ajangel

I thought that the more time went by, the less cravings and easier it would be. I was dead wrong. This last week has proved that. Yesterday was by far the worst for cravings. I mean total cravings. I was to the point yesterday that I decided to go to the liquor store today as soon as it opened and buy a half pint of vodka. It's not that I want the buzz. I just have this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. Unlike any craving I have had before. I got through it. Only because I randomly opened my bible and Proverbs 23:31-35 was the first page it came to. Wow! Not super religious but if that isn't a sign, I don't know what is. Thanks for reading. One day at a time.

instant

Looking back why do you think it came on then?

You made it through- do you think with every time like that you weaken the link with alcohol?

TheTinMan

Congrats on 40 days!

What are you doing to stay sober?

ajangel

I don't know why it came on then. Maybe because I was lonely. I don't really have anyone to share this experience with except SR. I won't do AA so that is out of the question. I feel like I have changed into a different person since I quit drinking. Like something is missing. Like my last post said about being on auto pilot. I just started a new job but on my 90 days, I am going to start going to counseling.

ajangel

Putting my faith in God. Handing it over to him.

recoverywfaith

Congrats on 40 days.

1undone

40 days is great but not that long and this goes to show how fragile our sobriety is! Hang in there and know that you are certainly not alone! I struggle every day.

miko67

what is the proverbs? the ones u opened up at?
i think you have to listen very carefully to who is in control of your head! YOU.tell that other voice to get to france. get yourself a bike get some music in your ears go out smell the air see the scenery and enjoy the ride comeback and you will feel entirely different. its just stress getting to you . and you are very fragile still. i think we need to deal with our free time in a totally different way. explore your hobbies join some class whats your interests? i mean the money you spent on alcohol can go towards these classes. go on you deserve it.
peace.

ajangel

I am online now looking at joining a gym. I love to workout and have a gym at my complex but my motivation is not there. Thought it would be good take a tae bo class or something. Anything to get out of my apartment. Put on 9 lbs since I quit. Not worrying about weight too much but I am starting to feel real lazy. Working out will help those endorphins too. I don't have to leave for work until 215pm so using the excuse of not having time doesn't fly. Need something. Anything. I am too hyper to have too much idle time on my hands. Thanks for the reply.

Zebra1275

Congrats on the 40 days. Some days are much more difficult than others, glad to see you stayed the course.

indakut

Congrats on 40 days . I have read my bible so much since being sober. It's what roots me...I will post some verses that help me acknowledge your mission.

Itchy

Congrats on the 40 days. Sorry you had a rough time of it an almost consented to let yourself relapse. As said in another thread get some more tools. I am at almost 9 months and at your number of days still had some serious PAWS. It is worth the investment in time.

newwings

Congrats on 40 days! I think the idea of finding a new exercise regimen is a good one. Rather than go for the burn, I think you might benefit from something that works you, but also centers you, and with a more spiritual aspect - yoga or tai chi, for example. They are beautifully hardcore workouts, and I've found something deeper in them, too. I had a yoga session the other day that left me feeling totally exhilarated physically, and with an inner peace, that stuck for days. Quite hard to explain in words, though!

Dee74

Congratulations on 40 day lpnangel.

I really agree with the idea that we need as much support as we think we need - if AA's not for you, then I hope counselling or SMART works out better

D