Buelah

Hello. I am new to this site and looking forward to continuing my goal of a healthier lifestyle. I am very hyper and always on the go, same as my husband. Our friends call us the hummingbirds because we always run as if we are on a liquid sugar high. My husband and I take good care of ourselves. Cook healthy, work out 3-4 times a week. Love the outdoors...backpacking, canoeing, winter camping. Taking our 4 dogs for daily walks. We love to ride our motorcycles. We appreciate every thing we have, and feel we have it better than we deserve. We are very social and enjoy our friends and family. I love nature and feel every thing was put here for a purpose. Nothing makes me smile more than watching spring and summer evolve - the smell of lilacs, honeysuckle...the site of new life, baby birds, rabbits, and now, the fawns. Simple things amaze me. We just finished raising our own chickens....there's nothing better than being a "farmer"...funny when it's someone that grew up in the Motor City. We live in the country, and it's a wonderful way of life.

Here's my disappointment in my life. I do drink too much. It's not destroying my work, or my family life, but I know it is not healthy. I love my "cocktails", but it's becoming too many. And I know it. My husband likes to drink, too. He loves his beer. If you see him, he has a beer. So, I know we both need to stop, but I have to work on myself first, and he will have to decide at some point, as well. It's not something I can do for him. But, I know if I put my mind to it (with some friendly support here), that I can do it.

I'll tell you where I'm at. I'm good all day until about the same time every day. I think, ah I'll have a beer or a mixed drink. Then I have another, another, and another. I never drink to passing out or getting sick, but I drink every day, and enough to get a little buzz. What I have found if I drink too much, I do get angry with my hubby which is not fair to him. And I know it. I normally don't drink to the point of a hangover. Once in a while wake up with a headache. But, IT'S EVERY DAY that I'm drinking. And I want it to stop. Once in a while I might go a day or two, but that's about it.

For me it's more of a health thing. We also have diabetes in our family, and I'm religious about my bloodwork to keep tabs on it. I'd rather stop now then when the doctor says I have to. And I know my mind and body will be healthier for it.

I have tried the moderation...and every one here is right. There is no such thing. So......help keep tabs on me. Your support and friendship is something I know will only make me stronger. I do love a glass of home made wine and fortunately, that is the only drink when I have, I have one. It's usually in the winter sitting by the fire and relaxing with a magazine, my dogs,and my sweetie.

Thanks a bunch!

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking and live a sober life.

I think it's good to remember that stopping drinking is the beginning. Drinking is a symptom and, in order to recover, we need to deal with the underlying issues.

StreamWader

Wow. You are hitting the nail right on the head. I read your post and I see myself 10 years ago. Except I didn't see the consequences of what was happening 10 years ago. Since it wasn't affecting work, I rarely had a hangover and I wasn't being offensive, I couldn't have a problem, could I?

I am only 6 days sober and during the past ten years there have only been a handful of times I went three days without a drink. And my drinking got worse. Going from a few beer each day to a lot of beer each day. Going from a lot of beer each day, to a lot of beer and a few shots each day and then a lot of beer with a few more shots each day.... you get the picture.

The step you are taking now is the right one. Congratulations for recognizing the problem before it became a real big problem. And if you say it is a problem, then it is. Social aquaintences (Who may be in the same boat) may say "You! You're not an alcoholic!" Perhaps even your husband. You must take control of the situation, do not allow other to tell you differently.

You will find a lot of support here. People with much more time in sobriety give inspirational and sound advice. Come back when you feel weak, come back when you feel strong. Just keep coming back and push that bottle away.

Kjell

Hi B-

I know how you feel and welcome to SR. You'll find a ton of support here. I noticed a few things I wanted to kindly comment on-

I know it sounds cheesy, but admiting this is the first step. Congrats!

Yep, this is classic alcoholic drinking. I would day-by-day say I wasn't going to drink and then I'd end up drinking. Wonder why that is?

