peanut21

I am new to the site and have been looking around. My husband of nine years is an addict of just about everything from pills and alcohol to crack at times. In November my husband had been clean for 6 months and my son and I found my 29 year old brother's body. He had passed away from a drug overdose. Two weeks later my husband started doing pills and drinking again. On Christmas Eve his brother passed away from a drug overdose at the age of 32. My husband's addiction just keeps escalating since then. I love him very much but I cannot leave my children with him or go in a vehicle with him. We are afraid we are going to find his body any time. I don't know where to go from here. So far he still has a very good job but I don't know how long he can keep this up. I am not working at this time due to a disability and awating surgery so I have 0 income to support me and the kids. It also seems with the addiction comes emotional abuse.

If anyone has any suggestions or words of wisdom I would be greatful.

JustAYak

Welcome to SR, glad you found us. I don't have any advice for you unfortunately as I have never been in this situation but stick around because there are A LOT of people here who do know what it's like and have had that experience .

I do want to say that you are right in protecting yourself and your kids first and for most. There's also the three Cs that are worthwhile for you and your kids to learn:

You did not cause it
You cannot control it
You cannot cure it

Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR......I'm glad you found us but very sorry for the reasons that bring you here.

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and your brother-in-law. It's so sad to hear of this disease taking them. It's so very hard on your family. With those experiences so fresh, I can understand how you fear the loss of your husband too.

Please....stick around.....participate and take what you need from all of us here who understand how very difficult it is to love an addict. There is help and hope for all of us and many of us are on the path of recovery ourselves. It is possible to have faith and hope and not get lost in the fear and anxiety.

You are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

peanut21

It is hard to understand how someone who has seen his own brother and brother-in-law die within a month of each other continue to do drugs. It seems like he doesn't care if he lives or dies and has said as much. What do you say to that as his wife? Until I met my husband I knew nothing of drugs. Now I know more than I ever wanted to. How to look up what pill I found this time. what the brillo pad shavings in his vehicle are for. Hiding spots you would never think to look. That just by the way he breathes or sleeps or says one word that he is on something.
My heart breaks every day. My son who is 13 just wrote him a letter telling him that he is scared that he will die and doesn't want to do things with him because he doesn't want to be around the drugs and drinking. I don't know what to tell my son. I am at the point now that if I could leave I would it just isn't possible at this time. I feel trapped and afraid.

hope213

i am so sorry for the loss of your brother & brother in law. i am sorry your husband is putting u & the kids thru this. that is the way of an addict. we think how can they do the drug after they see what it can do & has done to our family. that is the diease part.
i wish i had some good sound advice to give you. i wish i could tell you where to go for help. i just want you to know i care about you & my prayers are with you . read around, there are alot of stories here & maybe one of them will help you. hugs & prayers,

outtolunch

Many do the "it's not so bad" thing until it is. We codependents are no different.

His ability to provide for his family seems tenuous at best.

Have you considered seeing an attorney to discuss your options, in your state?

Continue to put the children first.