melon1989

I married my long term friend/partner as part of his effort to get sober... then I got on a plane in Seattle and came home to Virginia. Right before I left he started selling drugs, using heroin all the while begging me not to leave. It broke my heart to get on that plane but I had to take care of myself. I could not leave my life in Virginia to help him continue to ruin his in Washington state. I sat outside last night and cried to myself that I would not sacrifice myself. I wouldn't abandon post and go back to Washington to cater to his illness. So many people do not understand why I am 3000 miles away. That really hurts.

Impurrfect

(((Melon))) - good for you for doing what is best for you! Sadly, most people who haven't dealt with an addict have no clue. That's why it's great to have SR, al-anon, nar-anon, counselors, therapists, whatever you need to feel supported.

WE get it, along with the feelings you're going through. Get comfy, read through some other posts, and find out you are not alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

pacificsunrise

melon1989,

welcome to SR and good for you. i know that the decision to leave was not easy, however it was the best thing for you. i have also recently (4 months) left with my 2 kids and it is still not easy.

i am glad that you have found us. people here at SR have been through a lot and are very welcoming and have helped me cope a whole lot.

i just wanted to welcome you and let you know that you are not alone. also, please don't feel bad, because you did what you had to do. you did it for yourself and for your sanity, but also for him, because had you stayed, it still wouldn't have helped him any and you would have definitely felt much worse.

my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kindeyes

I welcomed you to SR in your other post about the letter but I say this post and wanted to welcome you again.

You are not a bad wife. You are a person who is doing her best to cope with a very difficult situation. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They aren't dealing with it. You are. And you are dealing with it in a very brave way. You are taking care of yourself.

Stick around, keep posting, and let us know how you are doing. We do care.

gentle hugs
ke

Eddiebuckle

Melon, you don't have to browse for long in the family & friends forum to know that nothing external to the addict will change the addiction. Anyone who doesn't understand why you are in VA simply doesn't understand, period. Marriage is not an agreement to sacrifice oneself at the alter of your spouses addiction and denial. That's not being "good" - that's being insane.