Symmetry

Am I really an alcoholic? What the heck is an alcoholic? I don't look like one and I'm totally functional. When did people realize they had a problem? I just think it is so strange that I am what I thought only others were. Or that I would never relate to an addict. It's this way of thinking that makes it easy to slip. oh god help me.

Symmetry

I mean, I feel fine right now. Just in the future.

nickoftime

We need more details, but if you are questioning it, then that is a sign that you may be one.

Mark75

Do you drink even when you promised yourself you wouldn't? Do you drink more than you intended to? Despite the consequences?

Reset

Don't get caught up in the labels. If you think your drinking is a problem then maybe you can do something about it.

Symmetry

Good questions. Yes to all.

checkmate1

When I had to tell myself this is my limit for the day and then exceeded that amount I knew there was a problem. I also drank by myself another telltale sign of alcoholism.

Symmetry

good god. drinking alone is a telltale sign? It's what I prefer.

sobermax

I don't think it has much to do with quantity or labels, like Reset says. If it is causing you problems, you can stop.

Mark75

I liked to drink with my good bud, weiser... And Jack. LOL. I know, lame and un-original. From George Thorogood's "I drink alone".

Another

I realized it was a problem when my body started breaking down and my mind started feeling sorry for itself. You deserve the happiness thats possible with the truth and steady hard work.

Symmetry

Exactly! This is just too personal to get caught up in labels. Thank you so much for the reminder. Thank you!

Symmetry

Someone else said its not necessarily what you do but how you feel.

I'm just trying to grasp what this means to me. Why is it real and why do I need to stop. How do I control the voice that says its not really a problem? I just don't want health problems and I want to be present. I want to fight this.

MycoolFitz

Well, I was totally functional until I wasn't. Of course even then I thought I was totally functional but booze will feed you those lines. Not sure what an alcoholic looks like, guess I can look in the mirror. There's worse dis-eases than alcoholism to me, all it requires from me is that I don't pick up again. I think I'm pretty lucky.

BurnToBuild

I had the exact same thoughts but blocked it out until just recently. I just had a "drinking problem" for a number of years.

Symmetry

To be successful, I need to stay away from labels. The whole introducing myself as an alcoholic seems ...idk...i'm not feeling it. I'd rather admit alcohol controls me or come up with a really sweet mantra about renouncing all that is bad...idk. It's more the coming to terms and getting a grip. It's been helpful to read your advice and stories. If I can relate that's probably another sign eh? Yep, this is real.

Reset

It's confusing, and a bit scary, isn't it?

I had this internal dialogue for years, falling farther into the abyss while it went on.

When I finally quit it was because I decided that the only way I was going to find out if/how much of a problem it was was by quitting to find out.

I know that approach isn't for everyone but if you're confused about how it's affecting you, you could try going without and see what happens. For me, the results were surprising.

Symmetry

Thanks. Exactly. I know this sounds cheesy but being sober is like a magical experience. Especially when you've been drinking everyday. I just wanna remember this and not allow myself to be fooled. That voice...yes. it's very confusing.

NobleCause

It took me a super long time to come to terms with the "a" word, tho when I did, I actually found it helped to be able to put a name to things. If nothing else, it proved to be a good exercise in acceptance.

That said, as far as I can tell, labels aren't necessary to get sober, just the ability to be honest with yourself.

Itchy

What's the doctor's definition of an alcoholic? Anyone who drinks more than they do. Stop drinlking for 30 days and if you can then you may not be one. I was a raging alcoholic until I realized that being functional, as in not staggering and slurring but drinking 20 - 30 units a day wasn't functional, it was my built up tolerance to it, to a degree that could have shut me down and was getting there fast . . . scary!

There is a video on you tube from the UK called rain in my heart. It is in 10 parts and they are each short maybe 8 minutes each. It is a must see, and I am from the US. It follows several alcoholics two to their deaths. They wouldn't/couldn't stop. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0InrPZpjg

I stopped ten months ago yesterday. I think I would be dead today had I not. I stopped still very functional. Had to check into a 7 day detox in a hospital to get off it. I am not going through that again. Never again, never one drink, I don't want to be a normal drinker and relapse from that delusion.

I am not suffering in deprival, I am wallowing in survival.

Good luck! You came to the right place.