here we are - again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: florida
Posts: 207
here we are - again
hello everyone -
22 days clean and sober, this last few times from being out there really kicked my a.... the blackouts got alot worse, almost was arrested, and just was scaring alot of family and friends. It was scary stuff, the progression had shown it's evil eye and I was lucky there were no legal consequences.in the last 22 days I have been able to pick myself up again and the family is feeling happy for me and I was able to finish my schooling(was getting very behind, but caught up) as well.. Anyway, just going to meetings and trying to get into the swing of things again. I do have a sponsor from before. The 22 days I have now are the most in about 8 months.. feels weird and I am starting to get anxious thinking I can do something else (drugs) instead of alcohol, which is my drug of choice..(but, luckily i am afraid) I also had an offer to go away to a rehab out of state, but I just don't know if it will help me. basically, I feel blah, blah, blah.... starting to feel sorry for myself, having regrets about my past decisions in my life, wondering what the future will be like sober?, I am sure you can relate? I guess I am starting to feel a little again. sorry for rambling and thanks for reading..
22 days clean and sober, this last few times from being out there really kicked my a.... the blackouts got alot worse, almost was arrested, and just was scaring alot of family and friends. It was scary stuff, the progression had shown it's evil eye and I was lucky there were no legal consequences.in the last 22 days I have been able to pick myself up again and the family is feeling happy for me and I was able to finish my schooling(was getting very behind, but caught up) as well.. Anyway, just going to meetings and trying to get into the swing of things again. I do have a sponsor from before. The 22 days I have now are the most in about 8 months.. feels weird and I am starting to get anxious thinking I can do something else (drugs) instead of alcohol, which is my drug of choice..(but, luckily i am afraid) I also had an offer to go away to a rehab out of state, but I just don't know if it will help me. basically, I feel blah, blah, blah.... starting to feel sorry for myself, having regrets about my past decisions in my life, wondering what the future will be like sober?, I am sure you can relate? I guess I am starting to feel a little again. sorry for rambling and thanks for reading..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
That's up to you if you want rehab. I think for some people going to rehab is a waking call more then anything else. Gives you time to clean up and show that you can't be in the world like the rest of us. If you have free time and someone is paying for it. Then go to it and get 30 days sobriety on your belt.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Petewill - Even though you're having some anxiety, it sounds like you've done a LOT of work the past 22 days. You should give yourself a pat on the back! I could relate to your post because I often get tangled up in what the future holds and/or feelings about the past. I think we can get overwhelmed when we do that (especially in early sobriety), so I have to remind myself daily that I can only do what I can do, step by step. One day at a time.
So, if you can just focus on the moment and remember the positive stuff, it would probably help. It's really helped me anyway. Hang in there - you're doing it!:ghug3
So, if you can just focus on the moment and remember the positive stuff, it would probably help. It's really helped me anyway. Hang in there - you're doing it!:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: florida
Posts: 207
Thanks Artsoul...
yeah, trying to stay positive, but feeling bummed that I know I cannot drink any longer.... sucks.. want to now, but terrified to... !!!!!. Went to a meeting at noon and am trying to not overwhelm myself with the "what's going to happen?"," how with the future be?" etc.etc.. sorry , being sober is a lonely existence for me, as when I drink I temporarily get that warm and encompassing feeling.... but then, it goes away and repercussions are to be had.....
yeah, trying to stay positive, but feeling bummed that I know I cannot drink any longer.... sucks.. want to now, but terrified to... !!!!!. Went to a meeting at noon and am trying to not overwhelm myself with the "what's going to happen?"," how with the future be?" etc.etc.. sorry , being sober is a lonely existence for me, as when I drink I temporarily get that warm and encompassing feeling.... but then, it goes away and repercussions are to be had.....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I didn't want to change either Pete...I wanted to be a drinker...and that desire nearly killed me.
I eventually had to accept my lot...if I wanted a good life, and to be who I knew I could be, I couldn't drink.
As it turns out, the life I've built for myself has exceeded all my expectations. I love my life and who I am and I don't want to lose it.
It took a lot of hard work but I changed and so did my perceptions, my aspirations and my thoughts about alcohol.
I used to drink all day everyday - I wouldn't drink now for anything - I don't want to.
You can get there too Pete - I believe it
D
I eventually had to accept my lot...if I wanted a good life, and to be who I knew I could be, I couldn't drink.
As it turns out, the life I've built for myself has exceeded all my expectations. I love my life and who I am and I don't want to lose it.
It took a lot of hard work but I changed and so did my perceptions, my aspirations and my thoughts about alcohol.
I used to drink all day everyday - I wouldn't drink now for anything - I don't want to.
You can get there too Pete - I believe it
D
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