soberkellyxo

Hi, I was just searching Google for tips on how to stop drinking and I found myself here. I'm not sure if I even have a problem but I thought I'd make an account anyway. I'm quite nervous about being judged since I don't even know if this is really a "bad" problem, one that I need to come here to discuss, ha.

Basically my story is (do you do this?) that I'm a 20 year old female from England. I started heavily drinking out of boredom when I was 14, literally drank the house dry of spirits, wines, beers - you name it, it was in my system. My dad has always been a bad drinker, he's a brilliant dad but he does enjoy a drink. I've watched him my whole life and now I'm following his footsteps. I'm worse than him though since he drinks a few every day, but I drink until I literally lose control.

I'm now 20 and it has got worse than ever. I had a bad break up and resorted to the best solution I knew to block it out - alcohol. It turned into this every single night, and I got a brief job which I'd been wanting so much but I didn't stop drinking every night.. When I lost it, it hit me even harder.

Now things are technically looking up because me and my boyfriend got back together, I've been getting out more.. but I'm still drinking until I can't function anymore, every night. It just gets to a point at about 8pm and I'll find myself reaching for the bottle. Recently it's been two bottles of wine or a bottle of vodka a night. Then there's the weekends where I go out and go completely overboard. I wouldn't even mind if I still went out at the weekends, it's just the "during the week" thing that's bothering me.

I don't really understand why I keep doing it, but I do love it. It's grown into an awful habit. It's 6:13am and I'm still awake because this is the first night in over 2 weeks that I haven't drank until I passed out. I struggle to sleep when I'm sober. During the day I constantly feel like my head is stuffed with cotton wool because I'm always hungover.

I recently had a trip to hospital because I had trouble with my stomach. It felt like I was being repeatedly jabbed in the belly button, so I went to A&E to get tested. They told me there after blood tests that I need to cut down on my drinking, and the reason I was ill was probably because my body just needed rest. I was in so much pain that I didn't drink for 7 days, and I felt so much better. But then I thought that since I was "invincible" that I could just slip back into it. It seems that the only time I ever doubted drinking was when I was sick.

Sorry if this is a rambling mess or I'm not supposed to give so many details, I just thought I'd release some of my anger here ha. I'm going to continue looking around to look for tips and things I guess..

CarolD

I'm glad you joined us...Welcome....

Please do take these problems you mentioned as a wake up call to get and stay sober.
Yes you too can win over alcohol...

artsoul

Welcome to the forum soberkelly - As they say, if drinking causes you problems, it IS a problem. Thanks for sharing your story - I think you're going to find that you fit right in here!

Insomnia is really common for several days (or a little longer) right after quitting drinking. You may also feel tired for a while, but it gets better and better.

I drank a bottle of wine most nights and it really messed me up, especially emotionally and mentally. The mornings got pretty bad (oh, the anxiety....) and I'd tell myself I was going to quit or cut back drastically yet found myself running to the store to get another bottle that very same evening.

There's a lot of support here, so stick around and keep posting/reading.

Ghostly

Welcome to SR!

I didn't take your Post as rambling, and you didn't give too many details. Was good to get to know about you.

Read around here, and Post as much as you like. You will get a lot of support here.

Clearly alcohol is causing you problems, but it is up to you how you deal with it.

Good luck.

soberkellyxo

Ahhh, thank you.. I think I made a wise decision by finally realising there are places like this to help, ha. Maybe it'll be a good distraction too.

Dee74

Welcome Kelly
Great advice here - like others have said, if you think it's a problem it is....but I recognise a few red flags from my own past there, for sure.

Good to have you with us

D

newwings

Hi SoberKelly, glad you have joined us! It's pretty scary, all this at first, but SR is the most amazing place for people who want to quit drinking and stay quit, and need support. Please stay with us.

You have many reasons to quit, as you explained. But one little thing you wrote amongst all of your post stuck out:

Do you really love it? Or are you doing it because you have to? It's quite a thin distinction at the beginning of a sober journey, but it's absolutely essential for you to explore this a bit further.

Keep reading and posting, and thanks for sharing your story.

soberkellyxo

I do think I love it, ha. Maybe I'll feel differently soon..

I'm going to stick around on here though, I never even thought of joining anything like this.

Thank you for making me feel welcome.

instant

Hi SoberKelly welcome- I hope you find a way forward you are comfortable with

Mariano

Hello, Soberkelly, I think one bottle of vodka a day is really a very big quantity. I thnk you had a good idea doing something about this problem.

davewilson33

soberkelly ur story is a lot like mine, drinking because of boredom and habit, im only on day 3 but feel alot better, i too like you love to drink but i now find its affecting my health and my bad moods are affecting my family, stick with it here and we can do this!!

p.s try some ginger ale and orange juice thats what im on

Fenris

Welcome Kelly. I could relate to several things in your story, but the only person who can really decide if you have a problem is you. Keep coming back.

--Fenris.

ETA

Hi Soberkelly!

Yeah I googled all sorts of stuff before I finally figured out that I can't control my drinking at all. I tried moderation, just weekends etc. with some luck but always ended up throwing that out the window - blacking out, driving drunk, being a total mess...

