Tinks65

I'm fairly new here and am so thankful for the support of this community. My AS came home from an 18 month incarceration last August. His faith was the cornerstone of his recovery in jail. He got a good job within days of coming home and for 8 months was doing real well. He relapsed in April ... things were really crazy but today he is clean, living in a sober living house and attending meetings. He has seen a therapist and a psychiatrist and was prescribed suboxone. Today he got laid off .... He seems to have a good attitude about it and is looking for work today, they gave him two weeks pay and said they would give him a good reference. There was a contractor near his house that gave him and one of his roomies work last sunday so he is going to contact him about more opportunities. Geez, I think it was sojourner who said being the mom of a drug addict is not for weanies!! Thats the truth!!

This will either serve as the impetus to launch him into getting serious about living by his faith or it will be yet another excuse to give in to his addiction. I'm a bit shaky wondering what will happen. He has worked as a server for many years and is really good at it. At every restaurant he ever worked at he would always have return customers ask to be sat in his section. Unfortunately the environment is wrought with users and having cash in hand every night was not good. He recognized when he came home that he could not go back. He hasn't mentioned it so I didn't either, I've encouraged him to look to God as I always do. I need to do that myself

sojourner

The "weenies" comment I took from somebody else - don't know who.

Hang in there mom. Your son is in an SLE and is seeing a therapist. I know I'd be hanging on by my fingernails myself because of their past behavior when life throws a wrench into things. But on the outside, he's in a good place with lots of sober supportive people to help him through this.

In the end, you are right. He may relapse. Addiction sucks. I hope you can find some positive things in this day. Remember the slogans, do some laundry, go out and dig in the dirt, plant some seeds and then watch for them every morning to peek through the dirt.

Don't know your specific faith tradition, but if you are Christian and like the modern bands that are out, go check out David Crowder Band on You Tube where they have a video using Lite Brite (remember that old children's toy?) with one of their songs in the background. It's a video about one aspect of God's love. It's also amazing in that this is an incredible amount of work to pull this off. Here is a bunch of good guys who know how to have fun, spread the Good News, and really get involved in a project.

((Hugs))

Tinks65

I'll check that video out ... I pretty much only listen to contemporary christian music these days. I used to listen to all kinds but have found that when I listen often the chorus's will stick around and I figure if something's going to stick in my head it's good that it's something that points me to Christ. Steven Curtis Chapman is my favorite.

I've folded some laundry already ( I lol when I read that ) I LOVE digging in the dirt too but I have a gazillion trees in my yard that make it difficult to plant much, I think I'll cut the grass and spend some time with God and maybe blog a bit.

((Hugs)) back at you friend

hello-kitty

Part of recovery is learning to live life on life's terms. Layoffs and hard times are only temporary. It's helpful to remember that when the bad times hit. Although I haven't noticed it, I hear there's an economic recovery happening out there... so hopefully he finds a good stable position soon.

puddinface

Tinks....my AS just went through a similar situation also. He goes to a trade school at night and got his very first interview as a trainee in the field he is going to school for. He was very excited about everything. Very upbeat and positive!! (He is weaning off of Suboxone) Of course, he failed to mention that they gave him a drug test as part of the interview process. It came back positive for marijuana (so he says). I think it may have been his first kick in the stomach of how drugs affect your life in so many ways. Once again, two steps backwards. I had to bite my tongue. And you are right...this is definitely not a job for weenies...!!

hope213

i know u are worried about your son but it will get u nowhere. you said u thought about mentioning to him about the server job...don't!! hands off the addict. my son is also my addict. he has put me thru hell. today i know "hands off the addict". the mom in all of us want to fix everything for our child but we can not. as hello kitty said, this is part of living life on lifes terms. i hope he can find work soon. it is not good for an addict to b idle. welcome to S.R. & keep coming back.

Tinks65

thanks for the support, I really needed to hear that part of recovery is living on life's terms. No, hope213 I didn't say I thought about mentioning a serving job .. I was worried HE would mention it, I am biting my tongue so much as I go about letting him find his own way I'm afraid I'll bite it off!!!

So if he says he is going to try to find a serving job is it ok if I say I don't think that is a good idea?? I spoke with him just a bit ago and mostly just tried to encourage him in his recovery, a lot of "that's good" "I agree" and I continue to point him to his faith etc... Despite losing the job he is very optimistic and excited about where he is. Maybe because he is finally making his own way without our help. I can't say I am full of hope. Hope has become a scary thing for me. I'm just grateful for today and the "I love you momma" I got before we hung up, a glimpse of my boy who has been lost .... one day at a time

Chino

I asked my daughter if it was a good idea. She thought it over for a day or two and said no.

Ann

Your boy sounds like he's on a good path, Tinks. I found that cheering from the sidelines was usually better than "awfulizing" every time something went wrong for my son.

My son got clean at the worst of times, and he relapsed at the best times, so there was no predicting, it just happened when and if it happened...and nothing I did or didn't do could change that.

Today I just say a prayer every morning and ask God to take care of him and then live the rest of the day well, in faith that God's got his back.

Hugs

Tinks65

I am learning that Ann, He called just a few minutes ago. A contractor is clearing a lot right next door to his house so he is working all day today. He has always been a glass half full kind of kid, even when he was little. It serves him well. I will continue to offer healthy support from the sidelines and get myself to a nar anon meeting. I looked them up online and found that there is one fairly close to me that meets on Monday evenings. I am hoping to get my youngest son (he's 17) to come with me as well. This has been really hard on him. He was the closest to him, I have two other adult children as well. They have all pretty much disconnected from AS I'm the only one who talks to him theses days, my husband helped get him settled into the SLE but doesn't talk to him otherwise. geez i'm tired