Quitting for your health is a great reason to quit, but if you find yourself drinking when you don't plan on it and you can't always control how much you drink when you start, than you might be an alcoholic. Only you can decide, but just some food for thought.

Maybe it is more than a "health thing"?

Looking forward to reading more of your posts

Kjell~

pocketpanda

I echo SteamWader's sentiments. I see myself 10 years ago in your post and myself ten years later in his.

I wish I had done then what you are doing now. I'm also in love with the beauty of nature and the outdoors, but my increased drinking has robbed me of the ability to enjoy it. I'm glad your taking steps now so that it doesn't happen to you.

To celebrate what I hope will be my first day three since I can remember, I plan to be up early on Saturday (unheard of for me), hit the farmer's market and then one of the local forests for a long hike. I *want* to do these things every weekend, but I never can because I'm tired and foggy from a night of heavy drinking and bad sleep.

Buelah

Thank you for your comments. I know I'm not alone, and I know many have gone through the same thoughts and some worse. But, that's where I'm at. I don't want it to get worse, and I know my only option is to stop. Hard to do when there are 2 bottles of Crown Royal in the cabinet, a fridge full of beer, and a wine rack full of wine. But, that's my goal, is to walk right by them and maybe someone will want a beverage when they stop by. I want to be strong enough to have it in the house, but to not touch it.

What started to scare me is doing straight shots right out of the bottle followed by a beer chaser. My family would be horrified if they knew. I've done it when people were over without them knowing. I'd hide the empty bottles so my husband didn't know I finished off that bottle. What the heck? I know I don't need it, but my body "craves" it. And that's why I know it's a problem.

I do believe I'm an alcoholic, but I'm grateful it hasn't destroyed any aspect of my life yet, other than what it's probably doing to my liver.

It is hard when a lot of the people we know are drinkers. And my husband is full of the lines "can't drink all day unless you start in the morning". "I've only had two beers today...my first and my last". And I'm not knocking him. I really have a wonderful husband. He has a heart of gold and is always willing to help others. He's compassionate, giving of himself, and very outgoing. He has tried to quit before, and, too....ends up right back at it. He said his body ached...is that normal? I know he can quit. He's very strong minded. When he was in his last marriage, his ex-wife said "you can't quit smoking", so he dropped the pack of cigarettes and hasn't touched one since. So, I know he can do it, he just has to want to do it.

We both have alcoholism in our family. My older brother was one, and has been sober since 9/11. The day he was let out of rehab, was when the twin towers were bombed. My brother in law, is now, too a recovering alcohlic. He was in a bad way. Destroyed his marriage, and fortunately, his boss is a recovering alcoholic, so when he got out of rehab he gave him his job back...only if he stayed sober. So, far so good.

We have friends that quit as a couple as they were over drinking and she was always angry when she drank. So, they now drink NA beers when socializing. Does any one find that works for them?

I've read many posts on here and my heart aches for those that are really far into it, but I know they can do it, too. Every one has to take that first step...this is mine, and I look forward to making new friends, and keeping this part of my life in check.

Streamwader, that does my heart good to know you have been in this boat, too, and wanted to make a change. Not destructive, but not good. Congrats on your 6 days sober - don't put "only" in front of it. Something to be proud of. I can't wait till I can say 6 days sober. Keep me in line - sounds like we are on the same path.

Buelah

Pocketpanda - enjoy nature through sober eyes. It's the best way. That's what I always loved about backpacking....can't take a case of beer or a bottle of booze when you are counting ounces. So, I was sober all week...and loved it. Partied when I got off the trail. But was glad I was able to be where I was without having a drink. Each day treat yourself to a reward for making it another day. Watch a sunset, put your feet up, look at the stars. We can all do this TOGETHER!

pocketpanda

"What started to scare me is doing straight shots right out of the bottle followed by a beer chaser. My family would be horrified if they knew. I've done it when people were over without them knowing. I'd hide the empty bottles so my husband didn't know I finished off that bottle."