The thing about "loving it" - I get that. I liked forgetting my worries for a while and lowering my inhibitions so I could do things like go dancing and talk to cute boys. But that right amount of "tipsy" was a very brief bit of time in years of drinking too too much. In the end it caused me to be more worried and made me more inhibited.

Trust me - you don't want to spend another 20 years getting smashed. I'm 40 now and had to hit bottom way too many times to get to the point where I admitted to myself that I'm not like other people - I can't drink at all.

bblackbirdflyy

soberkelly,

don't worry about being judged here. We are all going through similar life events.
If you feel like you want to quit this is a great place for support.

I went through a period of super heavy drinking in my teens and realized that I was out of control in my early twenties. When I cut back the first time I used strict diet and exercise as an aid. But the cravings to drink were still there and I still went back to it now and then, completely overdo-ing it when i did.

Well I had two children and the exercise died off completely (lack of time/energy) the diet follwed shortly after. I found myself in a deep depression and alcohol slowly built up to be a major problem again.

I have now been drinking way too much for the last year and a half and want to quit for good. I was an alcoholic then, and I'm an alcoholic now.

I guess, you have to ask youreself how long you want to ride the roller coaster...

yogaisland

Hi soberkellyxo, just like you I found this site yesterday by Google trying to figure out if I had a problem or not. Like others have said, if you start feeling like it's a problem, then it probably is a problem. You named several problems that are being caused by drinking (your health is suffering, etc) so yes I think it is a problem for you just like it is for me. Try cutting back at first if you can't stop totally, and try to keep focused on how much better it feels to wake up without a hangover. I can channel the memory of a hangover pretty sharply when I consider having a drink in order to discourage myself. I have bad motion sickness so I have to be nauseated enough in my life, no need to do something that causes it on purpose!! Just remember that you deserve to feel good and healthy and if alcohol is interfering with that, then it needs to go.

Hevyn

Hi soberkelly - so glad you found us and wanted to tell your story.

When I was 20 I was just like you. Unfortunately, I never did anything about my drinking - just kept trying to control it until it almost killed me. The warning signs were there all along, but I never had the courage to face the truth and quit. I'm glad you're questioning your drinking habits - I hope you find some answers here.

tvalerie27

I stumbled across this page Googling "what to do on the weekends instead of drink" ~ I have as long as I can remember been a binge drinker on the weekends partying and now I can't remember the last time I went a day without at least one drink. Don't black out a lot but definately can't stop at just one. I need a new start. I come home to an empty house, I live alone with my 2 cats, don't have many friends in town here, and drinking covers up the lonliness. I've noticed I've lost interest in a lot of my hobbies that I have, nothing seems to intice me that did before. I have about one ounce of vodka left in the bottle (that lasts about 2 weeks, but that doesn't include going out & happy hour with the neighbors). Alcohol has been all I have ever known. My family has always had alcohol at every function and I've watched every single member of my family get s*tfaced more than once. Is it possible for me to not give up alcohol entirely and still be able to have a cocktail with friends/family once in a while? I drink more when I'm alone so not keeping alcohol in the house is huge in itself. I'm tired of waking up in the morning feeling like sh*t and not wanting to get out of bed and remembering that I used to be able to work out just about every morning before work. It seems rare when I'm able to do that now. I am depressed I will admit but the alcohol is not helping me ONE bit and thats what I need to work on first. Thanks for reading!

yogaisland

tvalerie27, I don't know the answer to your question but it is one I am asking myself too. Will I be able to have a glass of champagne at New Years? But there is no way to answer that now. I think it is more important to focus on giving up alcohol for now and deal with whether you can have a little or not later on. I think maybe that one day I might be able to have one drink on a special occasion, since I have never been compulsive about drinking, but I have the feeling that when I get there, I am not going to want the drink. This last three weeks with no alcohol has been the best of my life, despite my house getting robbed and pulling a muscle in my side (from too much exercise, my new hobby instead of drinking.) I'm extremely happy despite what's happening, because I feel healthy and know I am improving my life. I know what you mean about it being hard to imagine life without alcohol - my family is also social drinkers, my husband still drinks, my best friend loves to drink. I'm afraid of estranging them with my new habit (or non-habit.) But you have to look out for yourself and take care of yourself first. If alcohol is hurting your life, which it sounds like it is, then you need to stop entirely and get back in touch with yourself.

tvalerie27

Thanks for the encouragement. I know I will constantly be getting the "would you like a cocktail' offers and "why nots" this weekend. It will be a tuff weekend!! I am motivated and ready. I love waking up feeling good.

soberkellyxo

Thank you for all the replies, I had no idea that people could be so nice about this sort of thing, I always get frowned upon. When I usually get comments about my drinking habits it's just "get over it, you'll kill yourself" or "you drink too much - stop it. it's not that hard".. But I don't think they really understand? Ha. But then again, I haven't really been admitting to people about how badly it's got.

I'm not entirely at the "I want to quit forever" thing because it's been a huge part of my life for so long, it's basically my best friend hahahh. And I now doubt that "simply" cutting down will be as easy as I thought.

We'll have to see! But I'm getting a lot of encouragement here. Came to the right place.