far on my own journey.
After doing all these various things along with exercise and eating foods that are good for your mental health say eggs for the tryptophan (which gets changed to serotonin) and Foods that are High in omega 3's things start to turn around.
life is still not perfect but much improved. I hope this helps I have lots of other ideas too I've tried so much and come so far on my own journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Posts: 32
I went the benzo route in low dose for a short time and had hideous withdrawals for 3 years.
I am now 22 years off and in a 5 year severe anxiety breakdown and many of the benzo symptoms have come back.
I also went through 18 months of antidepressant withdrawal and will NEVER touch a psyche drug again.
I am now 22 years off and in a 5 year severe anxiety breakdown and many of the benzo symptoms have come back.
I also went through 18 months of antidepressant withdrawal and will NEVER touch a psyche drug again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I've read horror stories about the anti-depressents. Believe me many docs probably feel i should be on one. No thanks. That is just too risky. You read these stories of people killing there families or the school shootings where the kids where on prozac or what ever. No thanks.
Its hard really hard I dont feel we as people where designed to live in a society like we have created for ourselves. So many people have nice big smiles on there faces and so many others sit around getting depressed wondering why there the miserable ones. I found lots of them with smiles are on some kind of drug to keep them that way. Sad but true and in todays world sadly they probably need it to cope.
Its a difficult road without those things but it can be done there are ways to make it tolerable and easier.
Its hard really hard I dont feel we as people where designed to live in a society like we have created for ourselves. So many people have nice big smiles on there faces and so many others sit around getting depressed wondering why there the miserable ones. I found lots of them with smiles are on some kind of drug to keep them that way. Sad but true and in todays world sadly they probably need it to cope.
Its a difficult road without those things but it can be done there are ways to make it tolerable and easier.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 248
I don't know... I think that some of the drugs are bad for sure, especially if they are habit forming. I am sorry that happened to you, Blue Cat!
However, some meds make a real difference in people's lives. I am taking Wellbutrin for my anxiety and it really helps stabilize my mood. Nothing else worked, not Prozac, not Effexor... nothing.
However, some meds make a real difference in people's lives. I am taking Wellbutrin for my anxiety and it really helps stabilize my mood. Nothing else worked, not Prozac, not Effexor... nothing.
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