I started doing that around 2005. With whiskey it's called a boilermaker and was my favorite drink of choice until around 2010 when I gave up the beer part and just stuck with whiskey. It's slippery slope, Buelah. You can do this.

I worry about all the liquor in your house though. Is there any way at all you can encourage your husband along on your journey?

And yes, I'll do that this weekend. Enjoy nature with sober eyes. I hope I can do it!

Buelah

Yes, boilermaker. I've heard the term before from my Dad regarding my Grandpa after he fought a long haul of fires.

I can tell my husband any thing, so I know if I tell him I took this step, he would know I'm truly serious about this. I'm sure he would try with me. I guess right now, I'm trying it out on my own....well, not really my own...you all will be my help and support, but you know what I mean. I just want to know I can do it, even for a week straight and then sit down and talk with him about what I'm trying to do and why.

I know, too, that as I get through this, I hopefully can help to make a difference in someone else's life that is facing the same struggle.

Drinking is truly selfish, and that's what I like least about it.

Happy trails, pocketpanda! Tell me how it goes.

StreamWader

Buelah,

If you go to the June Class thread you will see my post this morning. In that short post you may be surprised to see a few things that you and I, and your husband and I have in common.

When I was drinking and knew I had a problem but didn't want to admit it my line was "Its easy to stop drinking, I've done it a thousand times" Quite the comedian, I thought. There is no getting around this: You will have to speak to him sometime about your decision. I am crossing that bridge tonight. (See my June Class post.)

I have tried NA beers and had no luck. I had fallen so far that I was funnelling real beer into the NA beer bottles (At my own parties!). It was just to close for me. There is a sparkling water that has been a god send. It is called LaCroix and is sold in the water aisle at Miejer. (I see you're from MI) It is in a can, its cold, it goes Pffft when opened, it is carbonated and gurgles down your throat just like a real beer. Sometimes I pour it over ice with a twist or mix in a little cherry juice. I am not sure this "placebo" is the right thing to do.. but it works for me.

Good luck this week end.

Zebra1275

As other's have said, alcoholism is progressive. I was at the level you are at now for several years, and then it got worse. Try to imagine yourself 10 or 20 years down the road with the same drinking patterns, where will you be then?

Buelah

Streamwader - yes, your post sounds all very familiar. Every where we go, it's here have a beer....c'mon.....So, one turns to many, and for me turns to "sure, I'll have another Crown and Diet". Then there's the comic act by my husband, as well. Like I said, loveable as can be. But, it's truly a problem. We've know numerous people who have quit drinking for one reason or another, and we never heard of any one giving them a hard time. So, even though that will be a tough one to face as time goes by, I know it's something that will be a part of this change.

I love the pizza and wine thing. I think that is nice that your wife and you do that. But, if she loves you and enjoys your time together, she will appreciate knowing what you are trying to do to take control over this part of your life. I will address this with my husband, as well. I have before, but nothing would come about, because it was time for another beer. I'm hoping as I gain control that it won't bother me to be around others that drink. We have a lot of wonderful friends that drink in moderation and party on occasion and I would not want to forfeit that for anything. I just have to stay strong.

And I will be sure to pick some of the LaCroix up from Meijer. On days I wouldn't drink, I would have an A & W root beer....beer...it had to be a pop with the word beer in it, but it worked on those days. Like you said, a placebo perhaps.

Let me know how it works out with your wife. I wish you the best!

Buelah

Thank you kjell for your comments on my post. I appreciate honesty and don't mind having questions put before me. Makes me think a bit more about every aspect of this.

Kjell

That's what I was hoping for, but intent is hard to guage in writing.

Make no mistake about it. Just being on here, asking (and being willing to ask) for help is powerful. There is power in that asking.

You're doing great and I've been there, right there, wanting to quit, saying all the right things, but it turned out I needed help. I simply couldn't outhink my own alcoholism.

