transformyself

So, my business partner is a Narcissist, or something. I have figured out how to deal with her, but it's so hard. Here's another situation I got myself into by not being freaking sane enough to thoroughly assess the sanity level of someone before engaging. I pray and am pretty sure those days are over, but I"m still stuck with this one.

Yesterday she started screaming at me about how angry she is that I'm doing legislative work and formed a new organization while she's working her fingers to the bone. I didn't bother telling her, "Look, you have other ways of making money, you have two other jobs in addition to this paper, I need work too," because it's futile.

I think I'm signing a contract as a consultant this week and am worried she'll find out and be jealous too. That sucks.

But just now when I tried to talk to her about an article she's suppose to be writing for the July issue, she just yelled at me. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I DON'T CARE. I said, "Ok, gotta go, talk to you tomorrow when you're feeling better." and hung up the phone.

It reminds me of when I have to do that with AH if he calls and is an ass to me. I just say Gotta Go! and get the hell off the phone.


At least the good news is, while I do have a teensy bit of guilt or fear creeping up about setting that boundary with her just now, I am in no way compelled to continue to engage. Man, that used to run my life. I would go over and over agian in my head how I'm right and she's wrong and maybe call her back to tell her that! What the heck was wrong with me?

Now, I just want to get back to work and hope she doesn't call back.

vujade

I've always said that with mutually respectful relationships, we can accomplish anything. It's so frustrating that some people don't get that.

It sounds like you handled things beautifully to me, TM. I wish I was at a point where I could come up with stuff like that immediately. People can be as nasty as they like...they just have to do it by their lonesome.

Keplar

I work in an office where I'm pretty sure everyone hates me, because a) it's commissioned sales and b) I'm the new girl. I wish I had good advice to you on how to deal with it. I just try not to let their issues affect me, but it is awfully hard. The only person that seems to not detest me is leaving :-( Just do the best you can and what you feel is the right thing to do in all situations. There is probably nothing you can do to make this person happy. I literally will speak to my co-workers and half the time they just ignore me. One of them decided to bitch me out on our group text we use. I just wish people had the decency to not act like self-centered jerks.

Tuffgirl

It is a rare person who does not being their ego to the office.

transformyself

Thanks everyone. I think I'm becoming more narcissistic, because everything is about ME. How do I feel? What do I want? What should I do?

At least the answers are no longer, "depressed because no one loves me, I want AH to stop drinking and figure out how to control AH!"

TakingCharge999

Progress not perfection!! your recovery is shining!! HUGS from me and my mom!! I told her about the Lakota woman I "know" today...

MsPINKAcres

How awesome ~ you gave her dignity and respect by showing yourself respect!!

rather than let her continue on a tirade ~ you stopped it with direct, calming words - wonderful example of your recovery!!!!

Good luck on the new job aspects - hope it all works out well for you!!!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

transformyself

Ms.Pink you are always such a wonderful cheerleader. It's inspirational! Thank you.

transformyself

And TC- thank you too Chica, I have no mom so a hug from you and your mother is very special!