4 weeks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 96
4 weeks
Funny, huh? I never really thought I'd make it this far. The longer I go, though, the more I start to think about the "future" (as opposed to just "don't drink today/tonight"), and that's still a hard one for me. I picture upcoming events: hanging at the beach with my alcoholic (still drinking) brother and my mother who is now confined to a wheelchair and watching my Dad do everything for her. . .and not drinking; throwing my husbands 40th birthday party complete with full bar, band and bonfire. . .and not drinking; selling my company for a crap-ton of money. . .and not drinking.
I can KIND OF picture each event individually but the thought of the me that will not ever drink again is so foreign to me, it's impossible for me to picture that person.
For years and years (decades, actually) I was defined by being that party girl, the one who could drink the guys under the table, always up for a wild and crazy time, you know me, right? So I need to completely redefine myself and I am not sure what I want that to look like. I just can't really picture it right now.
Funny, I don't really want to drink (though on Sunday when my old boozer girlfriend broke out the bottle of Absolute at her pool party I had to high-tail it from her house quick), I just can't picture what my life looks like NOT drinking (permanently). I guess I need to figure out what that looks like if I'm going to make it. And I sure as hell don't want to go through days 1 - 14 again.
Just rambling thoughts here, not very eloquent, but thanks for listening. I come here every night, sometimes I post, sometimes I respond, sometimes I just read. Regardless of which, you all help me every night just by being here. Thanks for being a part of me saving my life.
Sweet, and sober, dreams to you all.
I can KIND OF picture each event individually but the thought of the me that will not ever drink again is so foreign to me, it's impossible for me to picture that person.
For years and years (decades, actually) I was defined by being that party girl, the one who could drink the guys under the table, always up for a wild and crazy time, you know me, right? So I need to completely redefine myself and I am not sure what I want that to look like. I just can't really picture it right now.
Funny, I don't really want to drink (though on Sunday when my old boozer girlfriend broke out the bottle of Absolute at her pool party I had to high-tail it from her house quick), I just can't picture what my life looks like NOT drinking (permanently). I guess I need to figure out what that looks like if I'm going to make it. And I sure as hell don't want to go through days 1 - 14 again.
Just rambling thoughts here, not very eloquent, but thanks for listening. I come here every night, sometimes I post, sometimes I respond, sometimes I just read. Regardless of which, you all help me every night just by being here. Thanks for being a part of me saving my life.
Sweet, and sober, dreams to you all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
congratulations on your month aDaisy 
To be honest most of my early recovery was squarely focused on just not picking up again...once I got that down, I relaxed a little to the point where I could then ook at what I wanted myself and my life to be like
I think you're doing great
D
To be honest most of my early recovery was squarely focused on just not picking up again...once I got that down, I relaxed a little to the point where I could then ook at what I wanted myself and my life to be like
I think you're doing great
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on your 4 weeks - that's a real accomplishment!
I'm going to ditto what Mariano said: just take it one day at a time. When your head starts taking you out into the future, just bring it back to the present moment. By the time those occasions come up, you'll be that much stronger.....
Once I got a few of those special events behind me, I found that it really wasn't a big deal..... infact I enjoy myself more when I'm not thinking about that "next drink" the whole time. Keep up the good work!
I'm going to ditto what Mariano said: just take it one day at a time. When your head starts taking you out into the future, just bring it back to the present moment. By the time those occasions come up, you'll be that much stronger.....
Once I got a few of those special events behind me, I found that it really wasn't a big deal..... infact I enjoy myself more when I'm not thinking about that "next drink" the whole time. Keep up the good work!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Daisy
I think it must be a "normal" problem to go through- when we stop shovelling toxins into ourselves after so long. Building a sober life is a longer term challenge compared to the difficult few weeks we have been through (i'm day 44).
I am not in a "program" but I consider my options- there are a lot of micro-challenges to build that life that I can't envisage either, and to be honest it's been a day to day proposition up until very recently.
Take care
I think it must be a "normal" problem to go through- when we stop shovelling toxins into ourselves after so long. Building a sober life is a longer term challenge compared to the difficult few weeks we have been through (i'm day 44).
I am not in a "program" but I consider my options- there are a lot of micro-challenges to build that life that I can't envisage either, and to be honest it's been a day to day proposition up until very recently.
Take care
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