If you do want help, you've found a great place for it

Kjell~

Crow3000

Hi Buelah

I love that you'r on this forum expressing the desire to quit based on improving your overall physical well being. This forum sometime focuses pretty heavily on the "alcoholic" aspects of alcohol consumption and maybe even looks down on the "heavy drinking" crowd. Personally, I love hearing from heavy drinkers who are looking to improve their basic health through abstinence from alcohol.

Of course play the complete abstinence hand here, its just a whole lot easier (we are experts at this). If you succeed, there is no doubt that you will reap some enormous health benefits. My own physical appearance, energy level, sleep patterns, and mental clarity have changed drastically. People who haven't seen me in a while almost get uncomfortable with the changes they see. I did start pretty low though...

As for your own improvements, I can say with some certainty, that aside from losing weight if you are overweight, or if you quit smoking and are a smoker, there is little else you could do that will have such profound and positive impact on your overall health and well being.

Good luck and be patient, quitting drinking is tricky and things can get harder before they get better.

Buelah

Thank you, Crow3000. Fortunately, I do not smoke. In terms of the worst thing I do to my body and mind is drinking. I'm very active along with my hyper husband. But, it's like that commercial that used to be out regarding high cholesterol where they show the slender attractive gal walking along, but she has high cholesterol. I'm in decent shape, but it doesn't mean my insides will be if I continue to pickle my liver. And I can see the difference when I have an evening or two where I don't drink. When I've been drinking, before I go to bed, my face looks of one that's been drinking - watery eyes, discoloration in skin, drawn look. But, when I don't I look refreshed. It's amazing what alcohol does to you.

The start of a new journey....hopefully, there won't be too many bumps. But, if they happen, I know there will be lots of people to pick me up, wipe the dirt off me, and tell me to try again.

Dee74

I'm glad you're taking this decision - it sounds like the right one for you Buelah
Lots of great advice here too

Welcome aboard

D

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. Please keep reading and posting.

StreamWader

Is that bottle still on your counter? Untouched? You are an incredably strong person if it is.

When I read your post this morning on the June Class thread I wanted to respond immediatly, but held off to give this some thought. I certainly do not want to offend but at the same time wanted to voice some concern.

During my first few days, and even now, I ached for a drink. I ached to feel that ice cold plastic bottle of vodka in my hands, holding it to my lips and squeezing it hard. Ice cold vodka jetting straight down my throat. I could not have avoided that temptation if there had been beer or liquor in the house.

I do not question your methods. You, know you, better than anyone else. But I can tell you this (and this is the voice of years of drunken experience), if you think you are being brave by tempting fate it may backfire. It is a sly, cunning and ruthless beast we try to push from our lives. Don't give that beast any advantage at all.

I hope I haven't overstepped my boundries but I want you to experience day 3, and 4 and 5...

Put the bottle back in the cupboard.

Buelah

Advice well taken. We are visiting friends later today. (They are in their 80's), and I plan on taking it over there and he can put it in his liquor cabinet for when he has company. So, it will get it out of my reach. I feel good that I haven't touched it yet. But, you're right, why push it.

I'm very open minded, and I can not be offended, especially when it comes to this. It's something I'm taking very seriously and want to reap the benefit of a sober life.

My outlook on things has always been a positive one, so I don't know where the alcohol had to kick in, but it did. Makes no sense. All I know is I would wake up in the morning, saying "today this has got to stop"....and later that afternoon, it would start all over again.

My husband and I just froze all our chickens we raised this year and while we were he was having a beer. I was sure to pour myself a glass of Crystal Light and enjoy every sip.

I'm looking forward to days 3, 4, 5 and many more. And I know with continued support and advice, I can get control over this.

Thank you for your words. They did not fall on deaf ears. Don't be afraid to keep me in line.

Besides, I have go buy my ingredients for the Classical Sobertini.