sunshinebaby

I'm back. I hate to write it but I am. And because this is the first place I thought of, I realise I have a problem.

I am a binge drinker..I can go 3 or 4 nights without drinking then I'll have a weekend where I'll drink say 2 glasses of wine then 2 mixers...probably not alot in some eyes, but it's having an affect on me and so it's a problem.

I have been this way ever since my teens when we would get older kids to buy alcohol for us that we would hide and drink...most kids did this. Harmless maybe at the time...or not?

Anyway the rest of my life has in someway involved alcohol..and I have stopped so many times..when trying for a baby, I didn't drink, when pregnant and breastfeeding I never drank...I can stop. But I always go back.

I stopped last year for 7 months and felt fantastic. Then I fell pregnant with a happy surprise baby..but lost it (my 6th miscarriage). I started having a small glass of wine again..then it was two glasses...I can't just have one.

So I've slowly got back into my bad habits..I like a glass of wine while relaxing with a movie...the two go together...I'm looking forward to a glass of wine after a stressful day at work..( I should just get on the treadmill instead).

Last night I had a mini grown up tantrum in front of my kids.....I can't believe the way I behaved..I am so ashamed..This is not how I want to parent...I can be a better mother.....

The thought of not drinking alcohol again kind of scares me....how do I relax with friends at dinner....can it be done?? Can I separate the two?

Aussies are renowned for big drinking, partying ect can I have fun without it?

I am going to do just that.....I am a strong person but I need some support to let me know I'm not a total crap mother which is what I feel like right now..

Thanks for reading x

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Sunshine - I'm glad you're back tho.

Yo must know as well as I do there are many many Aussies who don't drink - and have fun, fulfilled and joyous lives.

I had to change a few things about my life if I wanted to stay sober - people places and things - yes....but I didn't lose out on the deal. Quite the contrary.

I'm sure you're not a crap mother - I wasn't a bad person either - but I wasn't giving myself much of a chance to shine, y'know?

The past 4 years really have been the best of my life, Sunshine

D

sunshinebaby

Thank you..its kind of like that glass of wine or two or three is standing in the way of who I could be...and what I want to achieve.

Dee74

exactly. I never used to look at myself in the mirror I was so disgusted in myself.
It's still not a pretty sight LOL but I'm very happy to be able to do that these days

D

Anna

Hi Sunshine,

Glad to see you back!

It does take some changes for sure as far as habits. I used to drink wine while watching a movie in the evening, and I found that I had to stop the movie habit for awhile too. And, yes, you can have fun without drinking. For me, I don't go out as often as I used to and that's okay with me.

sunshinebaby

Thank you, and I really think some of my trouble is that it's become a habit to me..and I'm going to break that habit.